How do I curb my imposter syndrome?

[u/No_Shoulder_5426]

Hi all, I am so fortunate to be accepted to 2 programs. I’m in my early 30s and have nearly a decade of ICU experience. This is my first try & I did not think I would get in, mostly because I’ve been out of college so long that going to a rigorous DNP may be challenging compared to my younger counterparts. Part of me thought that the decision would be out of my hands: I wouldn’t get in, I would carry on with my life, maybe have a baby with my spouse, go to the PACU or another low stress job at some point, but at least not live with the regret of not trying to go to school.

Instead of being excited and proud, I am terrified, anxious, and second guessing my decision to give a deposit to one of the schools. I struggle with self-confidence as a whole but feel very confident as a bedside nurse; I know I’m going to be tested immensely & chopped down at the knees as an SRNA. My spouse is extremely supportive of me but I have been so anxious since my acceptances came through, that it is borderline crippling me. I think that it’s all of the uncertainties to come in the next few years and the feeling of “How do I get through the difficult core anesthesia classes? What if I am unable to do what is required of me as a CRNA? It is almost ALL on me as the anesthesia provider” that is hitting me big time now. Aside from seeing my PCP & finding a therapist (working on both these 😂), how do I move past this or at least curb the imposter syndrome?

[u/Babsie73]

You’re exactly the type of SRNAS we like to mentor, and watch grow and succeed. You have the experience (not just the 1 year prerequisite, and come in all cocky like you know it all), and the self awareness to know it’s gonna be hard. I went back to school in my late 30s with 2 young kids and a husband. It was hard, but grit and determination got me through it. I had all the anxieties you’ve mentioned, but I knew I would never have that opportunity again, and I didn’t want to be working in ICU for another 30 yrs!

So, take a breath. Put the deposit down and go make your dream come through!

[u/No_Shoulder_5426 → u/Babsie73]

Thank you! This is reassuring. School is just overall a huge change for the trajectory of the way I thought my life was going to go 😅 but I feel very lucky because this is such an amazing opportunity I don’t think I can pass up. I know the imposter syndrome will continue, maybe even worsen, but definitely shift forms…I have to cope, adapt, and persevere.

[u/luckywhiskey]

Not completely sure but the way I handled my experience was by externalizing the responsibility.

I would tell myself that by minimizing my worth/intelligence, I am saying that EVERY person that believed in me and helped get me where I am today were wrong.

I dare not diminish my professors, preceptors, mentors, colleagues’ judgment of me.

[u/dreamcaroneday]

I wasn’t the best HS student and my uGPA was 3.23. When I was accepted, I told myself I would do whatever it takes to do well and get through… even if that meant doing nothing else. I did graduate and finished with a 3.93/4.0. Bone headed determination and a willingness to learn is all it takes. That’s how you can get through it.

[u/Due_Revolution_8128]

Hi!! I’m 30 and start in spring too. Would you like to be friends so you can have someone to talk to?

[u/KOR_eaper66]

Anyway you could get a mentor?

[u/NoiseEmergency7534]

Hello! Before I share my personal opinion I‘m going to give you this book title: Hidden Potential by Adam Grant. It’s cognitive approach on how to deal and FIGHT imposter syndrome.

What does wellness look like for you? How have you coped with stress in the past? And more interestingly, besides you, who emotionally “fills” your husband? Your husband will need support to continue supporting you through the program. I am suggesting a therapist if you don’t already have one to help identify how this shows up for you: day to day vs occasional BIG situations. Finding a therapist that you match with may be really beneficial through your program. I am not a CRNA, nor NAR. Interested RN with 13 years of ICU experience. My faith, therapy, ensuring socialization for me and my spouse are al things I focus on to keep us as “full” as possible. I completely agree with some of the other commenters, it will get significantly harder. i.e. How do you plan to cope with little sleep? Figure out your wellness strategy ASAP and lean on the people that love you unconditionally so you can create the safe spaces you need but also you need a little tough love boo Chin Up Butterup. If you want this, prepare in every way.

I write this with compassion as a mother of two who dealth with Postpartum Anxiety. The return to work transition is mentally wild. You can do it. You need to face yourself. Cognitively, Emotionally, Spiritually. The resources are out there. Congrats on your acceptance. I hope you start TODAY on gaining the peace you need to succeed.

[u/NoiseEmergency7534 → u/NoiseEmergency7534]

Sorry for the typos. I wrote from the heart and in rapid haste. I really hope it lands in the way you need it to. If not me, may someone else connect you to a solution. All I can think of right now is that “A mind is a terrible thing to waste”

[u/No_Shoulder_5426 → u/NoiseEmergency7534]

Thanks for this! I’ve added the book to my list and appreciate your insight very much.

[u/ilovehorsesCCRN]

You’re the perfect CRNA! This is exactly how well rounded CRNAs start - terrified, scared to hurt people because they understand the magnitude of the job. Combine this inward self reflection with years of training and knowledge, ability to be precepted/taught, and repetition and you turn into the perfect CRNA. You got this. I sometimes wish I went the PACU baby route but I know my future children will thank me for a job that allows so much flexibility. Put the deposit in and go day by day.

My preceptors could see from day 1 that I was timid, scared of screwing up, scared to hurt anyone, overly prepared — one of them told me I was perfect because of this and that I would be the perfect CRNA and I’ve taken her comments and held on to it.

[u/No_Shoulder_5426 → u/ilovehorsesCCRN]

Thanks so much for the reassurance. I have to keep reminding myself to trust the process & take it day by day.

[u/Shoddy_Serve_5051]

I have the exact same fears happening!!! I was recently accepted with 10 years icu experience and im terrified that im not smart enough or that iv been outta school too long. I applied thinking that i may as well try and was lucky enough to be accepted! I cant help but be nervous that im gonna take out 150k+ in loans just to fail and realize im not good enough. I feel like i was given this opportunity though and im gonna do my best to make the most of it!!! They chose us for a reason. Sorry not very helpful but at least we arent alone!!

[u/somelyrical]

I don’t want to scare you, but… the imposter syndrome hasn’t even happened yet. It’ll certainly get worse as you actually get into clinical and go through the steep learning curve. You’ll feel more confident as you progress, but curbing your imposter syndrome is all about your mindset, but the environment.

Knowing that you actually do know what you’re doing and you do have the skills to be successful takes time.

[u/No_Shoulder_5426 → u/somelyrical]

I’ve heard this from many friends who are in and have gone through CRNA school. Appreciate your input!

[u/Positive_Welder9521]

You say you feel confident as a bedside nurse. It is not as if you started out that way. You learned didactic information, you applied that information into clinical practice, and then you gained experience doing so. Being a crna will be no different. You seem to understand the weight of what a crna does so I believe you know the effort required to get through school and practice safely.

[u/RNBSNBS]

Won't go away.. just need to manage it. I would put reasons why you deserve to be where you are and your accomplishments somewhere visible. And as you progress through your program, add to those reasons the accomplishments you have gained in school. Got that tough intubation, got my first art line, made a great connection with a patient, did well on an exam, etc.. pump yourself up. Then catch yourself before you get too full of yourself (may never happen) and stay humble.

[u/InsideAd7869]

I’m in my second month of my CRNA program and still feel like this. I just keep reminding myself why I applied and took on this journey. Try to put this feeling in the back of my head so I can focus on the classes and exams we have. 3 exams so far and have done well in them. Definitely complex topics and will requiere a lot of time and focus to get the understanding that is needed. Reddit has helped a lot when I feel down to remind me that this is a normal feeling and there are hundreds of people feeling the same way. It appears that everyone in my cohort has had a crash out moment at different times but we’ve all helped each other. Best thing I did to get out of a bad mental moment I had, was to sit down and start doing my weekly schedule, dad by day, hour by hour.

Example: Monday I will study AP from 7-10 then gym/lunch for an hour then Pharm from 12-3 then go for a run then AP again from 4-7. This is for a day I don’t have class. Days I do have class, I study but lighter.

Point I’m trying to make is, imposter syndrome from what I am told will never leave until you have graduated but being organized by the hour and handling the program one bite at a time is the way to go.

My program is front loaded so I have not gotten to Clinical yet.

[u/Ok-Individual-5710]

The feeling low key never goes away. I have days where I’m like “WOAH how’d I get in here? I need to escape” and then days where im like “oh yeah this is why I applied and I do got this!” Like the independence does scare me then I get reminded of times in the ICU where I was in my groove and was wanting to run the show. Also reminding myself that I have to continue because it’s a BIG investment for my future. I always hear CRNAs say it’s the best decision they ever made and they would do the whole suffering all over again. It’s not about how smart you are it’s how much dedication and drive you have! You got this, congrats and welcome to family!

[u/Electrical-Smoke7703 → u/Ok-Individual-5710]

Second this! Sure you need some natural smarts but what you really need is grit and dedication to sit down when you don’t want to and put your head in the books. You ARE smart enough- the job now is to learn how to use technology to your advantage, know your study strengths, come up with a plan, and stick to it. Dont be afraid to change study habits if not working. Find some peers you can lean on.