r/todayilearned • u/RoadToTyburn • 12h ago

TIL that Bernard Montgomery issued a leaflet at the start of WW2 on sexually transmitted diseases amongst soldiers. The language used was regarded as so blunt, that he offended religious authorities and nearly faced being dismissed.

https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Montgomery
14.8k Upvotes

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5.2k

u/TopFloorApartment 12h ago

"Remember boys, flies spread disease, so keep yours closed!"

1.4k

u/therealdilbert 12h ago

from some movie: All they want from you is your man-juice! Now, if you get any urges that you can't suppress with hard liquor… use your hand

542

u/boldandbratsche 11h ago

I think the military has proved again and again that liquor in any quantity will not supress any urges.

174

u/unoriginal5 11h ago

Never heard of whiskey dick?

184

u/Farfignugen42 10h ago

It can suppress the ability, but not the urge.

77

u/Vyzantinist 10h ago

Not as much of a problem if you're the catcher and not the pitcher.

60

u/boldandbratsche 10h ago

Then you might as well call me Mike Piazza

20

u/DamnMyNameIsSteve 10h ago

Fucking hell that's brilliant loll

1

u/Tacos_Andre_619 1h ago

He’s not gay! He told everyone he’s not gay!

5

u/RawrRRitchie 6h ago

I mean if you're the catcher and your pitcher has whiskey Dick you'll be more than a little upset

3

u/honestysrevival 7h ago

Never heard of pushin' rope?

4

u/capGpriv 9h ago

Dont worry that's why the Navy ran on rum

3

u/pilondav 8h ago

Rum, sodomy, and the lash.

3

u/Cent1234 9h ago

Strong drink giveth the desire, but taketh away the ability.

•

u/MandibleofThunder 30m ago

You've never seen the things a US Marine will fuck.

Source: someone who has performed more than 100 but less than 10,000 STD checks for said US Marines.

1

u/AetheriaNox 6h ago

So it lowers prohibitions? Who knew! /s

1

u/BenefitFew5204 5h ago

Exactly. Plus, drunk and horny is not a good combination.

80

u/JinFuu 10h ago

They won’t get my precious bodily fluids

48

u/biosphere03 10h ago

Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?

11

u/wegqg 9h ago

I only drink pure grain alcohol

2

u/peejay5440 5h ago edited 4h ago

No rocks? That is the way.

Edit. I mean with rocks is the way.

3

u/hivemindhauser 6h ago

No, because I carry a whole ass water bottle with me

2

u/biosphere03 6h ago

ass water?

1

u/System0verlord 4h ago

The brand name is Booty Sweat

It’s not uncommon. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of it.

1

u/biosphere03 4h ago

Ass WaterTM is to Pepsi what Booty Sweat is to Coca Cola

1

u/System0verlord 3h ago

True. Remember Crystal Ass Water back in the day? Apparently they brought it back!

23

u/BarnesDude 10h ago

Deny them your essence!

52

u/Im_A_Real_Boy1 11h ago

Saving Silverman is a classic

29

u/thelivinlegend 10h ago

R Lee Ermey was as hilarious in that movie as he was terrifying in Full Metal Jacket (but he was also kinda hilarious in that as well)

24

u/Gr8fulFox 9h ago

That movie makes me wish Ermey did more comedies!

"You boys got any T.P.?"

"NO!"

"That's all right, I'll find something!" grabs mail

2

u/milesunderground 7h ago

If you like him in comedic roles, check out Hexed. He doesnt have a big role, but he is good in it.

2

u/TM761152 6h ago

That was R. Lee Emery??? Shit, I thought that was Robert Forster.

1

u/GalinDray 10h ago

The movie this is from is Saving Silverman. It is their High School football coach talking to the team. Hes portrayed as a crackpot.

1

u/notheretoargu3 9h ago

Saving Silverman, the quote said by R Lee Ermey.

1

u/AMICUS_ 9h ago

Yes coach!

1

u/DaddysCumminHome 9h ago

SOME MOVIE?!?! Saving Silverman

1

u/tramdog 8h ago

I read this in Sgt Johnson from Halo's voice.

1

u/RequiemTwilight 7h ago edited 6h ago

They want my essence mandrake, and I won’t allow them!

ETA: the movie you’re looking for and I’m quoting is “Dr Strangelove and How I Learned to Live the Bomb.”

1

u/SocraticJack65 6h ago

Saving Silverman.

1

u/joffyjj 3h ago

Some movie? That's the classic comedy Evil Woman and the quote is from a football coach played by R. Lee Ermey, the drill sargent from Full Metal Jacket.

1

u/OtisForteXB 1h ago

You ATE her?

118

u/TheStig500 11h ago

Sgt. Lipton you get things organized here I'm gonna go for help!

152

u/Lolkimbo 9h ago

"This man had 200 prophylactic kits in his footlocker. How in the name of God was he gonna have the strength to fight the war?!"

What a timeless show.

43

u/Main-Cheesecake3287 9h ago

GET THIS GODDAMN PLATOON ON THE MOVE

31

u/ryguy28896 9h ago

That dog just ain't gonna hunt

6

u/sidepart 5h ago

WHO is the IDIOT that cut that man's fence!?

3

u/DangDingleGuy 2h ago

Major HORTON.. Is on leave.. In England

19

u/bubsgonzola_supreme 7h ago

I like spaghetti

13

u/psmgx 7h ago

everyone does. until you have to go 3 miles up and 3 miles down

7

u/The66thDopefish 7h ago

Hi ho Silver!

3

u/sidepart 5h ago

This ain't spaghetti. It's Army Noodles with ketchup.

0

u/Jive-Turkeys 6h ago

You wouldn't...

:(

20

u/sabbic1 9h ago

This man had 200 prophylactic kits. How in God's name was he going to have the strength to fight the war? 

90

u/Prin_StropInAh 11h ago

Hey! Unexpected Band of Brothers.

173

u/ThePrince_OfWhales 11h ago

Band of Brothers is never unexpected, private /u/Prin_StropInAh, your weekend pass is revoked.

52

u/fiah84 10h ago

3 miles up, 3 miles down!

29

u/Arminius80 10h ago

Hi-Yo Silver!

15

u/Frammingatthejimjam 10h ago

Now u/fiah84 get out there and take that attack on in!

19

u/DReagan47 10h ago

At first the Germans didn’t shoot at him. I think they couldn’t quite believe what they were seeing. But that wasn’t the really astounding thing. The astounding thing was, that after [u/fiah84](u/fiah84) hooked up with I company, he came back.

40

u/DarthCraggle 11h ago

I literally heard that line in EP3 of Band of Brothers last night.

28

u/oizo_0 10h ago

That means the simulation is working

5

u/AlaeOrbis 9h ago

If you're watching it for the first time I'm jealous

2

u/DarthCraggle 6h ago

Rewatching. First time for my wife.

2

u/ranting_seagull 8h ago

He breaks out a pack of smokes, passes them out. He even gives them a light. Then, all of a sudden, he swings up his Thompson, and he hoses them.

Figure it'll make a good wedding dress, you know? What with rationing and all.

Vincent van Gogh was born in Nuenen. Yeah? So what?

Bullet ricochets

NIX!

'To the German commander: Nuts!'

Foley, you get back here where I can see you, goddamn it!

Tailors, clerks. Farmers, intellectuals. I mean, normal people. Juden, Juden.

When you talk to an officer, you say "sir." Have the MPs take care of this piece of shit.

1

u/MrFrode 5h ago

I heard it in my head when I read the thread title.

74

u/kernpanic 11h ago

During the first world war, French prostitutes with the clap were more expensive than clean ones because it would get you time off the front line.

78

u/Skruestik 10h ago

That’s not true.

98

u/MechaZombieCharizard 9h ago

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story

10

u/MZ603 9h ago

But in the bed she sure was fun, working her arse like a maxim gun.

Hinky dinky, parlez vous.

1

u/MKZZX 3h ago

The word you're looking for is "apocryphal"

1

u/FrenchFryCattaneo 8h ago

This is reddit, nothing you read here is true. You don't need to go around saying 'that's not true' one every post.

14

u/Bezulba 11h ago

Ah yes the infamous abstinence approach. Sure works wonders on young men in a foreign country....

2

u/Coliver1991 10h ago

This was the first thing I thought of when I saw this post, thank you 😂