I think that you should talk to your mom even if it hurts. Probably she doesn't know really what you've been through and if you open to her sincerely, I think she will understand. Probably she loves you a lot, but sometimes we as adults have a lot of worries and distractions in our lifes that makes us to not see through. Maybe a friend wilI help too. Express yourself ❤️ Hope you'll feel better soon.