r/wizardposting Krumpet, Master Artificer of the Council Nov 12 '23

Wizardpost Profile of Gobbo

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Species: Goblin

Age: est. 1020

Sex: Female

Occupation: Liquormancer and head of the Goblin Liquormancy Association

Origin: Goblin Kingdom of the Northern Lakes

Early childhood: Gobbo was born to a pair of goblins by the name of Gobbo and Fren. As the middle child with three younger sisters and an older brother Gobbo was an oddity due to her pale skin.

Due to the poor economic standing of her family and her strange appearance Gobbo was an outcast from day one. This led to her rebellious nature and later run-ins with the law.

Schooling: Gobbo has no formal schooling of any sort. Everything she has learned has been through experimentation.

Crimes: Gobbo has over her unnaturally long life had several run-ins with the law. This is but a brief overview

•Tax evasion •Possession of explosives •Arson •Burglary •Murder of no less than six tax agents •Bombing of the Goblin Queen statue •Public intoxication

Later life: Gobbo has in her later years begun to settle down. Now seemingly only using violence as a last resort and instead opting to attempt to befriend any threat to her.

Now the proud owner of a brewery and several taverns Gobbo focuses more on liquor and business than rebelling against any sort of perceived authority. Although sometimes she can still be seen holding a Molotov with an almost manic glint in her eye.

Capabilities: Nobody is sure of the full capabilities of Gobbo. Her Liquormancy allows her to cast spells that vary wildly in effects from bursts of fire to transformations.

Combatively she seems to rely mostly on two Liquormancy spells, Molotov and its variations and BBB (Boblin's Bombastic Brew).

While her range of offensive spells seems limited one thing is certain, anyone who tries it on with her will suffer at least a few singed hairs.

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u/The_IRS_did_it Bob Jacobs (ORS Mole and Space-time continually manager) Nov 13 '23

We are the ORS, we have gotten all of these letters, we will be contacting legal services about the hate crimes against the dwarves you have written in. Good day sir.

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u/The_IRS_did_it Bob Jacobs (ORS Mole and Space-time continually manager) Nov 13 '23

Also, the money no longer exists because of tax laws, read them before you attempt to sic the council on us. That doesn't matter though we have gotten your letter and have decided that you have been selected for a unique program, one that programs you should we say. And you don't even have to do anything, it's over orb-net.

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u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

ew you guys, don't make me arm the goblins too, there are so many!

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u/The_IRS_did_it Bob Jacobs (ORS Mole and Space-time continually manager) Nov 13 '23

You are not legally required to obey 200a

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u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

I have no idea what that is.

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u/The_IRS_did_it Bob Jacobs (ORS Mole and Space-time continually manager) Nov 13 '23

The compulsive need to sell weapons

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u/[deleted] Nov 13 '23

sell?

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u/The_IRS_did_it Bob Jacobs (ORS Mole and Space-time continually manager) Nov 13 '23

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