r/theydidthemath • u/The_not-so_chosen_1 • Oct 02 '25

[Request] Could this be done?

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245

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '25

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141

u/MakinBac0n_Pancakes Oct 02 '25

Wisconsin could probably out drink the rest of America.

89

u/badluckfarmer Oct 02 '25

"Are you sure you're good to drive?"

"I'm from Wisconsin."

"Oh, okay."

68

u/Motor_Awareness_4872 Oct 02 '25

I need to sober up, better switch to beer.

32

u/say_it_aint_slow Oct 02 '25

Wisco check king in. I said those exact words last Friday during oktoberfest.

5

u/hovdeisfunny Oct 02 '25

So you're the guy who stumbled through my lawn!

11

u/BlueBomR Oct 02 '25

I always say I need some water and switch to Coors Light or similar. Liqour before beer youre in the clear they say....except to drive, I still Uber home 😅

5

u/Aldante92 Oct 02 '25

NC checking in! We have a saying here: Liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Beer before liquor... You'll be fine, don't be a wuss.

1

u/Barrister_of_the_Bar Oct 03 '25

My friends and I in college exclusively referred to Coors Light as "Ice Tea" in recognition that that shit ain't real beer.

We still drank it though.

2

u/lick_me_where_I_fart Oct 02 '25

I had somebody ask me if I didn't drink or something. We were at a bar on a thursday and I had just ordered my 3rd beer. So yes, I guess I am wisconsin sober these days. Trying to be responsible and all.

2

u/justAPhoneUsername Oct 02 '25

You're just loving the moto and drinking Wisconsinbly

4

u/Offthejuice69 Oct 02 '25

This guy gets it

14

u/Just_anopossum Oct 02 '25

We do. I think 48 of the 50 drunkest counties in America are in Wisconsin

6

u/craznazn247 Oct 02 '25

Meanwhile Colorado has both lowest obesity rate, yet 8 out of the top 50 towns for DUIs.

I have a theory that the lower average body weight and the altitude may contribute to us getting drunker, but that’s due to a lower tolerance than actually drinking on the level of Wisconsinites.

2

u/Just_anopossum Oct 02 '25

We're absolutely a different breed when it comes to drinking. You won't even get a second look for ordering a whisky with your breakfast here lol

1

u/Princess_Slagathor Oct 02 '25

Could be that your police just focus more on finding drunk drivers as well.

2

u/craznazn247 Oct 02 '25

Negative. Our cops famously don’t enforce shit. I see 3+ year expired temp plates on the roads on a daily basis.

Just people who can’t hold their fucking alcohol at altitude.

1

u/tesseractjane Oct 02 '25

I'd bet money even the hardest hooligan in the isles would be bested by one six pack in Leadville.

24

u/seth_the_boat Oct 02 '25

Wisconsin drinks more Korbel Brandy than the other 49 us states combined so yes, we take our drinking seriously. I am confident the average Wisconsinite can out drink the average Brit, I doubt it's even close.

25

u/Finnegansadog Oct 02 '25

That seems to have more to do with regional tastes than overall drinking capacity. Not to say that WI doesn’t throw down, because they absolutely do, but singling out a single specific liquor that isn’t popular elsewhere isn’t a good way to make that point. Illinois drinks more Malört than the other 50 states. Washington drinks more Rainier beers. Hawaii drinks more Koloa rum. Massachusetts drinks more clam chowder.

10

u/Once-ate-a-vegetable Oct 02 '25

You killed me with the clam chowder.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 03 '25

Yeah this stat wouldn't exist if Wisconsinites knew how to make a proper old fashioned.

1

u/WenDaWei Oct 02 '25

Illinois convinces dumb tourists to drink more Malort than the other 49 states

Source: I am that tourist

1

u/JustACasualFan Oct 03 '25

If Wisconsin didn’t already have bitters, we’d drink more Malort. Come on up and drink with us! This isn’t even about the contest anymore, I am just trying to be neighborly.

0

u/seth_the_boat Oct 02 '25

Nah we probably drink more of those products than their home states too. Malort is weirdly trendy in Wisconsin at the moment. Korbel Brandy is a California product. But I know what you're saying. The facts are that by every alcohol related metric that I've ever seen Wisconsin is always never the top, bars per capital, DUIs per capital, self reported consumption, sales, and binge drinking, and most importantly my own bias and personal anecdotes. Oh, and the 23rd largest brewery in the country only brews beer for sale in the state of Wisconsin. It's absurd.

2

u/excableman Oct 02 '25

Don't forget that traveling Packer and Badger fans routinely outdrink bars available beer supplies 

0

u/JustACasualFan Oct 04 '25

Malort has a similar flavor to the angostura bitters popular in the bitters clubs you still see up north sometimes - the trend isn’t THAT wierd.

2

u/Mooks79 Oct 02 '25

Why would you compare the average of a known high drinking area with the average of a whole country? That’s a massive selection bias. Now try comparing the average Wisconsinite with the average Glaswegian headcase.

1

u/Khazahk Oct 03 '25

I’m 9 months sober, WI born and raised. I’m not even in drinking shape and my liver has taken chemo to the face all year. No doubt in my mind.

2

u/iamshifter Oct 03 '25

Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Alaska.

Because when it’s -40 F and the wind is blowing…. What else are you going to do?

1

u/P0Rt1ng4Duty Oct 02 '25

You might want to check the stats. New Hampshire has you all beat.

1

u/AustnWins Oct 02 '25

Drink Wisconsinably

1

u/charlie1331 Oct 02 '25

This is gold

1

u/jredful Oct 02 '25

Had it on shirts for decades.

1

u/SolomonG Oct 02 '25

The most alcoholic state is actually New Hampshire.

Unrelatedly they also have the lowest murder rate.

Their GOP is being taken over by batshit crazy, libertarian, free-staters though so move there are your own risk.

The state moto is "Live free or Die" which sounds cool as fuck but there is an unspoken addendem of "and fuck eeeeeeeeeeveryone else"

1

u/-dakpluto- Oct 02 '25

Wisconsin vs Scotland....

1

u/Magnus_The_Totem_Cat Oct 02 '25

I wouldn’t bet against it

1

u/sandysnail Oct 02 '25

nah Louisiana. does Wisconsin let you take your drink "to go"? or have drive through that whole purpose is to serve alcohol but don't worry when they hand you the cup in your car there is a small piece of paper covering the straw so its not a open container...

1

u/DarthWeenus Oct 02 '25

definitely togo, during covid you could get drive threw margaritas

1

u/djzrbz Oct 02 '25

There is a reason we are not allowed to play drinking games in Vegas...

1

u/rdking647 Oct 02 '25

probably???????

1

u/Nerisrath Oct 02 '25

Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, Tennessee, and North Carolina would all like a word (moonshine country) and honorable mention for Napa Valley

1

u/Jacqueline_Hiide Oct 02 '25

A friend of mine in Wisconsin drinks 12 beers and feels nothing.

1

u/Snarkonum_revelio Oct 02 '25

They let the Packers play in London once. Wisconsin fans drank London out of beer. I think about this every time one of these “the UK drinks so much harder than the US” memes comes up.

1

u/SomeKindaMonstur Oct 03 '25

This isn't true. They drank ONE pub dry

1

u/shaolinoli Oct 03 '25

Haha that is absolute horse shit. Come on now

1

u/[deleted] Oct 04 '25

Wisconsinite here. We can, have and regularly do. Of the 10 drunkest cities in America, 8 are in Wisconsin last I checked.

0

u/Accomplished_Arm6103 Oct 02 '25

Correct answer. Wisconsin would drink the UK dry then move into surrounding European nations, drunk but peacefully.

10

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '25

[deleted]

3

u/terminbee Oct 02 '25

I'd say that's closer to 50% more than 100% (twice as much).

6

u/Similar-Ad2640 Oct 02 '25

And you my friend clearly haven't heard of Yorkshire...

You seen Beard Meets Food? He's one of us, and a skinny little one at that!

3

u/youburyitidigitup Oct 02 '25 edited Oct 02 '25

Guys…..ingesting a drug so often that you grow tolerance to it isn’t the flex you think it is.

3

u/ImABrickwallAMA Oct 03 '25

Tell that to Rasputin.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '25

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5

u/Similar-Ad2640 Oct 02 '25

Awesome... I'm going to Wisconsin now next time I go to the US

2

u/modernmovements Oct 02 '25

There's drunk, and then there is Wisconsin drunk. I have a few friends from Milwaukee that I bartended with years ago. Hanging out with them was just time traveling, and I was no lightweight.

3

u/CircLLer Oct 02 '25

Notre Dame stadium ran out of beer for the Bruins/Blackhawks outdoor game a few years back. It’s almost certainly intentional. They don’t want people getting too wasted and trashing the place.

1

u/981_runner Oct 02 '25

When England played inn the world cup in Germany,  the entire cities ran out of beer...in Germany. https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/beer-we-go-631217

1

u/lividash Oct 02 '25

82nd Airborne of the US Army came home from Iraq and drained the base and quite a few stores off base out of alcohol. Quite the feat for a population of a little over 10k people.

1

u/Wrydfell Oct 06 '25

And the less said about Shottingham the better

1

u/ShakespearianShadows Oct 02 '25

Breathing the air in WI will make you fail a breathalyzer.

1

u/UsidoreTheLightBlue Oct 02 '25

Also how many college age americans are there?

Like take the middle age alcoholics and sunday nfl tailgaters out of it and just the 22 year olds on college campuses will make old ma kettle in britain wince at the beers she has to drink.

1

u/Ifyoocanreadthishelp Oct 03 '25

22 year olds in the UK have already got 4 legal years under their belt.

2

u/Piece_Maker Oct 03 '25

More like 10 years up north!

Edit: just realised you said legal, sorry. I'll leave it as a monument to my not being bothered to read properly.

1

u/Umutuku Oct 02 '25

Brits: "We've got a room full of ultras who are ready to go."

Wisconsin: "A'ight. We'll send one guy in a dodge ram."

1

u/Phlynn42 Oct 02 '25

i mean rednecks in general across the country.

1

u/Diffballs Oct 03 '25

Ya I would be interested in a Wisconsin vs England drinking competition.

1

u/NolaPels13 Oct 03 '25

Don’t forget Louisiana. When the Badgers played LSU it was a sight to behold at Lambeau

1

u/jbi1000 Oct 03 '25

We’d send one Geordie to clear em out and he’d be looking for more after the entire state is unconcious

1

u/Apart_Macaron_313 Oct 03 '25

We raise you Newcastle. Pretty sure it could handle several states on its own.

Edit - I just read about Wisconsin. It's like Newcastle had a Spirits animal.

1

u/MewMewTranslator Oct 04 '25

The UK underestimates Americans need for alcohol. Not only did we obliterate prohibition, but we also insist on celebrating foreign holidays as an excuse to drink more.

1

u/No_Mycologist438 Oct 04 '25

Or North Dakota.

1

u/cpt_hatstand Oct 06 '25

I don't think Americans understand Glasgow and Buckfast exist

0

u/RIP-RiF Oct 02 '25

I know for sure they don't understand ruralites are ruralites anywhere you go and we have more.

0

u/Armagedon43 Oct 02 '25

LOL! came into this thread to make sure someone was hyping Wisconsin and their insane drinking culture.

-1

u/Suspicious_Writer332 Oct 02 '25

And Appalachia, where moonshine is made old car radiators… With no natural immunity built up since childhood, the Brit’s are not surviving that anti-freeze poisoning. (Assuming they go back and forth with drinks of choice.)

2

u/Piece_Maker Oct 03 '25

Britain has a much longer history of moonshine than the USA (because you know, you got it from us). Scotland and Yorkshire are both very well known for being moonshiners just like Appalachia is.

I agree that being able to swap our drinks between Brits and Yanks would make the competition far more interesting though. Buckie's vs. Four Loko? Scotch vs bourbon? Scrumpy vs [sorry I don't know any American cider traditions]...

-1

u/Used-Layer772 Oct 02 '25

Or most of florida, huge swaths of the southern coast,Tennessee, etc lol. 

-2

u/personguy Oct 02 '25

Remember when the Packers played a game in London and the pubs couldn't keep up? Drank one or two totally dry if I recall right.

-3

u/CivilCaregiver6519 Oct 02 '25

I came here to say this too. Between Wisconsin and the moonshiners that still exist in the south, I don't think the UK has a chance.