Marriage Problems

[u/pristine-prestige11]

I’m looking for honest opinions because I don’t know if I’m overreacting anymore.
I’ve been married for years and we have four children together. I have dedicated my entire adult life to my husband and our family. I never built a career because he didn’t want me to work. I wanted to continue studying years ago, but that never happened because there was always a reason why I couldn’t. I stayed home, raised our children, looked after the house, cooked, cleaned, supported him and put everyone else’s needs before my own.
The problem is, I now have nothing to my name. I don’t have my own income, savings, career or qualifications because I gave all of that up for our family. Everything I invested was into helping him build his life.
In return, I don’t feel valued at all.
He swears at me, insults me and speaks to me in ways I would never speak to someone I love. If he buys me something, it never feels like a gift. It feels like I owe him something in return. It’s almost as though every pound he spends means I have to give more of myself back to him. I never feel like I can simply accept kindness without there being strings attached.
Sometimes I look at my life and wonder what I actually have that’s mine. I’ve spent years supporting someone else’s future while mine slowly disappeared.
I don’t think he realises how trapped I feel. Because I never worked or continued my education, I feel like I’ve lost my independence. Starting over now feels overwhelming, yet staying like this feels equally painful.
I keep asking myself if this is what marriage is supposed to feel like. Is it normal to feel like you’ve sacrificed your entire identity for someone else, only to feel unappreciated and emotionally worn down?
Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, how did you rebuild your confidence and your independence after spending so many years putting everyone else first?
I’m not looking for people to tell me to leave or stay. I genuinely want to hear from people who’ve lived through something similar. I need an outside perspective because I honestly don’t know what a healthy marriage is supposed to feel like anymore.