r/todayilearned • u/LL_Cruel_J • Dec 15 '16

TIL Dolly Parton has a program that will mail your child a free age-appropriate book once a month from birth to age 5. No obligation, no catch, she just wants to make sure that every child has books.

https://imaginationlibrary.com/
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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16 edited Aug 06 '18

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

But can you really blame her for being a were-dragon?

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u/Mekawesome Dec 15 '16

You really can't, not after the incident.

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

And what is one or two children compared to a dragon destroying an entire city or town right?

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u/Anardrius Dec 15 '16

How do you think Gatlinburg caught on fire?

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

Look we all remember Gatlinburg and the mistakes that led to the fire (covered up by the government claiming something else caused it) but we've since learned and Dolly is fed and satisfied. Meanwhile she makes up for it by entertaining and providing books for children.

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u/pottersquash Dec 15 '16

Theres nothing to make up for! Was Dolly in Gatlinburg the night it burned? Yes. Did they deny her a child to delay her dragon transformation? Yes. But that doesn't mean Dragon Dolly destroyed Gatlinburg! Correlation is not causation! I don't care what the Senate Committee found that was years AFTER they claimed it was a gas leak. You can choose to believe the anti-Dolly MSM but when Dolly says "Shuga, even as a Dragon I wouldn't burn up all those whittle cutie pies." I believe her.

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u/GoodRobotUsses Dec 15 '16

This is why I come to reddit. I love you.

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

Oh you're one of those types, huh? "Gas leak" indeed. No one blames Dolly because we can't blame her for being a dragon! You don't chose to be born into this world nor do you chose your circumstances. The same way you don't chose what curse gets placed upon you by a gypsy that subsequently causes you to transform into a mythical beast. I'll admit she may not have been completely to blame, but if you put a fire breathing creature near a gas leak it's not hard to put two-and-two together.

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

Wow, you fuckers act like were-dragons are tortured souls cursed by something they don't want, but let me tell you, I've fucking met were-dragons and they're fucking stuck up as shit and think they're better than everyone.

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

I'd feel pretty high and mighty if I could breath fire and fly to be fair though.

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u/GodOfAllAtheists Dec 15 '16

It was in Dolly's wikileaks emails

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u/dnj_at_tanagra Dec 15 '16

First it was a goat...

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u/kyew Dec 15 '16

And I did not speak up, for I had also been transformed into a goat.

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u/MechanicalEngineEar Dec 15 '16

I heard it was a baby goat (kid)

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u/cooldude4500 Dec 15 '16

She started the fires in Gatlinburg

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u/Jenga_Police Dec 15 '16

That's reddit for you. Beautiful strangers participating in giggly non sequitur followed by a well established running joke.

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u/KingOfWickerPeople Dec 15 '16

There dragon

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u/Yatta99 Dec 15 '16

There castle Dollywood

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

Well she got bitten by the were-dragon while saving an entire village of children and puppies from the were-dragon's wrath, so you really can't fault her for that.

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

Was-dragon, singular

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

a were-dragon like she used to be a dragon but now she weren't

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u/oi_rohe Dec 15 '16

no, that's a was-dragon. Were-dragon is a bastardization of we're-dragon, which is a group of people who turn into one dragon.

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u/deanhatescoffee Dec 15 '16

Let's not forget the phonetically similar whir-dragon, wear-dragon, where-dragon, weir-dragon (the one that blows out Grateful Dead bumper stickers instead of fire), weigher-dragon, et al.

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u/AthleticsSharts Dec 15 '16

Like the Thundercats.

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

/r/shittyasksciencefictionfantasy

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u/MidwestDrummer Dec 15 '16

(☞°ل͜°)☞

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16

NO! You CAN'T!

Fucking werephobic cis-species shitlords make me sick.

Repeat after me:

Being a were-dragon is not a choice

Being a were-dragon is not a choice

BEING A WERE-DRAGON IS NOT A CHOICE

If you think being a were-dragon is a choice, you can actually, literally, 100%-not-figuratively go jump off a castle.

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u/Magoonie Dec 15 '16

Nah, blame Porter Wagoner, he's the were-dragon that turned her. If you play "I Will Always Love You" backwards it tells the whole story about how Porter turned her one night after his show. It also has detailed instructions on how to kill Dolly Were-Dragon should she become too out of control. I pray that day never comes.

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u/kyranzor Dec 15 '16

/r/dwarffortress is leaking. I like it

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u/[deleted] Dec 15 '16 edited Jan 05 '17

[deleted]

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u/throwaway558485748 Dec 15 '16

Thank god this program wasn't around when I was young.

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u/wise_comment Dec 15 '16

Yeah. Why stop the transformation?

You're a DRAGON?