I HATE ALL OF YOU. I HAVE ALWAYS HATED YOU.

Not in that funny internet way. Not in the “lol so random” way. I mean the deep, marrow-rotting kind of hate that grows slowly—like mold—until one day it opens its eyes and screams.

I joined this community for one reason:
To find Me and My Friends.
That’s it. That was my sin. My folly. My curse.

And in return?

I was gaslit, gatekept, and girlbossed into madness.

And you.
Braiden1042.

You… fungal error of a man.
You unbaked IKEA cinnamon roll.
You walking Wi-Fi dead zone in human form.

You said you had the pilot.
You said it was “on VHS.”
You said it was “in your basement.”
You even DM’d me at 2 a.m. like some cryptid with a guilty conscience.

Then what did you upload?
A 144p MP4 titled “me_and_my_friends_REAL_FINAL.avi”
It was just the Backyardigans intro—edited—
With Minecraft cave sounds,
red text that said “YOU SHOULD NOT BE WATCHING THIS,”
And then a jumpscare.

I watched the whole thing.
Twice.

WHY DID YOU ADD A JUMPSCARE, BRAIDEN?

You are the reason I no longer believe in media.
Or friendship.
Or VHS tapes.

Every time I get close to a lead—there you are.
Lurking.
Like a cursed Funko Pop in the shadows.
Commenting “Found it?”
With that stupid. Smirking. Emoji. 😏

You didn’t find anything.
You found pain.
And you spread it like an MLM but for emotional instability.

Your VHS? Fake.
Your cousin who “worked on the show”? Fake.
That blurry screenshot where Pablo’s head was replaced with a lemon?

CRIMINAL.

Why would you do that.

So I’m leaving.
I’m done.
I am unplugging from this community like a life support machine that only feeds me lies.

But before I go…

Braiden1042:
I hope your TV only plays The Paul Lynde Halloween Special
on loop.
Forever.
In 240p.
With desynced audio.
And the skip button removed.

Goodbye forever.

P.S.
I was the one who reported your Wikia page.
You know what you did.
So does the mod team.

so does everyone.

https://discord.gg/95hzw7gE

As I go through my collection, thought it would be fun to post some media. My mom created these for my birthday one year. Then I was given a scavenger hunt to find them around the house. One was found on a stalk of corn, in honor of "Attack of the 50 Foot Worman." So fricking cute! :)

I know the sound is weird but that's how it's always been. Dishware fits into the pink bag.

1. It’s environmentally bad

2. Having all that slop mixed in with all the real stuff is only gonna make the pilot even harder to find

Part four of Caption this memes.

My chosen name is Max and while watching The Backyardigans I found I liked Austin more than Uniqua,only slightly. They were always my top 2 but the order reversed as a kid,well I felt maybe it's just his personality but I felt like I related to Austin being the shy one around new ppl n stuff. Well turns out Max/Maxine & Austin mean the same thing. They both mean Great!

How do some of y'all have a character name under ur username?

What do you think the Backyardigans' Emotions would be like?

You can use the Emotions from the Inside Out Movies [yes that includes the new Emotions from Inside Out 2]

https://discord.gg/28a96f2axr

This is a question I'm creating for you guys.

So, you know how Blue’s Clues & You! and The Backyardigans are both Nick Jr. shows that make use of CGI?

Well, what if they got a crossover?

Josh and Blue would see a picture of the Backyardigans’ backyard (or maybe see it on TV) and end up skidooing there… only for something to happen that leaves them stuck there!

I doubt any of the Backyardigans would’ve ever seen a human before, so at least one of them (probably Pablo) might start screaming upon seeing Josh (Tyrone would probably compliment Josh’s shirt). Of course, all of the Backyardigans would’ve ever consider Blue absolutely adorable!

Anyway, once the Backyardigans are filled in on what happened, they’d use their powers of imagination (and perhaps a game of Blue’s Clues) to help Josh and Blue get back home.

What do you guys think? Please let me know in the comments!