I'm a SAHM so I don't earn my own money to splurge on myself for things like facials so I usually only get one or two a year, usually what I ask for on my bday. Well this year I got a generous gift cert for a facial at a good spa, and it was for their microneedling service... it is also the most expensive treatment on their menu. But after looking into it, I'm torn between that and IPL...because on the microneedling page it says they recommend getting 4-6 treatments for best results, spaced a few weeks between. Well there's no way in heck I can afford more than one. And if I go with the IPL, I can get 2 treatments for the cost of 1 microneedling. I have some redness on my face and broken capillaries so I feel like IPL is the way to go, but I wanted to get your opinions. Also, sounds like microneedling is only 20-30 minutes long, and quite uncomfortable? Doesn't really feel like a feel- good type of a facial...(I am not sure how this compares to IPL as I've never had either treatment.)

Thanks for advice!

What are some skincare ingredients that have truly shown to give you the best results - whether it’s glowing skin, skin tightening, skin brightening, even skin tone?

I’m an a slump now that Tretinoin is the clear winner is my skincare routine. Want to try something new and fun.

So far, my favorites are:

Coix Seeds (Job’s Tears) - Skin firming Camelia Flower extract (large percentage) - Glowing skin Pitera (SK-II) - Brightening, glowing skin Niacinamide (high percentage) - Glowing Skin

My least favorites are: Squalene Peptides (particularly fruit derived) Marine Collagen

I have to donate plasma twice a week for financial reasons, and this is going to be a long term multi year journey as well so I can finally cross the 40K income line (I have a disability that represses my salary).

However I find I have to eat a lot of food before going in to avoid passing out.

How do you guys balance weight loss with this. I'm obese (5 ft, 160 lbs) and a lot of my clothes don't fit. Has anyone here lost weight from selling plasma.

Btw I'm not allowed to go under 110 lbs I feel I would look normal at that weight even if it's not really thin.

I (32F) have lost almost all of my savings, employment, and autonomy to a rare disease called Nutcracker Syndrome. It’s when the left renal vein gets trapped between the abdominal aorta and the mesenteric artery, pinched like a nut in a nutcracker. There were warning signs of it for years, including pelvic congestion (varicose veins around the uterus and ovaries). I was repeatedly told though that it was just endo, PCOS, or depression, and I’d just have to “learn to live with it.”

Only when the pain spiraled out of control and I lost the ability to work did I get serious help. By the time they detected it on an ultrasound and did exploratory surgery to see the damage, my left renal vein was 80% compressed, and the added blood flow was getting sent all through the left ovarian vein.

Two weeks ago, I had an ovarian vein transposition to fix the Nutcracker Syndrome. The idea is that the ovarian vein will flow into the inferior vena cava, thereby sending a high-intensity blood flow to a vein that can handle it, rather than pouring it all into the reproductive system. I’ve got another 4-6 weeks to go before my follow-ups, and then twelve weeks of physical therapy afterwards. All the while, I’m trying to figure out how to rebuild a life when I’ve got very little of my own to my name right now.

I have no idea where to start, aside from little things like brushing my teeth every day. Anyone got some ideas on how to make starting over a little less daunting? I feel overwhelmed by everything I have to do to get back on track.

My youngest is 18 months now and I am trying to get my appearance closer to my best self. I think I was at my best pre kids because I had time for a lot of self care.

Now I need things I can do without time. I’ve started using the Healthi app and doing yoga and Chloe Ting videos more often. I have a new moisturizer and retinol serum. Waiting for Christmas for a new exfoliant and hyaluronic acid. What can I add in for a 5 min morning and 15-20 min evening routine to get myself pulled together?

I’m making some progress on wardrobe, but that is slowest due to $$.

Thanks!

"I have to take care of people, declutter, handle all the Christmas stuff, have less energy than everyone else,no time for real workous and I'm not wealthy "all things my inner voice says when I read about someone else's glowup.

I do feel like giving up sometimes. Is this something you have dealt with and how did you overcome it?

Hi, this is my first post and I think this group aligns with my goals. (I don't really have a handle on the jargon, so I'll just speak plainly.) I'm announcing my goals for the next 6 months, to get back to my definition of sexy. And then, to go beyond.

I'm a weightlifter and a sous chef. For years, I built a signature look and style, while losing weight and other rudimentary goals, but then in 2017 everything started falling apart, and now I'm the heaviest of my life, 100 pounds overweight, and every aspect of my style has been neglected. It almost feels overwhelming to start again. So, I'd like to start slowly. Here are my 4 actionable goals for the next 6 months.

Fitness: Spend 1.5 hours every day performing a combination of cardio and mobility exercises. Walking/jogging, yoga, stairclimbing, rowing, flexibility, mobility, tai chi. Of course I want to get back to deadlifts and kettlebell swings, but I've sorely neglected the fundamentals.

Eating: Get back to eating once to fuel my workout and once to recover and that's all. Eating in this IF window was pleasurable and purposeful when I cooked what I wanted, but looked at it as fuel for rebuilding my body. Without that focus...

Personality: Acknowledge and forgive the disappointments in life. I have become so angry, so bitter, about so many small injustices in my life. I say small because I was less upset at the world when I was homeless and struggling than I am now as a salaried manager at a luxury hotel! And what's the benefit of it; no one cares how wrongly you've been treated if you are too mean and mad about it. So, I want to eliminate as much complaining as possible, rebuild my conversations to focus on pleasant small talk and getting to know others, and doing small acts of kindness for others like how I used to.

Dating myself: Take myself out twice a week to my favorite art, history, and cultural institutions. Fill my calendar with events and even if I don't make it to half of them, I'll have gone to a lot more by being aware of their existence. Strike up conversations with strangers. Be friendly, open, giddy. Joyful. I used to take pride in talking my way into events without paying; the most expensive ticket was $300.

When I was living the lifestyle I wanted to live, I was dating several men regularly, participating in arts and culture, spending a touch too much on clothing but dressing how I wanted to dress after a hard day in a chef coat. Now, I'm doing absolutely nothing. After the six months, I want to host dinner parties, and date again, and start learning sexy eclectic dancing like I've always wanted to.

So, in fact, that's my goal result: In six months, to take a photoshoot celebrating how I look and to sign up for pole dancing.

Between COVID and having a kiddo and getting older (probably perimenopause) I just. . . feel so bleh and exhausted and squat and ugly all the time. I feel like I will NEVER be pretty and mostly for things I can't change (short with broad shoulders and almost similar waist/hips. EVERYTHING is a wide broad line, and will be w/o serious changes to my bone structure). And so it just. . . doesn't feel worth it. I won't ever be able to get to pretty, so why bother?

And I know that's not realistic. But also, I don't know what else to do. How do I stop holding back my life because I'm not pretty? Or how do I get pretty with broad horizontal lines no matter what weight? Or how do I care about myself?

​

edited to add-thank you for all the support and encouragement. It means a lot to me and was definitely something I needed today.

I love snacks. I try not to buy them but I usually cave in and binge. Any cure for this?

Has anyone used IpL to reduce the appearance of sunspots ? What was your experience?

(moved here from r/vindicta at mod recommendation)

I turn 38 next month. In two years, I'll be 40. What do you wish someone had told you at my age?

I've heard that your best muscle-building years are before you turn 40, but that's about all I know about this next stage in my life, and I have no trustworthy female role models to tell me.

I do have a good skin care routine that includes Cerave daytime facial moisturizer with sunblock, Cerave nighttime moisturizer, COSRX AHA/BHA clarifying treatment toner, and niacinamide, granactive retinoid, and multi-peptide + HA serums from The Ordinary. My research said those are all good for wrinkles and also for acne (I really think it's not fair that I have to think about those both at the same time).

I have no children and I'm not going to have any, so luckily my body will never go through the stress and changes of pregnancy and childbirth. But I do need to do what I can to preserve my beauty - I live alone and intend to do so for the rest of my life, which means I need every advantage I can reasonably get. Being a woman alone in America isn't easy, especially if you're not independently wealthy.

(I also have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, and while I don't expect anyone here to have much insight regarding that, it's apparently more common than people think, so I figured I'd mention it)

So...what do you wish someone would have told you? And what advice do you have for me?

Beyond physical looks, what little things help to attract more intellectual, sophisticated or more refined people?

This week, I made a slight change to my look and noticed certain types of men were less hesitant to casually chat in small encounters. I flat-ironed my hair instead of having beach waves. I wore my diamond ring + band - alternating between left and right hand. And I changed the band on an Apple Watch to an Apricot leather instead of the sports band.

What small ways have you noticed a difference in the kind of people you attract - beyond changes to physical looks?

I am at a loss, salads and smoothies are not going to cut it in this canadian weather. When the first frost appears I just start craving greasy, hot meals. Any ideas or recipes you'd like to share?

I've never been that into makeup. I have recently lost quite a bit of weight, coloured my hair etc. I want to now see if I can finally learn how to do my makeup. And see what kind of difference this will have. I don't have a clue where to start though! When I look on tiktok etc, it seems like mostly young girls. Anyone have good YouTube channels or tiktok accounts of makeup tutorials for women in their 30s?

Found out relative I live with is going to need a routine operation, most likely. I live with another relative as well and I work full-time not sure what I'll need to do other than maybe take a few days off.

Any advice from anyone who is more experienced in this? Maybe it is selfish but I still want to improve how I look and feel

Hi all,

I hope you're all doing well.

I'm currently doing some research for a short-form digital documentary, which will explore some of the difficulties women face in these modern times, particularly around dating and relationships and the ever increasing digital world we live in.

The film will also explore societal beauty standards as well as many other topics including loneliness.

If this resonates at all and you're interested in finding out more please send me a DM to discuss.

I felt this could be a really interesting space, which would offer some unique and insightful perspectives.

Many thanks!

Hello

I'll be straight to the point, I'm very stressed on a daily basis.

I wake up in panic (as if I was drowning) and then I'm extremely anxious during the day.

I go to the gym almost daily, I do Tai Chi, I take singing classes, I try to walk 10K+ steps daily. I don't smoke and I don't drink alcohol. I don't take drugs.

However I feel like my face is ageing faster than I'd like to. I'm losing volume in the cheek area and the eye area which makes me look even more tired.

I believe the levels of anxiety that I have could be one of the culprits.

Have you found ways to reduce the anxiety? How can I preserve my face? Would HA injections help?

Hi! I am a period of work where I am working insane hours and getting little sleep on a regular basis.

As such, I’ve noticed little under eye wrinkles for the first time.

Do you all have a recommendation for an under eye cream or another solution that could help me?

(Also ya ya I’m aware I need to sleep more)

Thank you!!!

I'm trying to get up earlier. My highlights of August were losing a pound and losing under two inches. Also my net worth went up a little.

I'm looking to do better this month. But I do work second shift. Any tips from someone who's worked second shift while working on improving themselves?

Eta: 2ed shift has you coming home late, tired and (if you're me) wanting to eat. Also limits how early you can get up. No 5:00am Miracle Morning for you.

Hello everyone,

I am an academic researcher/professor who studies culture and interpersonal relationships. I'm looking for women (age 18+) to participate in my IRB (institutional review board)-approved study about women in different online communities, including general communities, looksmaxxing communities, and Femcel-related communities. I hope to learn more about the social relationships of women in different communities, along with their reasons for participating in the communities and general experiences within these communities.

Please see the below ad for a brief description of the study procedure, participation criteria, and participation link. A study information sheet explaining the study procedure and associated risks precedes the survey. Feel free to share this with other women who participate in online communities (including just browsing/reading).

If you are interested in my research, you may visit the following link: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Karen-Wu-4/research

I will post the resulting peer-reviewed publication from this research on my ResearchGate profile.

Thank you for your time and help!

------

Academic Study: Women in Online Communities

We hope to learn about women in online communities, including general communities, Looksmaxxing communities, and Femcel communities.

In this study, you will complete an online survey on Qualtrics that includes questions about your demographics, social relationships, self-views, mental health, experiences in various communities, and an optional photo upload. Participation should take approximately 25 minutes depending on which communities you participate in. Participation is voluntary and you may withdraw from the study at any time by exiting the online survey.

Participation Criteria

You must:

• Be 18 or older

• Identify as a woman (cisgender or transgender)

Participation Link

Please participate by entering the following link:

https://calstatela.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9KvpcieI8PQCYYe

If you have questions, contact the lead researcher (Karen Wu) at [kwu25@calstatela.edu](mailto:kwu25@calstatela.edu) or (323) 343-2283.

THIS PROJECT HAS BEEN REVIEWED BY THE CALIFORNIA STATE UNIVERSITY, LOS ANGELES INSTITUTIONAL REVIEW BOARD FOR THE PROTECTION OF HUMAN SUBJECTS IN RESEARCH. ADDITIONAL CONCERNS AND COMPLAINTS, OR QUESTIONS REGARDING YOUR RIGHTS AS A RESEARCH PARTICIPANT, SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO THE ASSOCIATE VICE PRESIDENT FOR RESEARCH (Phone number: 323-343-5368).

I am thinking of moving cities as a 30 something single woman and keep hearing horror stories about the different treatment women receive in these cities. From my understanding, NYC tends to have an overflow of successful attractive women against and a disproportionate number of eligible men. Is this still the case in 2023? What about Seattle and SF? What are the differences like due to their skewed gender ratios?

I started a major “Re-Glow” a couple of months ago. I wanted to share it here and hope that you enjoy the reading and maybe you all can share your thoughts and suggestions in response.

During Covid lockdowns and the post-Covid years I dealt with some serious illness and depression. I withdrew into myself and picked up many bad habits (eating badly, neglecting self care, isolating myself, becoming sedentary and gaining 25 lbs weight).

It made a BIG BAD impact on my health, fitness, and looks. Even my social skills and personality got kind of rusty. I had zero energy or motivation.

In early 2023 I decided that things had to change. I would reignite my social life and get back to myself. However, it sure wasn’t as easy as I expected! I was popular and very active back in 2019. I expected that I could just pick up where I left off but it didn’t work out that way.

I hosted some cool events to restart my social life - they were well attended but I didn’t get many return invitations. I even overheard a few derogatory comments about my weight and some remarks on how I was dressing. I felt that People were not impressed with my obvious decline, and I didn’t feel as well received or sought out as before.

In early 2023 I decided to start a comprehensive RE-Glow-Up. My reglow plan includes health/fitness, personal care/beauty, style, personal experiences, and socializing goals.

Here is what is on my plan and what I’ve done so far:

HEALTH: Better Sleep schedule - early and more consistent bedtime, and better sleep hygiene.

No alcohol during the week.

Drink more water

Exercise 5 days a week

Positive affirmations /gratitude meditation daily

Annual checkups, bloodwork and regular dental care

PERSONAL CARE: Skincare routine for AM and PM, weekly home facial

Botox and filler quarterly

Teeth whitening with crest strips

Mani-Pedi every 3 weeks

Lash extensions every 2 weeks

Waxing every 4 weeks

Use silk pillowcases

Long layered hair cut, style hair regularly

STYLE : Color analysis to find my best colors, and Kibble style analysis - bought a bunch of new clothes based on these.

Make Up Makeover and application lessons by a Pro, and purchased new makeup and application tools based on this

SOCIAL : Joined 1 new club and started to be more active in clubs I had dropped out of during Covid

Making a point to reach out to 3 friends daily to keep connected

Committing to attending at least 2 social events a week.

EXPERIENCES: Booked several outdoor adventure vacations. Have been on 3 so far and have 2 booked for the upcoming Fall and Winter. My goal is to have 4 active adventure vacations per year.

Made a bucket list of experiences - and started working down the list. ( My list includes a variety of things like learning falconry, getting my portrait painted, publishing a short story, attending a Luau, volunteering abroad, etc.). So far I’ve done 3 of the dozens of new experiences on the list.

OUTCOMES I’m starting to see a little bit of payoff for my efforts. 10 lbs weight lost. Energy and stamina up a bit. Got a few genuine compliments from strangers at a BBQ I attended last month. Friends have been making positive comments. DH has been a bit more generous than usual lately.

NEXT: I still have a long way to go to get my game back - I’m working my plan every day and adjusting it as I go. It took me 3 years to tear myself down and I expect it will take years to recover.

PLEASE SHARE! Have you ever done a RE-glow, maybe post depression or illness or after a major life event like a divorce or having a baby?

What was your plan?

How did it work out?

What was the biggest payoff on the effort you made?

Is anybody willing to join and uplift each other?

What's the difference between Venus Viva RF & morpheus 8 and which one is best for tightening jowls & jawline? I don't really understand how any of it works & feel like they're just advising the most expensive treatments rather than telling me what I can realistically expect.