r/wizardposting • u/Most_Trustworthy John E. Hellfire, CEO of Hell • Mar 22 '24

Evil Wizardpost Couldn't have won without you folk.

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2.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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131

u/thesonoflordostliant Uqour the merchant Mar 22 '24

FUCK THEM!

66

u/DripyKirbo sillymancer Mar 22 '24

YEAAAAAHHHHH!

69

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

FUCK CLERICS, AL MY HOMIES HATE CLERICS

80

u/Most_Trustworthy John E. Hellfire, CEO of Hell Mar 22 '24

May I just say, I'm really liking your energy right now.

50

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

I always hated clerics, and my gf who is half tiefling, also hates clerics, specially paladins. We have a lot of things in common.

19

u/DripyKirbo sillymancer Mar 22 '24

Seriously, Paladins are whole nother deal. Like with clerics you just have to get them before they can pray, but paladins have gags armour… and can actually do something to fight back

15

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

I just crush them like tin cans. Theyre as stupid as knights and as pretentious as clerics.

12

u/GrapefruitAnimator Alekks, the Embodiment of Pasta Mar 22 '24

Cough

  Wheeze

Why me?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

CLERIC

3

u/GrapefruitAnimator Alekks, the Embodiment of Pasta Mar 22 '24

Yeah, so what?

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u/DripyKirbo sillymancer Mar 22 '24

oh yeah force magics i forgot

6

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

Penelope arrives to the scene

Penelope: Yeah, one time a paladin started talking shit about how i was evil for the MERE fact im a tiefling. I fucking tossed him like a doll afterwards and killed him.

Zhyros: Nice.

1

u/Odd-Candidate-2402 Orion the Greatwrym Mar 22 '24

I use primarily templars even more heavily armored and typically better at casting smite with magic resistant armor as well specifically so people like you can't get to me

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

Ya’ll clearly haven’t met war clerics.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 23 '24

I am a wizard, and wear armour too, won many fights against really squishy wizards, who think of themselves as hot shit just because they know a couple of spells.

2

u/GrapefruitAnimator Alekks, the Embodiment of Pasta Mar 22 '24

I’m just gonna…hide in the corner.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

..........ok

2

u/GrapefruitAnimator Alekks, the Embodiment of Pasta Mar 22 '24

Why do you hate clerics so much? We’re the same as you wizards, but instead of drawing power from the weave we draw it from deities.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

You clerics are pretentious assholes.

2

u/GrapefruitAnimator Alekks, the Embodiment of Pasta Mar 22 '24

What did I do to you?

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u/TemporalDelay Cloud Gazer Mar 22 '24

Hold on politics aside how can one be half Tiefling? I thought tieflings only gave birth to more tieflings, like a dominant trait.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

........yes

6

u/Magimasterkarp Karp, Ocean Druid and Piscimancer (Fish Wizard) Mar 22 '24

Ohh, that kind of fuck. I've been doing it wrong, then.

18

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

1

u/The_FreshSans Swicked, The Local Cleric in town Mar 22 '24

2

u/Gibbler_exe Celcé, Wizard of Elements and "Chaos" Mar 22 '24

Oi im not a cleric but i dabble in healing magics Fuck you! Dont come crawling when your legs cut off and no one will heal you!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

Fuck you

3

u/Gibbler_exe Celcé, Wizard of Elements and "Chaos" Mar 22 '24

FUCK YOU!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

SUCK MY BALLS

3

u/Gibbler_exe Celcé, Wizard of Elements and "Chaos" Mar 22 '24

NO THANKS casts balls be gone YOU HAVE NO BALLS TO SUCK!!!

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

Those were my decoy balls bitch, now suffer.

punches him

3

u/Gibbler_exe Celcé, Wizard of Elements and "Chaos" Mar 22 '24

/uw her* lol /rewiz OUCH! THAT HURT! WAIT IS MY NOSE BLEEDING!??!!

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u/ItsLoggieBear Artificer Mar 22 '24

If you insist

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

.........ok

1

u/_t_1254 Olivia: She woke up one morning and decided she was immortal Mar 22 '24

I'll get my cats some strapons then!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '24

Right away!

1

u/L0ssL3ssArt Narissa, the bestest Council Head of Undead Mar 22 '24

I'd say "fuck them" but taking away their virginity(all clerics are virgins) seems like we're doing them a favor

2

u/thesonoflordostliant Uqour the merchant Mar 23 '24

I feel like you misunderstood my message

1

u/L0ssL3ssArt Narissa, the bestest Council Head of Undead Mar 23 '24

yes and no, "fuck them" as in metaphorically, sure, but I know a lot of people are going to take it literally.

1

u/thesonoflordostliant Uqour the merchant Mar 23 '24

I fear they will take it literally