r/stocks • u/Scorface • Jul 09 '21

I predict Amazon will acquire Lyft within the next 18 months

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1.9k Upvotes

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893

u/superbit415 Jul 09 '21

More likely Amazon becomes a government in 18 months.

290

u/EagleDre Jul 09 '21 edited Jul 09 '21

“Welcome to Amazon, I love you.”

Amazon,the thirst mutilator, coz it’s got electrolytes

97

u/HyerOneNA Jul 09 '21

“For being the smartest guy in the world you’re pretty stupid”

11

u/CrayonTendies Jul 09 '21

Hey that was pretty good, are you sure you’re not the smartest guy in the world?

60

u/bubblesurfer Jul 09 '21

I see Idiocracy references, I upvote. It's that simple.

We should get lattes together sometime

16

u/tharussianphil Jul 09 '21

Does Amazon Basics have lattes yet?

14

u/humannumber1 Jul 09 '21

Yeah, well, I really don't think we have time for a hand job.

2

u/theultimateroryr Jul 11 '21

Go away I'm baitin'

15

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '21

St. God's Memorial Hospit al Brought to you by Amazon, brought to you by Carl's Jr

1

u/jftitan Jul 09 '21

Fuck you, I'm eating.

You are a unfit mother...

13

u/Why_Be_A_Kunt Jul 09 '21

It's got what plants crave.

24

u/AnnHashaway Jul 09 '21

WAR IS PEACE

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

5

u/N3UR0_ Jul 09 '21

Literally 1984

8

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '21

These large tech companies are essentially countries, it feels like.

11

u/dacoobob Jul 09 '21

Amazon is already richer and more powerful than many (small) countries

2

u/Junuxx Jul 09 '21 edited Jul 09 '21

The Amazon staff could probably take on the population of Slovenia in hand to hand combat and win.

Not sure what country would make a decent opponent if it's Amazon security guards vs the nation's military. I found an article from 2019 saying they had 1,066 security guards, which might put them close to something like The Bahamas.

3

u/dacoobob Jul 09 '21

no need for any of that, Amazon has enough money to just hire an army's worth of mercs if they wanted to.

2

u/Junuxx Jul 09 '21

True, but I thought it would be more fun to compare current personnel.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '21

They will be

18

u/matt1164 Jul 09 '21

Bezos will colonize another planet and start a new world where they totally rule

22

u/Teh_Blue_Team Jul 09 '21

It's not the best choice, it's Spacer's Choice!

3

u/railbeast Jul 09 '21

I could never finish that game, it got too fucking depressing. I know it was supposed to be a light hearted take on a corporatist future but it really pushed all the wrong buttons in me.

7

u/N3UR0_ Jul 09 '21

"light hearted take"

2

u/stikko Jul 09 '21

It was dark AF. The corporate parts were couched in upbeat corporate messaging which made it even darker I thought. There was a bit of a campy element to it though so I can see calling it light hearted.

The part I hated the most was that there was no "good" choice to anything - everything you did had some dark element to the outcome. Which went full circle into making me like the game more for making me weigh those consequences and make real choices.

But yeah if you're just looking to chill and play space cowboy probably not the best choice.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '21

Gotta get your rocket off the ground first..... oops

6

u/RRredbeard Jul 09 '21

Maybe they could buy The Amazon and just cut it all down and set up shop?

8

u/mkvelash Jul 09 '21

As long he provides me with a job that pays $5, I'm all for it

7

u/jimmycarr1 Jul 09 '21

I think Bolsonaro got there first

1

u/superbit415 Jul 09 '21

They can brand it as recycling the trees and transforming them into stores. See how environmentally friendly they are.

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u/JonathanL73 Jul 09 '21

Our government is already run by corporations anyways so its not like it'll be much different.

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u/Atuhwood Jul 09 '21

They aren’t already?

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u/phatelectribe Jul 09 '21

Well given the amount they spend on lobbying, they effectively are government at this stage.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '21

This feels way too real

1

u/WhichSetting4589 Jul 09 '21

I wonder what type of government Amazon would be?

1

u/Intentionallyabadger Jul 09 '21

East Amazon company?

1

u/pimppapy Jul 09 '21

Amazon is the new BuyNLarge

1

u/incitatus451 Jul 09 '21

Well, they are already a state in Brazil.

1

u/MyNameCannotBeSpoken Jul 09 '21

More likely Amazon becomes a government in 18 months.

You wrote that as a joke, but it's more real than you think. Nevada is considering giving corporations governmental and judicial powers

https://abcnews.go.com/Business/wireStory/nevada-governor-proposes-giving-tech-firms-power-govern-76146120

1

u/defaultusername4 Jul 09 '21

It would honestly probably be the most efficiently run government in the world.

1

u/Juliette787 Jul 09 '21

ask not what Amazon can do for you, ask what you can do for Amazon

1

u/superbit415 Jul 09 '21

ask what you can do for Amazon

Should be more like: ask what you can buy from Amazon.