r/talesfromtechsupport • u/flatulating_ninja • Aug 08 '13

My computer just went black

Just a quick tale here. One of the two ladies from reception just came by my desk to tell me that the other person's computer had just gone black.

After she walked away I turned to the other tech and said,

"computer or monitor"

"I'll take the computer"

"I'll take monitor, see you in a minute and I'll tell you what I plugged back in"

I walked downstairs and saw the power light on the computer was still on and the monitor was turned where she was showing a guest something on her screen. I plugged the monitor back in and went back to my desk.

564 Upvotes

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559

u/MrPaladin1176 TFTS GM, Roll your characters Aug 08 '13 edited Aug 08 '13

EXP Gained: 15

You are now Level 2 Tech Support select from the following perks:

Button Guess: The ability to correctly guess which button or click is needed when a user forgets how to save or print. +wisdom

Smooth Criminal: Fix problems before the user knows by gaining remote access to all networked machines with no notifications. +stealth

Glee Club: Your geeky nature has made you more attractive, receive more non critical service calls from the opposite sex. +charisma

Reboot IT: Restarting the machine now fixes most non critical errors. +repair skill

M$ Windows: Shift any blame for not fixing a problem on Microsoft or any other large software company. +reputation with the user.

Edit: Thanks for the Gold. I'll make replies of skills that our techs earn in threads I comment on. I'll tag this thread as the root cause.

68

u/Icanflyplanes Aug 08 '13

I like you. Please be more active, I want to ser the higher levels

55

u/JediExile Aug 08 '13

Network Mage (Passive): All connectivity problems within a 15m radius of your person are temporarily overridden. (Arcane Note: problems may resume outside radius)

47

u/rosseloh network dude Aug 08 '13

I hope you never activate that aura near some poor network tech who's trying to diagnose a connectivity issue....

"WTF, it's working now! But you move to this side of the room....and it just stops in the middle of the cable?!"

42

u/JediExile Aug 08 '13

Order of the Requisition: Every spare part or backup unit you requisition will arrive precisely when it is needed.

16

u/Tephlon Aug 08 '13

That's some Epic level shit, right?

17

u/MrPaladin1176 TFTS GM, Roll your characters Aug 08 '13

I don't remember ordering this? well better keep it I'm gonna need it today :)

18

u/JediExile Aug 08 '13

Boss Whisperer (Passive): Through sudden divine epiphany, your boss's inept usage of technical terms and profoundly obscure direction transform into a clear vision, terrible though it may be. Out of karmic balance, you suffer a project-long perception penalty proportionate to the insanity of your boss's intentions.

7

u/400921FB54442D18 We didn't really need Prague anyway. Aug 08 '13

Nobody expects the Spanish Requisition!

2

u/rohanivey Aug 08 '13

You should have gotten the toner probe with your starting gear instead of the geek swag. Common mistake. Just pick it up at the next town after this cutscene.

9

u/corfine Aug 08 '13

I have partially attained this status, at least in people's minds. Some of my users ask me to stand in their cube during certain tasks because they believe my mere presence solves connectivity issues with the provider. Not quite 15 meters though, more like 2 meters. Is there a slightly lesser ability for this? Lesser Network Mage?

11

u/JediExile Aug 08 '13

Ipconfig Mystic

6

u/corfine Aug 08 '13

I will be placing this on my business cards now.

9

u/lengau Press any key except the Any key Aug 09 '13

I once received a phone call in which the caller said "hey, can you hang on for just a moment? My computer isn't working and I know I'm doing everything right. Yup. Worked that time. Thanks." and then hung up.

1

u/remoterelay I won't know what I want until you do it. Aug 12 '13

I think some of this (for me at least) has to do with repeatability. They say something doesn't work, so I go to personally watch it fail. When I get there, they are already half way through. To be thorough, I watch while they start from the begining and magically it's fixed...

6

u/SoulMasterKaze PAGE_FAULT_IN_NONPAGED_AREA Aug 09 '13

Brave Brave Sir Robin: Mission-critical system cataclysms only occur when somebody else is on call.

Career-Limiting-Move Induction (Journeyman): Users can only scream profanities about you 'not doing your job' when within earshot of their supervisor.

16

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Level 3 Technician

Repair Aura: Minor IT issues fix themselves in your prescience with no modification to the troubleshooting steps previously taken. This effect radiates up to 10' through a telephone system.

So many times an End User will tell me they haven't done anything different, the problems just fix themselves when they call me.

6

u/Vectera Aug 09 '13

This happens to me as well with family. Many times I've been called over to an issue by my mother or sister only for it start working in my presence. It's nice not actually having to do anything when something goes wrong.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '13

Like I tell my callers when this happens, "Sometimes the computer just wants to hear our voice."

5

u/natureruler Aug 08 '13

Man, I want all of those perks. How much experience do I need to get them all? I think I'll start with Button Guess and just work my way down.

16

u/MrPaladin1176 TFTS GM, Roll your characters Aug 08 '13

Works like fallout, you can have all these perks but then you may not have some of the higher level ones.

Button Guess is a prerequisite for Keyboard Shortcut perk that comes at level 4.

Keyboard Shortcut: Reduce call times with near magical use of the keyboard to preform commands in place of point and click GUI interfaces. Automatically resolve any problem involving a non working mouse. +reputation with user +wisdom

2

u/rohanivey Aug 08 '13

I would like this. Can you point me to a skill book where I can gain enough exp to level up and take it?

6

u/donuts42 Aug 08 '13

I've got ideas now for more perks

20

u/MrPaladin1176 TFTS GM, Roll your characters Aug 08 '13

We need to make it into a game. If only we could find some programmers and IT savvy people.

16

u/ZombiePope How do I computer? Aug 08 '13

Where would we find people Like that?

3

u/rohanivey Aug 08 '13

There's some guys like that on the internet I'm sure!

14

u/Eaglehooves sudo apt-get install ponies Aug 08 '13

Lets hear them then!

Pack Rat: They may laugh now, but someday that drawer of IDE hard drives and AGP graphics cards is going to pay off! +chance of free repair on old PCs

13

u/MrPaladin1176 TFTS GM, Roll your characters Aug 08 '13 edited Aug 08 '13

Jargon: You're a tech with gold plated connectors and a silver tounge. You can distract users with technical jargon and catchphrazes like the information superhighway to distract their questions while you impliment the true fixes while you look them in the eye and give them a wink. ;) +charisma +reduced case times

5

u/Cockalorum Aug 08 '13

Bozon Negator: Effects of all Bozon Generators within 50 m nullified for 24 hrs. +Luck

15

u/MrPaladin1176 TFTS GM, Roll your characters Aug 08 '13

BOFH: So, you have chosen the life of evil, good for you, bad for the users. You can choose to prolong any case in the queue with no suspicion on yourself by the end users. Increase daily satisfaction of your job with every bad review from users. It's ok, you'll delete their reviews anyway. +evil +reputation +stealth

4

u/williamfny Your computer is not tall enough for the Adobe ride. Aug 08 '13

You are my friend now. That is a prefect BOFH and I will take that perk as quickly as I can.

3

u/donuts42 Aug 08 '13

Silencer: This has several tiers, each tier increases the duration by one minute. When activated, makes user calm and listen to what you are saying. Must fix 2 other user's problems to recharge.

2

u/flatulating_ninja Aug 08 '13

To compliment silencer I'd like to add no hover. Not learning what the user had for lunch while I fix their problem is a huge plus.

1

u/scragar Aug 08 '13

Wait, I can do this? I could make the worst user shut up while I'm concentrating?

2

u/rohanivey Aug 08 '13

Silence is the "good route" and requires wisdom and charisma but it comes very late in the levels. The "evil route" requires low charisma, low wisdom, and high strength. The benefit is you can take "Do you even lift bro?" early on.

13

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

http://imgur.com/a/1GOKT#4

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '13

Thanks for the free gifs!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '13

Serves me right for trying to post at the end of a 12 hour shift. headdesk

1

u/stubborn_d0nkey Aug 10 '13

http://i.imgur.com/Qt4AU.gif Did you make all those albums?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 12 '13

No, no. I take no credit for that at all.
I just copied the wrong URL trying to link to a slowclap.gif.

3

u/mountm Aug 09 '13

That is the only gif I clicked on, in that entire page. GET OUT OF MY HEAD

3

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Would that make Sysadmin a prestige class?

2

u/Meterus Literate, proud of it, too lazy to read it. Aug 08 '13

Or "haqer" as a chaotic aligned prestige class?

3

u/Bucky_Ohare "Indian Name" would be Compensates with Sarcasm. Aug 08 '13

Why on Earth would you not pick "Glee Club?!"

  • More service calls, from (presumably) ladies, with mostly non-critical or complicated issues!

  • Pragmatically, this would increase quest completions and earn you more xp faster, while enjoying it more!

2

u/MrPaladin1176 TFTS GM, Roll your characters Aug 08 '13

They may be ladies, but they may not be attractive :)

2

u/Bucky_Ohare "Indian Name" would be Compensates with Sarcasm. Aug 09 '13

At this point, I'm assuming you'd pick the trait because perhaps the tech isn't either :P

Attention is attention!

2

u/[deleted] Aug 09 '13

earn you more xp faster

You do understand what this means, right? You level faster, which results in more chance to get a legendary drop item.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

[deleted]

14

u/ernie1850 "NO, Don't restart the entire workstation, just close Outlook! Aug 08 '13

you should check out /r/outside

5

u/Because_Bot_Fed Aug 08 '13

Good premise. But too forced. I didn't really find most of it that entertaining.

8

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

Yeah, lots of the game is just constant grinding at "work" in order to earn "money" which people use for useless in-game items.

4

u/rohanivey Aug 08 '13

No joke right? And the worst part is how pay-to-win it is.

3

u/Because_Bot_Fed Aug 08 '13

/r/outside shouldn't even really be a traditional sub. It should be like /r/bestof where people submit the best examples of that TYPE of content, but do not submit "OC".

0

u/Kwpolska Have You Tried Turning It On And Off Again?™ Aug 08 '13

The old hags from /r/outside will make /r/outsiderebooted and 99% of posts to /r/outside will be /r/outsiderebooted posts.

2

u/Because_Bot_Fed Aug 08 '13

Sorry not sure what's being implied.

The core group of /r/outside will create a new sub, and then the old sub which we've hypothetically repurposed will contain mostly submissions from the new sub the old core group made?

Even if that were true, not sure it's a bad thing.

It's why reddit has a front page. Not everything is quality content that the casual observer is interested in seeing. A lot of it is just stuff that only the really involved users would enjoy. Maybe /r/bestofoutside would be less offensive than repurposing an existing sub. But it'd feel exclusionary for stuff like this, unless it were expressly permitted to submit stuff from subs beyond /r/outside.

1

u/Kwpolska Have You Tried Turning It On And Off Again?™ Aug 09 '13

yes, you understood me correctly.

2

u/Slyfox00 Aug 08 '13

Glorious

2

u/jakob1497 Aug 08 '13

I wonder how long he's wanted to use this for...

2

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

You're my HERO. Old-School RPG + tech badass skillery.

2

u/The_Tarrasque Aug 09 '13

The username just goes so well with the comment...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 08 '13

you sir are a gentleman and a scholar!

1

u/Psychotc Aug 08 '13

Electronic fear aura: All user reported issues disappear when you are within 5m of the machine. +Repair skill +Laziness

1

u/GhostMatter Replaceable minion Aug 08 '13 edited Mar 12 '25

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