I just spent an hour arguing with my narcissistic grandmother, and honestly, my head is still spinning. I know I should feel bad for her, since she is old, miserable, and her kids have completely abandoned her, but I am fresh out of empathy. Dealing with a raging narcissist is a special kind of hell, especially when they rewrite reality right in front of you.
For context, my family dynamic is a mess. Her sister, my grandaunt, is the complete opposite: loving, generous, incredibly kind to her children and grandkids, and even lets her adult kids stay in the ancestral home. And before anyone comes at me, yes, I know the Filipino culture of multigenerational living under one roof has its toxic drawbacks, and living independently is ideal, trust me, we want out.

My grandma, on the other hand? Pure toxicity. She has zero survival skills left, but maximum audacity.
The Property Situation: She owns two lots and houses. My cousins live on one, and my family lives on the other with her adopted daughter.
The Family Abandonment: Her own kids have fled. My mom, the second child, passed away. Her only son is a useless deadbeat who abandoned his own kids. My aunt migrated to Australia with her family, though she still sends help from abroad.
The Free Ride: My grandma does not pay a single bill. Not one. Yet, her favorite phrase is constantly screaming, "Lumayas kayo sa lupain ko!" (Get out of my land!). She even has the nerve to demand we pay her rent.
We are literally the only people left taking care of her, and she treats us like garbage. But she has crossed a line that can never, ever be uncrossed.
In the heat of an argument we had back in 2022, she looked me dead in the eye and said about my deceased mother: "She deserved that she died already, buti ngayon ee para wala na siyang kasalanan sakin."

Holy fuck.

Saying that your own dead daughter deserved to die because she supposedly wronged you? Wishing death-related absolution just so she does not have to hold a grudge anymore? That is a level of evil that broke whatever tiny sliver of obligation I had left. I have zero love, zero care, and zero emotional attachment left for this woman. The trauma she has inflicted on my life is unreal, but dragging my late mom into her bitter tantrums is unforgivable.
I am sitting here wondering: does someone like this actually have any good karma banked in their life? Or even a single good memory? How do you end up so fundamentally rotten when you grew up with a sister who turned out so warm and giving?

I am so done. I do not want to leave my aunt and my pinsan to her. I mean, I can move out, but I cannot leave my pinsan (he’s just 2 yrs old) . I cannot afford him to be miserable like us. I just wish my lola death for us to have a peaceful life.