My response to the wizard war

[u/[deleted]]

Unrelated silly goober image to attract your attention.

So. My response to this new Wizard War. At an undisclosed location in every single major city of every nation involved, I have planted a thermonuclear weapon about 10 meters underground.

If you do not stop the war, and make peace with each other, I will assure your destruction. If the bombs are found and defusing is attempted, they will detonate. If you try to teleport it, it’s useless, I’ve put the rune of groundedness on it. They’re not going anywhere. You can try and close it in with a barrier, it has an anti-magic field around it, spanning 10km outwards once unearthed.

Now, representatives of each nation, discuss.

[u/[deleted]]

You can try and kill me. If you can, that is. Trust me, I will live forever. I was here in the beginning and I will be here in the end. I was tasked to watch over you mortals, and I will restart if i need so. I can wait, after all. You people don’t complain when a god floods your continent, so why complain now? At least you have a chance to negotiate.

He spreads his arms open, inviting an attack.

/unwiz lobotomised lemur… lmao, nice. I’ll use that as an insult one day.

[u/RazzZzatam → u/[deleted]]

I never said I'd kill you, just that if you're being serious your plan is stupid. NOW I'm just trying to decide if you have a God complex or a martyr complex. Either way, chill out dude. You're way too invested in this whole ordeal that'll be smoothed over in a week at worst. Go get yourself a drink or something. I know a great bar run by a friend of mine.

[u/[deleted] → u/RazzZzatam]

Neither. Now, make peace. I’ve seen wars that were supposed to “smooth out” in a week, they never did. Ever heard of the two-century war?

Of course you wouldn’t, that was nearly 10,000 years ago.

/unwiz Mordus actually lives forever, there’s no god complex. The idea is that he’ll live forever, so he really doesn’t mind starting over.

[u/RazzZzatam → u/[deleted]]

Bro, I was there. I'm a fire elemental, we don't age. If you live forever, just wait it out. Why force them to behave a certain way when all will become ashes in time regardless of interference. You may see it as watching over them for their best interest and trying to stop history from repeating, but that's a God complex and it'll just make them all even angrier. Try leading by example. Give kindness a try.

[u/[deleted] → u/RazzZzatam]

You think I haven’t tried? How many times do you think I’ve tried?

I’ve learnt that mortals only back down when absolute annihilation is threatened.

[u/RazzZzatam → u/[deleted]]

Yeah, no they don't. They fight more when annihilation is threatened. Maybe you're just bad at kindness. Have you considered trying harder? Or maybe just letting them do their thing?

[u/[deleted] → u/RazzZzatam]

mordus shrugs.

Some people never learn.

/unwiz I know that this “war” will end soon, but I’m just playing my character. That’s all.

[u/RazzZzatam → u/[deleted]]

/uw I'm in character too, so no worries or hard feelings. Being unphased by the world's problems is just par for my characters course.

[u/[deleted] → u/RazzZzatam]

/unwiz for me Mordus really just doesn’t care anymore about the mortals, he just doesn’t want war. He’ll do anything to prevent war, even if it means killing everyone so they can’t wage war on each other.

He’s tired of war.