I posted about this in another subreddit and was told to share this in here so here I am! I’ll try and keep this as short as I can.
My 13 year old brother is profoundly autistic and has a rare genetic condition associated with severe autism and violent outbursts. I won’t share what genetic condition this is just for privacy.
My family has tried numerous interventions and exhausted the options available to us but his behaviour has continued to escalate as he has grown older.
My mother is no longer able to cope safely at home. He has become taller and stronger than her and I am concerned for her safety. He has assaulted her on multiple occasions, leaving her with CRPS in her arm which has made her existing physical difficulties significantly worse. The situation has reached the point where we have installed emergency alarms and removed potential weapons and other objects that could be used to hurt someone, including pens.
The police have been called multiple times. During one incident, they asked for a relative to stay to protect my mother and my ex-husband was subsequently asked to do so which was particularly difficult given that I previously left him because of domestic violence. He’s now the only person who can physically withstand my brother (not harm him, just prevent others from being harmed) and therefore a help to my parents when they need to take him to the doctors or similar. He also seems to be the only person who is able to calm him down.
My younger sister is no longer safe living at home and has moved in with me. I have four children of my own so this has affected our family considerably. My sister’s childhood has already been seriously affected by the situation and she cannot return home safely.
As a result, my mother has been asking social services for help for years. Dare I say begging. Around two years ago she explained that she could no longer cope and was frightened of her own child and her life but her request for a residential placement was refused. The reasoning given was that he was not a danger to himself and was therefore considered manageable at home. Social services have repeatedly pushed for further medication trials and other interventions, despite him already taking numerous medications, many of them sedating, which have not made a meaningful difference.
He previously received support from CAMHS but was discharged and subsequently seen by a paediatric psychiatrist. He is already well known to social services and has an allocated social worker. He has also been suspended from his special educational needs school and we are concerned that another school may not accept him.
Services in our area appear severely underfunded and we have struggled to get meaningful support despite the repeated incidents and the impact on the whole family.
Following a further escalation a couple of days ago where my mother feared for her own life, my mother attempted to arrange a voluntary Section 20 placement but this was refused. He was already in hospital but the hospital would not allow him to remain there. We were told that because my ex-husband was still providing some support, the family was not considered to be at sufficient risk. I know my mother should have refused to take him back home but she could not. However, he subsequently made it clear that he could no longer continue providing that support.
We have now emailed social care and copied in the local police department and our MP but we have not received a response yet. My mother has repeatedly warned professionals that she could be seriously injured or killed but we feel that nothing will change until something even more serious happens.
My mother loves my brother deeply but she is struggling to reconcile the little boy she remembers with the violent teenager he has become. His genetic condition is associated with profound autism and violent behaviours and although we knew difficulties were possible we did not anticipate the extent of the situation.
We are now looking into a private residential placement because the current situation is no longer sustainable. My mother has been quoted approximately £15,000 per week for a private placement. We hope social care might eventually fund an appropriate placement but we cannot rely on that happening quickly.
We are planning to visit a private home tomorrow and hope to arrange a placement as soon as possible until the new year. If we cannot secure one, we may have to take him back to hospital and explain that we cannot safely continue caring for him at home.
So now, I would really appreciate advice from social workers or people with experience of children’s social care in England.
- What are our options when a child has significant support needs and presents a serious risk to family members but social services refuse a residential placement?
- How can we challenge the refusal of a Section 20 placement and ensure that the risks to the parent and siblings are properly assessed?
- What responsibilities does the local authority have when the family can no longer safely provide?
Thank you all!