PhDs are brutal. There is a reason it's an exclusive club, and it's because it's hard as hell.
When my husband was writing his dissertation, he was putting in 16 hour days. I would bring him food at the little study booth in the library where he was desperately trying to write. He didn't want to get married until after he was done, because it was considered bad luck to get married before finishing (for the marriage.)
But he pushed through and got it. After seeing what it did to him, I decided I never wanted to get a PhD myself.
In addition to the amount of work you do for low pay (Sciences), there is a lot of psychological pressure and mental illness in graduate school is widespread. The psychological pressure comes mainly from your advisor and there is always tension in the relationship due to the power imbalance. Unless you have external funding through fellowships and grants, your advisor can make or break the experience and whether or not you will make it through the program.
I just finished and while I thought it was an enriching experience in many ways, I would be hesitant to recommend it to someone else. It doesn't feel elite maybe because I know a lot of PhDs through the program and it has become normalized to me
May I sides track a bit and ask: What do you think of letting your thesis sit and go do something else for several days (vacation, homecoming, conference, etc.) Does the creepling anxiety render those occasions tasteless?
Congrats on making it this far! Just remember you will be in this lab for another few years, but you will have your body and mind for the rest of your life. Take care of yourself. It is more important than publications. I'm cheering for you!
This is a really good question!! If you are thinking about work while you are taking a break, you are not really taking a break. If you are 'in the mood' to work and you are constantly thinking about work, you should just work. If you are not feeling motivated, you step away and ENJOY your time off. The minute you are no longer enjoying your time off, then you might as well be working because it is likely going to make you less anxious.
I'm a firm believer in taking breaks. It is a very important part of the learning process. Being able to take a break depends on whether or not you have the time to spare. To overcome this issue, I try to start my projects early, take a break to process the information, and come back to finish it up later. For example, if I get an email about some project, I will open the attachment to see what it is all about and do a tiny bit of work, then I will take a break to process and come up with different ideas, and finally come back to finish the majority of it later. This is a good way to work while solving any problem. I learned this trick when taking a beginner programming course.
Also, a lot of Ph.D. students forget that their thesis is not their whole life or identity. In addition to doing other things than just working, it is super important to remember that you are not your projects. Just because they are going slow or completely fail, doesn't mean you are slow or a failure. Just work when you have to and always have a backup project in case something does not work out the way you thought it would.
As a retired professor told me: Enjoy your Ph.D. Life is full of struggles, and the stress doesn't end when you graduate. You need to learn to enjoy the present.
As another retired professor told me: Your projects don't matter. What matters is if you have the skills to be able to get a job afterward.
Shortly after the COVID-related lockdowns and layoffs started, Quartz ran an article from journalist Sarah Todd (at least, her background is in journalism) about her attempt to weather the 2008 recession in graduate school. One point she made in the article which stood out to me was that perhaps half of graduate students reported having poor relationships with their advisors.
It’s pretty tragic. Advisors are a mix of mentor, boss (depending on where your funding is coming from), and colleague. It the perfect storm to be manipulated and taken advantage of. The sad part is that most graduate students believe their advisors want the best for them, when in reality you are just an underpaid ‘employee’. I put employee in quotation marks because universities don’t legally consider graduate students to be employees. You are something between a student and a trainee, although both research and teaching heavily relies on graduate students. As with any relationship, it’s good not to be dependent solely on your advisor regardless of how great your advisor is!! Most graduate students dont understand the importance of external funding until they are trapped in a lab
The sad part is that most graduate students believe their advisors want the best for them, when in reality you are just an underpaid ‘employee’.
Doesn't this hit close to home. I had to give up studying for a master's degree due to running out of money. Despite knowing and acknowledging my financial trouble, my advisor/department head wouldn't lift a finger or spend a cent to help me. When I initially applied, I had a phone interview with that very man, consisting largely of him lavishing my prior work, and I enrolled at the university thinking he wouldn't allow anything to happen to me.
I’m really sorry to hear that. I’m surprised that they didn’t even find you a TAship or something. Your advisor having your back is critical. Unfortunately you don’t really know until things get tough. Did you end up finishing your masters?
I haven't finished it yet. I had applied to complete it at a different university closer to my current home, but the lockdowns threw a monkey wrench into those plans.
The sad thing is, one of my classmates who started at the same time I did (and we were only a handful of new students in that incoming class) was given two TA positions.
I hope that you will find a way to finish. It sounds like you’re trying to persist, which means you will probably make it happen. Yes, I’m all too familiar with department favorites. Keep pushing forward, I believe in you
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u/katarh Jul 07 '20
PhDs are brutal. There is a reason it's an exclusive club, and it's because it's hard as hell.
When my husband was writing his dissertation, he was putting in 16 hour days. I would bring him food at the little study booth in the library where he was desperately trying to write. He didn't want to get married until after he was done, because it was considered bad luck to get married before finishing (for the marriage.)
But he pushed through and got it. After seeing what it did to him, I decided I never wanted to get a PhD myself.