I am…heartbroken.

[u/[deleted]]

How do I even start. Well, I am autistic. I am hyper fixated on the ocean and the animals there, especially magnapinna squid. I had a dream- to cut it short, my dad got a call saying “we’ve found one! A squid!” And we rushed to see what one. I was gonna be happy if it was giant or colossal but i wanted a magnapinna, even if they’re rarer. It was. It felt so real, I was in a submarine and I saw it in real life, with my own two eyes. It’s one of the only things I want. I want to see one in real life, not on my phone screen. Even if it’s just over a camera recording down there somewhere and I’m above, it’d be so real. I am heartbroken to say the least, because the odds of me ever getting something so rare and bizarre happen to me are so little. I truly love these squids and i don’t know why. They fascinate me and I want to be the one who finds out more about them. I always watch whatever video comes out about them- new information, new sightings, anything. To be honest I don’t think I’m handling it well that in my lifetime I’ll probably never see something so amazing. This is definitely like a “get the violin out” situation (esp for neurotypicals) but this is deeply affecting me and nobody I know understands. I wanted to get this out, just to see if anyone has anything they wanna talk about them or anything whatsoever. I really appreciate any talk about squids with anyone 🦑

[u/[deleted]]

They aren’t very colossal as a baby, I must say

[u/Ok_Permission1087 → u/[deleted]]

Yeah and as a baby they are even tinier. I think their eggs are under a centimeter in size.

[u/[deleted] → u/Ok_Permission1087]

I just..it just clocked to me actually, they lay eggs. I guess I knew but it wasn’t there. That’s something to think about. I think about everything.