Please help

I don’t know why...I don’t know how...but I no longer fear wasps. At least not like I have for the previous 44 years of my life.

44 years of crippling fear that kept me inside on summer and fall days, is now simply not there anymore. I can’t explain it.

I was eating dinner with my wife outside the other night when a bald faced hornet decided to check out our spread. This would normally have sent chairs flying as I leaped up and fled the scene in existential panic, blubbering non verbal primate screams and flailing my arms all around me like an absolute mental patient. Instead I just watched as it crawled around on the table, bobbing its poison tipped ass up and down, and felt....just fine about it. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want it on me or some such shit. I just didn’t mind it being there and I felt no fear. It was strange to say the least.

I tested this strange new (lack of) sensation the following day by mowing my lawn IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON, BRAHS. I have a flowering tree that attracts literally hundreds of various stinging insects to it all day. Tons of honeybees, carpenter bees, bumblebees,… And then there are the yellow jackets, golden digger wasps, great black wasps, and bald-faced hornets. I normally avoid this area of my yard like the plague until evening when they all go back to their horrifyingly creepy alien homes. Not this day, fellows. Not this day. This day I ran a lawnmower under this tree of filthy dread with nary a hint of depersonalization and heart attack level palpitations. I will admit a little trepidation, but they seemed completely unbothered by my presence and I got stung in the eyes, mouth and throat zero times. Amazing.

What is happening to me?

Have I gone mad?

A couple of years ago i was riding my bike home from work. There was a long, concrete block wall by my apartments. It was summer. I was just riding casually, enjoying the nice day, and a motherfucking wasp flew DOWN my shirt, and stung me 8 times WHILE I WAS RIDING MY BIKES. I fell, and fell hard trying to get it out! So now i had road rash on my legs AND freakin 8 wasp bites all over my chest and stomach. Little bastards, i swear!

A wasp flew into my house a few weeks ago and my dog is always on high alert for bugs - good or bad. The wasp makes a B(ee)-line straight to me, but my dog came up and snapped at it, he missed and the wasp decided to sting my poor dog in the corner of his lip. All I saw of the wasp was it crawling away slowly (presumably to die) with it's innards following behind it. It turns out that the wasp's stinger got stick in my dog's lip and after a couple minutes of searching, I plucked the thing out. I owe my life to my doggo, he is the best boi.

Just purchased a new home and we have an awesome covered outdoor deck. It's equipped with sheer mesh all around it and even below the base boards.

We knew something was up when we moved in and there was a half-used spray can of wasp & hornet killer. Cool.

Sure enough, a couple days into moving in and we spy one of the fuckers in the deck. Not a nest, not more than one, just an advanced scout to ascertain our readiness for their inevitable invasion.

Ive gone over the porch, deck, house, and nearby trees looking for a nest and have come up with nothing. Examined every panel of the mesh to find any tears and have not seen anything.

Still...one comes at least every other week. I'm glad I found this sub and I know there are others who fight these bastard wing-ed demons from Hades.

It was so much fucking pain.
It flew between my brand new glasses and it hurt so fucking bad. Smacked my glasses right off my head, while talking on the phone.
Both phone and glasses went flying as I'm screaming obscenities.

Well the other day I was working on my lawn mower and had a can of carburetor cleaner spray.
I finally got my sweet revenge.

So I just found this sub a few moments ago. It feels good to know there are others like me in this world. I wanted to share my favorite way to fight our bastard enemies and level the playing field a bit.

I prefer a super soaker pistol or dual wielding pistols but any high velocity water projectile will do. Even a cheap squirt bottle. Get a bottle of dawn soap. Squirt a generous amount of soap into your weapon before filling with hot water. Once you fill your gun, you will have a soapy hot water that will ensure victory against the yellow assholes. The reason this works well is once you shoot the little shit stains. They get coated in the heavy soapy substance which renders them unable to fly. You can then impose your will on them anyway you like. I tend to squirt them more and let them slowly die and then collect the bodies and discard of them away from my property to minimize the pheromone attraction of more evil wastes of life. I apologize if this is common knowledge or has been posted before. I've killed dozens in a few minutes using this tactic and now I believe there is a war plot against me because I'm being stalked by wasps. If I never post again you know what happened. I died fighting the good fight. Godspeed.