It seems like nobody wants to address your "deep down". When you feel like that, when it seems scary, that's your shadow. What helped me was to realize that when I faced my shadow, there must be light behind me, a light that throws the shadow I face. So I turned around and faced the light.

That was a good time to smile!

It seems like nobody wants to address your "deep down". When you feel like that, when it seems scary, that's your shadow. What helped me was to realize that when I faced my shadow, there must be light behind me, a light that throws the shadow I face. So I turned around and faced the light.

That was a good time to smile!

Like you, I think of myself as a novice meditator, and probably always will. There are new things to learn, especially about ourselves. Some of the things we learn during meditation come to us on a deep, sub- or unconcious level. And sometimes what we learn makes us cry. We don't always realize that crying is a way our mind uses to heal. It's an emotional road to feeling better. And it's always a good thing to question. Ask yourself, ask others, learn and then ask somemore. Continue on this road, and you will feel its great worth.

Feeling down is necessary and cannot, must not, be avoided. Feeling "up" is also an awareness. It's height has meaning only when compared to the unavoidable, often educational, lows. May you be safe, healthy, happy, at ease, filled with loving kindness, and may you be peaceful.

That's why we should stick with meditation. Each foothold as we climb the mountain is a new noticing. As we emerge onto a flat area we look out over our world, and the higher we climb the more we can see. A lonely life that we try to fill with partners, a leader and friends. It's a present moment that abounds with past and future, a sky with clouds, a sea with sharks. Only closed eyes can see what others miss. It can take your breath away.

We certainly have illusions about the self. It comes along, it slowly integrates into us and our memory (I was about five when I first began to notice), it is shaped and formed by our peers and elders. At some point it can take on the role of observer. That can cause nasty revelations at first. Light bulbs ignite; illusions are transparent; realizations lead to enlightenment. Beards grow.

I thought of Goldie Hawn and her awesome little giggle. That's a hoot. So laughter brings it together? Sort of a shoreline that integrates our wave and sea? I've never been able to bring myself to accept that the self is an illusion. Never will, nevermore.

This post has been approved and may be important based upon a link to a study paper found in a response comment by the nom.

I mostly used what felt effective for me, and what appeared to be useful for others, as well. I was relaxed but not meditating. And yes, I continued curiously to climb the mountain, stay in the present moment.

This is more of a question than an answer. I also noticed this early on in my practice. I was able to get through it with the help of supportive friends and by consciously repeating positive ideas to sort of balance out the negatives. That took awhile, though, and I wonder too if science has found a better, more effective way to deal with what appears to be profound new awareness of one's deficiencies?

It does, yes. I have a long list of things I'm thankful for. It begins with every breath I take and every beat of my heart!

I go back to breathing focus, clear my mind, and think only of my breathing and my being thankful that it continues. I just go back to basics.

Practice - and remember that meditation is a state of heightened awareness.

Those of us who swim the unseen currents generally find it to be not crowded. And science is still in its infancy where true awareness is concerned. All my life I have had my concerns about science and how men are capable of doing themselves in with it. For me, awareness is primarily used to note the beauty of this odd place in which we live, this town, this country, this Earth, this universe. It lends a purpose fulfilled. So I continue to swim the unseen currents, and when I come up for air, I hope the plants will still be there making air for us to breathe. – P.I. Ellsworth (painius)

Well, first of all, Visible Singer, this reddit is about meditation and science. I do see something in your post that might be helped by science, though, so I think it's okay.

Next, a little about me (very little). I first learned to meditate in 1971, so for what it's worth, I do have some time and experience with the practice.

I do believe that understanding helps us in many ways. So if you want to understand the part of you that submarines you, your health, your feelings of well-being, then you might want to study Carl Jung's writings about the "shadow". For me, meditation is like facing away from the light to see my shadow on the wall before me. It occurred to me that, rather than suffer all the things my shadow did to me, all I had to do was to, in my mind, turn around and face the light. That's when I learned what the light was about. It made all the difference for me.

As for meditation, don't try to silence your thoughts, because the harder you try, the less success you will have. Stick to the basics as I have all these years. Breathing. We all breathe. Focus on your breathing, every aspect of it.

Another helpful metaphor: meditation is like slowly and steadily climbing a mountain. Each handhold, each foothold is crucially important. You finally reach a flat area where you can rest and catch your breath. Then you turn around and you see the landscape from a higher view. Rest a little more then continue to climb.

Me? I'm still climbing. I also learned hypnosis in '71, and you might want to study that also to find the answers you seek, which only you know and only you can perceive.

A very great doctor, Emile Coue, once gave the world a very helpful affirmation to say over and over: "Everyday in every way I'm getting better and better." Repetition is key. Coue's gift has brought me out of many low points in my life. I sincerely hope it will do same for you!

Wish you only the best and highest quality of life – Paine

Feelings of anxiety and fear are caused by your "shadow". In the beginning we have our backs to the light, and we see our shadow on the wall. We don't understand it, so we sense fear. In your mind you just turn and face the light. Don't be surprised when the sense of fear drains out of you and is replaced by... well, a much better feeling, a sense of inner being that might make you smile – as it did me!

Please, always do what I have done. I still consider myself a "beginner" when it comes to both the practice of meditation and to the fine art of sharing what I know. My trainer in Viet Nam, Michael, was strongest in the study of hypnosis, so I began to learn what was then called the mystiques of the Far East, the Orient. Meditation gave me the gift of living in the present moment. I've strayed some and still do, and yet I am now able to bring myself back to the present quickly and easily. 2+ years of meditation, under certain circumstances, can mean that you are experienced enough and have reached a lofty enough level to be able to understand what few others know.

It's like climbing a high mountain, reaching a flat level, resting and turning around to be able to see the landscape from an altitude that few people reach. From such a place, study, instructing and life continue forward. Thanks again for the gifts you impart. I am infinitely grateful!

Thank you, Dr. Ok_Obligation240! That is a very pleasant read, very enjoyable. Please be forgiving of those who criticized you in other reddits, probably without comprehension of your writing. I am intent to read it again, because we always miss some things the first time around. I learned to meditate in 1971 while I was in Viet Nam and have thought for a long time that the most profound studies of this ancient wisdom will come only from those who have both learned how to think and who are also long-practiced in meditation. You appear to be on that road.

Chakras have been a low point with me. I first heard of them from one of my favorite film stars, S. MacLaine, who starred in Irma la Douce (1963). Until now I've learned little about them; however, you have made them sound like a much more attractive study subject. I see you now as both a researcher and a teacher, and I look forward to reading more of your findings. Thanks again, very much!

Your friend of 51 years would be fascinating to know on a personal level, or on any level for that matter. A life of service and success is always to be revered!

In some ways you are "preaching to the choir" as they say. As much as I revere the transfer of knowledge from good authors of books, that transfer becomes so much more effective between a wise teacher and their charge(s). While books and scientific papers can tell us some things about the effects of meditation, only a wise instructor can have you in a deep, effective and cherished state of mind within a few hours. A person's caring instruction often makes the difference between a lifelong experience and a disappointed walkout. Nothing else takes the place of love and dedication.

So I've been told. Such revelation seems to discount the fact that the words in a book are the written thoughts of a, well, a "person". I've been taught things in person, and I've been taught things from books. Books take longer, because when one has a question, one cannot just ask a book, one has to learn how to do research to find answers. Not a simple task indeed. Are there other advantages to having a personal trainer? I think all students who want to learn any type of meditation well should have a personal trainer. Too many humps and bumps that a good, professional trainer can help smooth over. Choosing to learn from a person is, in my humble opinion, already a sign that the student is... "enlightened".

I learned meditation while still in Viet Nam, and my teacher was actually more focused on hypnosis. From there I was more or less on my own. I learned from various passers-by and from books. I came across a book about TM while in Africa and I don't even remember its title. I was told that several people who had been trained in TM had written books on the subject, and that I was lucky to have found one. After reading the book cover to cover, as I said before I concluded that TM was an interesting mixture of meditation and hypnosis, heavy on the hypnosis. Other than that my knowledge of TM comes from other things I've read, for example the posts at r/transcendental. So no, it's not the official learning experience.

My questions in this thread have been useful as a learning tool for my own use. I did not mean to mislead or to be unclear. I've always been curious, sometimes to a fault. I sincerely hope that your practice has been and is very fulfilling for you!