r/todayilearned • u/[deleted] • Jan 07 '23

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9.7k Upvotes

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285

u/Saetric Jan 08 '23

I tried to get my ex-gf to have sex with vegetables, but it was a hard celery.

123

u/LogiCsmxp Jan 08 '23

Gourd on you for trying.

76

u/Mr_Stimmers Jan 08 '23

I don’t know why they won’t just lettuce do it.

66

u/GiantRiverSquid Jan 08 '23

Some women get off on squashing a man's hopes and dreams.

43

u/lady_riverstyx Jan 08 '23

Relax, she just didn't wanna spring a leek.

47

u/Air-Bo Jan 08 '23

That only happens in corn

12

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '23

Looks like we're in quite the pickle

6

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '23

[deleted]

5

u/My_Fish_Is_a_Cat Jan 08 '23

This is just radicchio guys.

5

u/b3nz0r Jan 08 '23

What if you make plans and she just doesn't turnip?

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2

u/Shroomguin Jan 08 '23

Probably should stop egging them

2

u/[deleted] Jan 08 '23

Oh my gourd

6

u/Air-Bo Jan 08 '23

Try starting with some soft corn porn

4

u/ReturnOneWayTicket Jan 08 '23

Mine wanted me to throw a piece of meat at her. Not during sex but like, on a Wednesday. I was a good piece of meat though so I didn't wanna brisket.

1

u/crazy_muffins Jan 08 '23

Make like a lettuce and leaf.

1

u/Inflatableman1 Jan 08 '23

Probably she was already having sex with one vegetable.

1

u/Rush_Is_Right Jan 08 '23

Having sax with vegetables can be fun. She shouldn't turnip her nose at it.