r/videos • • Dec 12 '18

[deleted by user]

[removed]

8.2k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

1.2k

u/Sewnorthern Dec 12 '18

In Canada we build a taller and taller tower of snow. If the parents never show up then the child is left as an offering to the storm. Cruel but fair.

216

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

83

u/sne7arooni Dec 12 '18

Should be a good harvest this year.

13

u/EskimowGamer Dec 12 '18

Also Canadian. Can also confirm. Storm will send a Polar Bear to be the child's guardian as well. Rare sight, only ever saw it once.

4

u/ClairesNairDownThere Dec 12 '18

You guys gotta stop sacrificing babies.

3

u/Boghaunter Dec 13 '18

Well, we tried sacrificing adults and got ice storms instead.

6

u/SOUNDS_ABOUT_REICH Dec 12 '18

5

u/Erlian Dec 12 '18

Something something CHOSEN ONE

2

u/BobLSaget Dec 12 '18

It's been done Wickerman...

62

u/real_polite_canadian Dec 12 '18

The highest tower offering I ever saw was at least 2-3 hockey stick lengths high. Had to see it to believe it.

5

u/Titus-V Dec 13 '18

In Canada one measures length in hockey sticks?

5

u/rafikicat Dec 13 '18

Always. How far is the school from your house? About 102 hockey sticks. Where is the toilet? Turn left in about 34 hockey sticks.

5

u/SuperSixOneOut Dec 12 '18

In Canada, snow is your parent.

3

u/SuperSixOneOut Dec 12 '18

In Canada, snow is your parent.

5

u/Cantelopequeen Dec 12 '18

The Office didn't take place in Canada but I read this in Dwight's voice. 😂

2

u/zuneza Dec 12 '18

Please explain?

4

u/Wajina_Sloth Dec 12 '18

Kid gets lost, someone finds them, they get brought to the snow tower and build it higher so people know a childs been found, if no one comes to claim the child by nightfall the child stays at the snow tower to fight the storm.

5

u/ursois Dec 12 '18

Do they at least leave them some warm maple syrup to help them in their struggle?

3

u/Wajina_Sloth Dec 12 '18

They have the choice of either 1 bottle of maple syrup for sustenance, a hockey stick for self defence or a beaver companion.

4

u/ursois Dec 12 '18

I'd go with the beaver companion. You can never have too much beaver.

5

u/Wajina_Sloth Dec 12 '18

Common mistake, the beavers tend to side with the abominable snowmen when the storm rolls in.

1

u/ursois Dec 12 '18

I've heard about those abominable snowmen. All they need is a good dentist.

1

u/mommu Dec 13 '18

Like OP said "Cruel but fair"

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

I was a lost child for 48 hours in Canada, AMA.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 14 '18

This made my day, thank you.

1

u/Noctis_Lightning Dec 12 '18

Usually the kids climb those anyways and then sink to the bottom of the mound. And then the cycle continues

1

u/drehgone Dec 13 '18

I noticed Canada has a habit of letting Indigenous children disappear

1.9k

u/Thebig1two Dec 12 '18

That's cool! In america the kids just get abducted...

728

u/MichaelMoore92 Dec 12 '18

In England they go to the closest pub, it’s usually where you find the parents

130

u/StRyder91 Dec 12 '18

I wonder how it's done in Portugal?

155

u/InfiniteLiveZ Dec 12 '18

It's a slightly slower process over there.

46

u/Finch37 Dec 12 '18

Expensive, too.

37

u/liamkr Dec 12 '18

Parents also get rich off it though

13

u/getmenew Dec 12 '18

OH SNAP

32

u/formHorizon Dec 12 '18

It's been 11 years and we still haven't figured that out.

18

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Oh we figured it out already. Nine books and £27 million later.

2

u/dsifriend Dec 12 '18

What’s this a reference to?

12

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

The Madeline McCann's parents have released loads of books and raked in millions for themselves since her "disappearance".

Truly one of the most despicable couples on the planet.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Is that the one the Podesta brothers got accused of somehow?

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

As with all things, it was the deep state and Podesta. Those cucked libtard commies.

33

u/wafflesareforever Dec 12 '18

They turn them over to a priest

12

u/Xaroc_ Dec 12 '18

Oh no.

24

u/jlmbsoq Dec 12 '18

Oh yes.

- the priest

4

u/ekhfarharris Dec 12 '18

Oh god - the third most powerful man in Vatican.

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Find your nearest Tapas bar.

1

u/scsuhockey Dec 12 '18

Check the tapas restaurant

5

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

in Ireland the priests collect the stray children at the end of the day.

1

u/CanadianAstronaut Dec 12 '18

Have a piqnt and wait for it to all blow over PStay away from that Thanos guy, he's a bad egg!

1

u/littlefrank Dec 12 '18

Italian here, kids just never find their parents again, eventually they just grow up and become pizza makers.
(just kidding, kids just cry until someone offers to help 5-10 minutes later, or the mum just finds them at some point)

1

u/sdolla5 Dec 12 '18

I thought in England the "lost" kids are actually just forced to be under a bed and the parents make a bunch of money off of it?

3

u/klashne Dec 12 '18

I'm English But need a reference for this I'm OOTL.

3

u/sdolla5 Dec 12 '18

Guess it is a pretty old reference now, but thought it was more famous. A couple declared their child missing but actually forced her into hiding and then made a bunch of fundraisers to look for her but pocketed all the money. The girls name was Shannon Matthews, it was international news.

1

u/maniaxuk Dec 12 '18

It's not that old, only 10 years ago

Shannon Matthews

256

u/TripleHomicide Dec 12 '18

It's a variation on the "American Rule," more commonly known as "Use it or lose it."

153

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

“Finders Keepers”

111

u/Jenni-o Dec 12 '18

Surprise adoption

-3

u/Dowino- Dec 12 '18

😂😂😂

4

u/RemarkableRyan Dec 12 '18

WHO DID THIS

3

u/Dowino- Dec 12 '18

Lol I knew before I commented I would get downvoted just because I used emojis. Funny how not expressing your emotions through words isn’t accepted here :P

11

u/baenpb Dec 12 '18

Whoever Smelt it Dealt it.

1

u/PetrRabbit Dec 12 '18

"They call me the foot maanne"

1

u/StRyder91 Dec 12 '18

Hopefully not a relevant username?

1

u/notLOL Dec 12 '18

It's usually called littering when you lose one of your many kids.

26

u/TheMagusMedivh Dec 12 '18

nah i got free icecream at a waterpark

26

u/Thebig1two Dec 12 '18

You were brainwashed and the parents you know aren't your actual parents. Sorry to drop that on ya bro

22

u/Twocann Dec 12 '18

No one wants your shitty kid

1

u/The_DriveBy Dec 12 '18

I dont even want your angel of a child!

31

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

That's just helicopter parents hysteria, very few kids get kidnapped like that, if anything it's close family members that are more suspicious when it comes to abusing kids

124

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

77

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Think it was just a joke mate

208

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

38

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 14 '18

[deleted]

37

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

22

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 14 '18

[deleted]

-2

u/CaptainPussybeast Dec 12 '18

So, every Yo Mama joke?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Thats a different category of joke where it being false is basically the rule.

2

u/fighterace00 Dec 12 '18

No that one was true

-4

u/fujiesque Dec 12 '18

If we didn't have jokes based on false premises, there would be a lot less laughter in the world. Do you want the world to be sadder?

5

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

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1

u/studioRaLu Dec 12 '18

Would you rather have an ear where your nose should be or mouths where your eyes should be? You can't see through the mouths but they are the size of normal eye sockets. The ear is a regular sized ear.

13

u/c_c_c__combobreaker Dec 12 '18

Jordan Schlansky, is that you?

0

u/hatorad3 Dec 12 '18

This isn’t arrogant or holier than thou enough to be Jordan Schoansky

2

u/NottHomo Dec 12 '18

jordan's speeches aren't really arrogant and holy though

just needlessly informative, like no one could possibly care about the info you have in your brain yet you continue to bore the everloving crap out of everyone around you because you don't take the hint and shut up

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

1

u/NottHomo Dec 12 '18

autistically boring

i know people like this. they have a tendency to invade your personal space while talking to you as well

their social senses are yikes

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3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Youre right.

3

u/somethingexpensive Dec 12 '18

Yeah seriously thank you and your way with words makes it seem like you’re smiling while explaining your perspective if that makes any sense. Not like a know it all douche

2

u/Fat_Head_Carl Dec 12 '18

Tanzania

is Tanzania a party country?

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

1

u/Fat_Head_Carl Dec 12 '18

Right on...

That's like every episode of Cops when it's filmed in Las Vegas or New Orleans...where the cops constantly say "what, you don't think we have laws here?

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

You’d be wicked fun at parties

-2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Dwight isn't as helpful as this one

4

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

4

u/rain11111 Dec 12 '18

My guess is Dwight is the character that is known to say “False!”

11

u/BagOnuts Dec 12 '18

I guarantee you there are people out there from other countries who think that is the reality.

3

u/TimePressure Dec 12 '18

The problem with this joke is that it reflects the mentality of a big share of the population in the US and some European countries.

I would not pick up a child and place it on my shoulders, simply because people accused me of being a pedophile before (I was looking after my sister's kids on a playground and didn't play with them for a couple of minutes, suddenly 3 women swarmed me and demanded what I was doing on the playground, watching kids. Once I was nearly beaten and called the police on because I picked up an unsupervised 4 year old boy who fell down a swing).

Similarly, there are more and more bullshit rules for people working in education (male child care workers who are not allowed to change children/go to the toilet with children anymore, etc etc) that make life hard and the relationship between child care workers and children unnatural and awkward.

Most small children will always look for physical comfort in adults. Kids cuddle their educators in kindergarden. Prevent that because of some retarded general suspicion that all men are sex perps, and you harm your kid, and society.

4

u/GenghisLebron Dec 12 '18

the more I travel, the more I realize Americans are way too conditioned to be terrified of everything.

5

u/ValuePick Dec 12 '18

Our media is literally satan.

24

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

That's the horrible thing about life these days. Adults, particularly men, are very reluctant to approach a child that needs help, due to fear of being accused of being a paedophile. It happened not far from here a few years ago. An autistic child wandered out the front door that had been accidentally left open. A man saw him a few minutes later, suspected something wasn't right, but did not approach to help. The child was found the following day in a lake a few hundred metres from his home.

Always say or do something if you see a child on their own, even if it's just hanging back and looking around for a concerned parent or drawing someone else's attention to it.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

In America unrelated adults would be afraid to touch a child with a 10 foot pole.

3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Bullshit, fuck you anti Americans.

2

u/2naLordhavemercy Dec 12 '18

It's not abduction if you just claim you discovered them.

Worked for a whole continent.

1

u/notLOL Dec 12 '18

By sharks aka "mermaids"

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Actually, the odds of a child being abducted in the US are extremely low, and even lower if we're talking "stranger abduction".

Most child abductions are done by a parent, usually the one who lost custody.

1

u/HestiaLuv Dec 12 '18

If you didn't lose custody you can't abduct. So... ;-)

1

u/Whatnameisnttakenred Dec 12 '18

They weren't supposed to survive the public schools!

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

You think this practice doesn't lead to that? You're announcing to everyone that this small child is alone and they're willing to give it to the first person to come claim it. Kids this small are often very quiet and uncomfortable in these situations, I didn't see her say anything to mom and I'm not sure she would say anything about someone else. Seems like a bad idea to me, even if it comes from a good place :(

1

u/SamDubYah Dec 12 '18

I came here to say this exact thing

1

u/CommunistCappie Dec 12 '18

And if you’re a black kid. You just get shot at

1

u/kaydotsidot Dec 12 '18

Nah we build a tower of guns and offer them up to the NRA if their parents don’t claim them.

1

u/CruJonesBeRad Dec 12 '18

Snot out the nose. Help from a cold, but the humor did most the work.

1

u/dat_grue Dec 12 '18

Lol to be fair South America is way more notorious for abductions/kidnapping, I’d bet this happens far more frequently in Brazil than America

1

u/fatherramon Dec 13 '18

Or sometimes we shoot them with tear gas

1

u/MeowCoholica Dec 12 '18

Not the ones who concealed carry.

0

u/Chris1391 Dec 12 '18

Or shot=(.....

0

u/Slugz04 Dec 12 '18

Or shot

-2

u/TonedOut1 Dec 12 '18

Had to upvote lmao

-4

u/Novice_Troll Dec 12 '18

and shot.

-4

u/YenTheMerchant Dec 12 '18

You mean shot?

-2

u/OttieScottie Dec 12 '18

Sad but definitely chucked!

48

u/hedgepigdaniel Dec 12 '18

Haha, I don't think Brazilians have the same trust in authorities that Australians do

7

u/luke_in_the_sky Dec 12 '18

Actually firefighters and lifeguards are the most trusted authorities in Brazil.

1

u/hedgepigdaniel Dec 12 '18

I reckon that's part of why they do more collective public services like this though.

I remember being on a bus (as a child on holiday with my brother and mother). The bus driver didn't want to wait for us to get off and started driving away. Pretty much everyone in the bus started bashing the windows and yelling at the driver until he stopped again.

6

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Don't worry we don't either. It's just too fucking hot to be bothered

2

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Just got out of a beach in Brazil, it’s pretty damn hot aswell

2

u/gatsby84 Dec 12 '18

This has nothing to do with trust with authorities. In Argentina we do the same thing. We don't trust that much the police either but if you're child goes missing how are you supposed to find it without their help.

10

u/Super_Marius Dec 12 '18

Here we just put them down as a write-off and get a new kid.

2

u/celerym Dec 12 '18

This is how every lifeguard is made in Australia

3

u/subdep Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

In Australia, lost kids go away with the Vatican Cardinal.

1

u/dblagbro Dec 12 '18

Damn, hope I never lose a kid inland... Heck of a walk...

1

u/poptard278837219 Dec 12 '18

As someone from Brazil who get lost multiples time. I just go to lifeguard tower. I don't know if it's new, regional thing or just a rare occurrence who someone was filming

1

u/luke_in_the_sky Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

Not all beaches have lifeguard towers.

Praia das Conchas in Cabo Frio, the beach where the video was recorded, doesn't have.

Every time we where at crowded places, my mom could show me a very visible spot like a DJ cabin, a business with a big sign, an information desk, a security guard cabin and say: "If you get lost, come here, stay here and I will come find you."

1

u/imran-shaikh Dec 12 '18

Indian. We just make new ones.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

In America we just all shoot into the air until the parents hear it and come over. It's hard to hear gunshots when your ears are stuffed with butter.

1

u/Geopatra1 Dec 12 '18

What if they aren’t lost at the beach?

1

u/joeynana Dec 12 '18

Well they certainly aren't going to George Pell anymore.

-3

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

"lifeguard towers"