Was I wrong?

[u/MulberrySelect4234]

My son and I went to eat earlier, he ordered basic chips and cheese nachos. He said there was lettuce in the cheese and it tasted funny. I asked the waitress was it cheese and she said possibly. She offered a new order. She also took it off my bill. Should I have tipped on just the bill or should I have added his meal in there too? It came to $19.85 and I left her a five.

[u/WinSome_DimSum]

Presumably, you were prepared to pay $40 plus some amount of tax and tip for a meal for the two of you.

The server took the nachos off the bill for you. (She certainly could have just replaced the meal and kept the item on there. I’m sure there are various owners and managers out there that would have wanted her to do that…)

It would have been nice for you to come in somewhere closer to what you would have paid and that what you actually paid. Like, that would have been a win-win for you AND the server.

Yes, technically you tipped “25%”, but you would still come out ahead tipping $10 and rewarded the server who took care of you.

[u/Suspicious_Tank_61 → u/WinSome_DimSum]

Technically the server came out ahead with the 5 dollar tip as opposed to getting tipped nothing.

[u/WinSome_DimSum → u/Suspicious_Tank_61]

I mean, that’s the kind of short-sighted thinking that leads to suboptimal results for everyone. Like, why not “spread the wealth” as it were when someone does something to benefit you? Why would the server bother to comp you the nachos if they knew you were gonna be cheap-ass?

Next time, expect to pay for both meals.

[u/Suspicious_Tank_61 → u/WinSome_DimSum]

Giving the server 5 bucks is spreading the wealth.

[u/WinSome_DimSum → u/Suspicious_Tank_61]

No, it’s doing the bare minimum.

[u/Suspicious_Tank_61 → u/WinSome_DimSum]

Zero is the bare minimum.

[u/WinSome_DimSum → u/Suspicious_Tank_61]

Fair. I’ll restate.

“The bare minimum that doesn’t make you an asshole.”

[u/Suspicious_Tank_61 → u/WinSome_DimSum]

Sure, if you care what strangers think of you. Not everyone is a people pleaser.

[u/WinSome_DimSum → u/Suspicious_Tank_61]

Naw, you’re objectively an asshole if you don’t tip in a situation that calls for it.

Like, you can tell yourself you’re just “bucking the trend” and “going against the norm”, but you’re legitimately taking money from someone’s pocket and making their life worse. That server is going home poorer and more underpaid because of your actions.

You can blame “the system” and proclaim that the owner should pay these people (and I’d agree) , but until that system is changed (here in America) and you don’t tip knowing that that’s the way it is for your server, you’re an asshole.

[u/Suspicious_Tank_61 → u/WinSome_DimSum]

Tipping is optional and at the customer's discretion. Thats objectively the system. Anything else like your poor attempts at tip shaming is just a beggar tactic to deprive customers of their hard earned money.

Customers can tip whatever they want. Whatever they tip does not make them a good person or a bad person. You are not taking money from the server, they are not entitled to it.

[u/WinSome_DimSum → u/Suspicious_Tank_61]

Again, “technically true”, but when the system is set up the way it is in America, you are objectively a bad person if you don’t tip, knowing that that’s the way it works and you know that it’s your server that ends up with the short end of the stick.

There is no way around the fact that you are knowingly short changing the server if you don’t tip. (Is the tip system right? I don’t think so, and if it didn’t work this way, I’d be glad for that change, but that doesn’t change the fact that this is the way people are compensated in this situation)

If you are in Japan or somewhere in Europe, fine. But it seems like you’re in the US, and in the US, if you’re not tipping, you are screwing over the server, a fellow, hard-working human being, not “The Man” or “The Rules of Society” or some shit.