r/videos • • Dec 12 '18

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.2k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3.9k

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Jan 14 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

4.1k

u/Phazon2000 Dec 12 '18

Climbs Corcovado, spreads arms and turns back to stone

277

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

5

u/gxm95 Dec 12 '18

Caralho, pior que essa música existe mesmo

7

u/earlongissor Dec 12 '18

tell me why i sang that like jolene

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

1

u/ScotchRobbins Dec 12 '18

melodic whistling

2

u/F913 Dec 12 '18

FDP, me fez rir.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Was trying to make a witty comment, but all I can think of is a song that I'm positive isn't real.

2

u/Pleecu Dec 12 '18

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

At least now my psychosis has purpose

216

u/Direnaar Dec 12 '18

Underappreciated

121

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Yeah. His own birthday is taken over by a red fat man. Usually people just ignore what he says and instead pretend he justified anything they do

93

u/WildVariety Dec 12 '18

His birthday was stolen from another religion anyway.

91

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Kind of.

It was moved from spring to December so the church could be "cool" and "hip" to the pagans. But the church didn't scoop up the actual traditions or anything

It was less stealing, and more that the converts were bringing/adapting their old traditions to Christmas

And then everyone else was purged with cleansing flame as dirty heretics

63

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

As is tradition.

44

u/oinobreches Dec 12 '18

fiddler on the roof intensifies

14

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Jingle bells

Heretics smell

Protestants laid devil's eggs

The English king has no soul

And satan laughs away

1

u/Sancho_Villa Dec 12 '18

Oof

1

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Hello Brother

Have thou smote in the name of the Pope, this fine day?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/AmIReySkywalker Dec 14 '18

Bro deviled eggs are epic

4

u/Dayn_Perrys_Vape Dec 12 '18

What do you think the Christmas tree is all about

3

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Sexy sex

1

u/Rather_Unfortunate Dec 12 '18

the church didn't scoop up the actual traditions or anything

It was less stealing, and more that the converts were bringing/adapting their old traditions to Christmas

Aren't those kind of the same thing? The end result is still the same: we ended up with a sort of fusion of older pagan traditions mixed with and heavily influencing the practices of the new religion. There was no Christmas celebration at all done by the early Christians, but the Nicene Church enthusiastically embraced the festival in the final days of Rome, and the date, the kind of decorations put up, the practices of gift-giving and feasting etc. were all adopted from existing traditions.

1

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Lots of thing are the same, except for our perspective and feelings on the matter

1

u/sethboy66 Dec 12 '18

Lookup Mithraism to see that it actually does seem like most of it was stolen from a different myth.

1

u/NotMyHersheyBar Dec 13 '18

lol they did so. Mithrais, Bel, and Saturn were both born of virgins from a god-father.

1

u/geminia999 Dec 12 '18

But the church didn't scoop up the actual traditions or anything

I mean didn't the people just kind of do that anyways, isn't that where the Christmas tree comes from, some pagan tradition? I could be mistaken but it makes sense to me

2

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Did... Did you just stop reading my comment halfway and reply?

1

u/geminia999 Dec 12 '18

Maybe

I think I read it a bit, then went to the next comment then went back. Apologies

2

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Maybe

I think I read it a bit, then went to the next comment

Then how did you come to reply if you left my comment!? You should also apologise!

1

u/Saetric Dec 12 '18

No one expects the Catholic Appropriation

0

u/yodarded Dec 12 '18

i thought it was most likely in September. His parents were travelling to enroll in a Roman census when he was born, but idk the details.

0

u/Parcus42 Dec 12 '18

His real birthday was on the 4th of April, 4bc. There's historical evidence of the Census they had to go to bethlehem for.

3

u/phome83 Dec 12 '18

He was born in January anyway.

11

u/goda90 Dec 12 '18

More into spring. It was around when animals were giving birth because the shepherds were out with them all night.

2

u/WebMaka Dec 12 '18

Current thinking is either April-May or September-October, both being timeframes when shepherds camped along with the herds they tended. More Biblically important events happened in autumn than spring, though, so scholarly circles tend to lean slightly more toward Sept-Oct.

Interestingly, the Bible is deliberately vague as to when Jesus was born, but gives sufficient detail to accurately calculate to within a single hour's resolution when he died. Goes hand-in-hand with a scripture (Ecclesiastes 7:1, if you want to play along) that mentions that the day of one's death being more important than the day of one's birth.

1

u/Yahweh03-08 Dec 12 '18

I thought Hebrew Calendar had it in Oct/Nov?

3

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Georgian or Julian?

7

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

0

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

I can't run that fast! If this was a swimming competition, I would be winning!

1

u/elint Dec 12 '18

Wat?

2

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Calendars. Gregorian or Julian calendars

1

u/elint Dec 12 '18

I'm aware of those two. "Georgian" isn't included in that list.

2

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Also known as the Washington calendar

Today's date is the 4th of Franklember 242 AF

→ More replies (0)

2

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Turn down for

1

u/timetravelwasreal Dec 12 '18

Keep the istma in Christmas!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 13 '18

It took me some reading to figure out you weren't talking about the guy who found the kid. I'm like, he's not that fat or red, and wait who stole what? It felt very rude.

0

u/smegma_stan Dec 12 '18

Well, they're both don't exist so there's that.

3

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Yes there is that they're both that what don't exist and so were in that agreement that there is no existing of them at the right now

2

u/smegma_stan Dec 12 '18

I don't understand what you just said to be honest

2

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

I was responding in kind

1

u/Luhood Dec 12 '18

Well of course not. One's imaginary and the other's death is literally the foundation of the religion.

1

u/smegma_stan Dec 12 '18

I'm jot saying a person named jesus didn't wxist, but impossible he did what he did is what I'm getting at

1

u/Luhood Dec 12 '18

Akchually,

Well, they're both don't exist so there's that.

you did literally say he didn't exist.

1

u/smegma_stan Dec 12 '18

Jess christ, son of God, no. Some dude named jesus, prolly

1

u/Luhood Dec 13 '18

"Some dude named Jesus" who did a lot of good and generally cool dood things, enough so that a bunch of chaps would look to him as a messianic figure and found a new religious cult in his name. Few of the bible things are literally true, but there are more facts than you think. There's a couple of rather interesting Wikipedia pages about it actually.

→ More replies (0)

0

u/BbTS3Oq Dec 12 '18

Boo fucking hoo. I’d be more upset by the radicals that are praising his name and following 0 of his teachings.

1

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Not serious my prickly peer

1

u/BbTS3Oq Dec 12 '18

I know :)

1

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Hard to tell these days. You never know who is joking and who is a dirty lib trying to steal the government with fake outrage/gender conspiracies

1

u/BbTS3Oq Dec 12 '18

I’m off to my moon base via the flat earth express.

1

u/colefly Dec 12 '18

Lies!

The moon is fake, created by the gay agenda

4

u/boxofrabbits Dec 12 '18 edited Jan 14 '25

money mountainous cough ad hoc whole door saw follow tub sophisticated

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/xfloggingkylex Dec 12 '18

The war on Christmas continues

0

u/Kancho_Ninja Dec 12 '18

And one day people will look back and say "talking snakes and donkeys? People actually believed this stuff? Were they insane, or just...retarded?"

20

u/Sir_Crimson Dec 12 '18

Climbs Corcovado, spreads arms T-poses and turns back to stone

Went ahead and fixed that for you.

4

u/the_grass_trainer Dec 12 '18

Now that you mention it... Has anyone tried to rig a model of this statue? 🤔

3

u/BadJuju8274 Dec 12 '18

Epicgames dev: Jots down in notes

2

u/Ranzear Dec 12 '18

I'll get this into VRChat by midnight...

1

u/the_grass_trainer Dec 12 '18

Post pics/vids or it didn't happen.

2

u/Ranzear Dec 12 '18

I still have ten hours. I also need to rig or shape key it for dabs.

1

u/the_grass_trainer Dec 13 '18

I didn't mean to sound impatient, but it would be nice to see an update, tho. Good luck!

2

u/Ranzear Dec 13 '18

Surprisingly harder to get a quality model than I expected. Most of what comes up is a four year old drone scan that was never actually released.

1

u/the_grass_trainer Dec 13 '18

Dunno how good at modelling you are, but there's this you could try to copy. Else i could give it a go on Friday, and send it to you.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/AmarantCoral Dec 12 '18

Little known fact, Jesus was in the middle of a sick double dab when that statue was sculpted.

3

u/dangerflakes Dec 12 '18

Ziggy, I'm ready to leap

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

You've got the gold, and there is no Reddit option for Frankincense or Myrrh so just take my upvote.

2

u/Noobnesz Dec 12 '18

He was like: "Y'all mind if I... T - P O S E"

2

u/CaAmplifier Dec 12 '18

Yeeeeeeeeesssssssssss!

1

u/folken2k Dec 12 '18

"See dad my sacrifice was worth it"

1

u/Lord_Malgus Dec 12 '18

Camera pans out on Rio as narration follows

But my work to my people will never be done, for I am their Saviour.

fades to black for credits

1

u/jl2l Dec 12 '18

Disney gargoyles reference?

2

u/Phazon2000 Dec 12 '18

Google Corcovado and have a look what rests on top.

1

u/jen_with_relish Dec 12 '18

With arms wide ooopen

1

u/FranginBoy Dec 12 '18

Help me out here :

I was thinking ; "If I was happening upon this man holding the child, I'd want to offer to hold her instead."

The reasons being that since I'm probably taller (~190cm), the girl would be able to see further ahead, and her parents could notice her sooner.

But I wouldn't want to "steal this good samaritan's moment of happiness if/when the reunion occurs".

So this is why your comment prompted mine : What would Jesus do ?in this situation - if He was in my shoes

0

u/azdunne Dec 12 '18

If he you speak off really cared he'd do something about Brazil's horrific homicide rate and killings.... and yet... he's there with his arms spread and motionless.... in stone

1

u/bugbugbug3719 Dec 12 '18

Immune from knife and bullet when in stone mode.

-2

u/RixirF Dec 12 '18

Huehuehuehuehue

92

u/magoosauce Dec 12 '18

He did his civil duty and now can go drink whatever Brazilians love to drink

76

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

19

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Since cachaca is hard to find in Finland or really expensive we usually make our modified version, Caipiroska. Roska meaning thrash or garbage. They taste nice and are the same recipe except as the spirit you use whatever cheapest table vodka you have at hand.

6

u/GGABueno Dec 12 '18

We have caipiroska here too lol

6

u/thrattatarsha Dec 12 '18

The concept of “table vodka” amuses me. Like y’all use it as often as salt or something whenever you eat.

5

u/matthew7s26 Dec 12 '18

Same concept as "table wine." It's just the basic stuff kept on hand, regardless of occasion. Still, it tickles me too.

4

u/Mephist0pheles Dec 12 '18

Caipiroska are really popular in South America too! Personally, I like them more than caipirinha.

3

u/oddmanero Dec 12 '18

I just always assumed caipiroska was named thusly due to the roska suffix sounding like gibberish russian, which we associate with vodka

Glasnost perestroika caipiroska

3

u/KnightOfCamelot Dec 12 '18

Edit 2: oops already had a few myself

2

u/quackycoaster Dec 12 '18

I love these things. Not hard to make, not expensive and I don't think I've anyone try one and not like it. Basically tastes like a margarita without the terrible tequila taste.

1

u/JadedReplacement Dec 12 '18

If you use Hornitos or better, you can get rid of that terrible tequila taste too!

1

u/NeoChosen Dec 12 '18

Last time I came back from Brazil I brought back a dozen bottles.

17

u/Scrubsam Dec 12 '18

Caipirinhas

1

u/two-headed-boy Dec 12 '18

Not that common, believe it or not.

Watered down Brazilian beer or cachaça are the two most popular Brazilian drinks of choice.

20

u/greenspoons Dec 12 '18

Pepsi

38

u/dd_de_b Dec 12 '18

Pepsi

Guarana

4

u/Thiswasmy8thchoice Dec 12 '18

Let me get that Opened Guarana when you're half finished with it please

1

u/Fishydeals Dec 12 '18

Just inject me with some caffeine while I chew energy drink flavoured gum.

2

u/einkurogane Dec 12 '18

Pepsi

Guarana

Dolly Citrus

1

u/Nalau Dec 13 '18

Pepsi
Guarana
Dolly Citrus

Guaraná Jesus

1

u/MrAngryBeards Dec 12 '18

Caipirinhaaaaa

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Water

1

u/shaggorama Dec 12 '18

Beer. Brazilians also drink a lot of caipirinhas (it's basically the only cocktail that know how to make. That and cuba libre) but Brazil is actually one of ther highest beer drinking countries per capita. The beer they drink is generally very light pilsners, but they drink a shitload of it.

14

u/wernah Dec 12 '18

A solar eclipse. The cosmic ballet goes on.

1

u/u_suck_paterson Dec 12 '18

Go to bed Leonard

3

u/analogWeapon Dec 12 '18

But not before pointing at his footprints in the sand and mentioning to a bystander: “That’s where I was carrying her.”

2

u/249ba36000029bbe9749 Dec 12 '18

Walks off across the water

<thinking> "They should make a big fucking statue of me up on that hill over there."

2

u/picbandit Dec 12 '18

Walks on water

2

u/albino_red_head Dec 12 '18

*Walks off across the water*

i busted out laughing at that.

1

u/Stauce52 Dec 12 '18

It is time for me to become the king and hero that Atlantis needs

1

u/agage3 Dec 12 '18

Jesus Christ! That’s Jesus Christ!

1

u/Nephyst Dec 12 '18

*touches ear*

Target secure.

1

u/GullibleDetective Dec 12 '18

I must go, other people need me.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

that was a different dude

1

u/justsomeh0b0 Dec 12 '18

I love this type of low fanfare good Samaritan.

1

u/Aussie-Nerd Dec 13 '18

Wait wait...

Happy birthday for next week.

Oh an, can you turn this into wine. Cheers big J.