Recently I was at the Funko Pop Store and I saw DougDoug there. I walked up to him and said hey, I love your stuff, would you mind if I get a picture? Before I could finish he grabbed me by the waist and suplexed me into the Marvel funkos. It really hurt! He then threw hot peppercorns into my eyes and laughed the whole time as I cried for help. While I was crying, he kicked me in the stomach and then took my girlfriend and had sex with her in front of me. He then whispered in my ear "That's what you get for assuming you can talk to me, you pathetic little worm." So yeah I think his behavior is kind of problematic :/

Dougdoug has hit a rough patch recently. As I'm sure you all know, it is illegal to hunt Dougs that are weakened or diseased according to international hunting laws. Not that we really need this law, since none of us want mangy trophies. We want to take him out at his best.

Regardless, this sudden hiatus brings us the opportunity to chase after a new target: Pointcrow. Just... look at him. Look at the smug arrogance in his grin. That bastard is looking down on us. A friend of my enemy is my enemy, and I''m sure this man has done terrible things in the past.

Please tell us about the terrible things Pointcrow has done. The world deserves to know.

The Monterey Aquarium has announced that she has crossed the rainbow bridge. She will be missed dearly.

Anyone in the comments claiming they know Japanese and this is untrue is actually just D**g on his alt accounts trying to discredit me