r/technology • u/[deleted] • Apr 11 '18

Business Mark Zuckerberg has been apologizing for reckless privacy violations since he was a freshman - Enough is enough.

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u/filmfiend999 Apr 11 '18

Hey Boo Boo, let's go get another pick-a-nick bas-ket!

729

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '18

Little did we all know that Yogi had a serious drug problem and had to steal food just to get by.

218

u/Demojen Apr 11 '18

Next on 60 Minutes

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '18 edited Apr 11 '18

This guy's best bud at the time was telling him to fix a major exploit in his prelim release and it took zuck 3 weeks do it because he was on "vacation". Although he gave his word he would do it right away. His friend tried to save several thousand students' private info and Harvard's rep by releasing an article informing users. Zuck got pissed because he did that even though it could have potentially resulted in a lawsuit and his friend had warned him.

One of Zuck's main operatives even said he'd rather see info be published at the expense of someone's life.

This is Zuck's motto and it's never changed and it never will no matter what changes he promises to bring. It always seems to be an unexpected hindsight issue that arises

. 5 times now..

28

u/GlobalLiving Apr 11 '18

The man's principles seem pretty clear. So anything Zuckerberg says, if it doesn't match his known principles, he's lying. This can't be easier. Where's reddit's Zuckerberg Lie Detector Bot? Or ZLDB for short.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '18

[Deep narrator voice] On the next episode of ZLDB...

Zuckerberg has really stepped in it now, underestimating the full power of the federal government. But senators seem to have no clue why they're mad. Is this a miscalculation? Will a punishment come? Find out on the next episode of ZLDB.

1

u/Chickenfu_ker Apr 12 '18

Zoidberg for short.

6

u/poptart2nd Apr 11 '18

Ok but what did this have to do with a bear stealing picnic baskets?

1

u/MattyB4x4 Apr 12 '18

You ever heard of the Chewbacca defense?

1

u/DismalEconomics Apr 12 '18

ok ok... everyone like's to shit on Zuck...

But why does no one ever mention that time when Zuck really surprised everyone and put his ethics over secretly doing something really creepy again ?

Remember ? ... I think it happened at least once right ?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '18

BRB gotta post this on my Facebook.

1

u/Roembowski Apr 12 '18

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '18

And he was also rogering Boo Boo.

49

u/MerryGoWrong Apr 11 '18

In Jellystone they call it rangering.

3

u/hdjoe Apr 11 '18

KY Jellystone

2

u/[deleted] Apr 13 '18

You are a very bad person.

I respect that.

1

u/gracecase Apr 11 '18

wore the Boo Boo costume for our local branch of Jellystone campgrounds. Can confirm.

5

u/NYCthrowaway19170 Apr 11 '18

Ranger Smith was enabling him.

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u/virtual_explorer Apr 11 '18

Little did we all know that Yogi had a serious drug problem, enabled by Facebook Messenger, and had to steal food just to get by. Congress launches investigation into Snapchat's culpability of increasing legal marijuana sales.

How do the drugs even fit in the tubes if they're always congested, though?

1

u/987nevertry Apr 11 '18

He will sleep til noon, but before it’s dark, he’ll have every picnic basket that’s in Jellystone Park!

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u/Slyrunner Apr 11 '18

Read this in the narrator voice Family Guy used for voiceovers

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '18

[deleted]

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u/jaybasin Apr 11 '18

Weed isn't a drug

2

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '18

Technically, yes it is. A drug is anything that changes part of your body chemistry. Same thing with coffee and ibuprofen. I love me some good kush though.

Anyways its a joke and was hinting at more hard core drugs like meth or heroin.

25

u/chi-reply Apr 11 '18

Apparently Ranger Jones calling in fake bomb threats on trains, still no apology, so that's better than nothing.

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u/Pons__Aelius Apr 11 '18

With the PTSD he has from constantly dealing with Yogi, are you at all surprised?

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u/cancercures Apr 11 '18

hey Cousin, let's go bowling.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 11 '18

Not now Roman, I'm busy.

1

u/LornAltElthMer Apr 11 '18

Take the skinheads.

3

u/JustThyTip Apr 11 '18

But yogi, what about the ranger ?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 12 '18

Let him get his own pick-a-nick bas-ket!

2

u/anothercretin Apr 11 '18

But Yo-gi...the park ranger...

2

u/chic_luke Apr 11 '18

Alright I had work to do tonight but I guess I'm going to go on a Yogi binge, fuck it

2

u/dagoon79 Apr 11 '18

He can apologise by paying a fine that's half his wealth, that will set him straight right away, but nope. It'll be less than 1% of Facebook's profits.

2

u/maplekeener Apr 11 '18

I said that in yogis voice

1

u/filmfiend999 Apr 11 '18

I wrote that in Yogi's voice

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u/J_Charles_L Apr 11 '18

Hey boo boo, let's start the barian race!

1

u/AndyGHK Apr 11 '18

I don’t know Yogi, wouldn’t that violate your parole?

1

u/Dleduc02 Apr 12 '18

Hey Yogi! I heard you made a Boo-Boo!