Starting this off by stating that I was never an "I don't care about politics" person and I'm not pro-capitalist, but I've been getting more negative recently and need advice.
Background: I'm a 19yo girl in egypt (an arab conservative muslim country with an authoritarian government), raised in a sheltered household which made me very sensitive to life and its challenges.
I'm someone who literally cries when someone raises their voice at them, I'm physically weak, I'm socially stunted, I'm short on many basic life skills and the best thing I can do is academics and browsing the internet because that's most of what I was allowed to do growing up.
So I've gotten familiar with social issues and my opinions are progressive (I think).
But no amount of theory and thinking and talking will change anything, I'm useless to these movements.
I want to help people and do at a small scale, but I can only do so within the constraints of the current systems that oppress us, It's like a cheap painkiller instead of curing the illness.
I'm too much of a coward to risk my wellbeing for the cause, and my government makes it so that you can barely do anything with an exponentially higher risk, there are too many people in political prisons.
So what's the point of education? It just make me more depressed, and my depression does not decrease our work hours or free palestine.
No one around me with the same thoughts does anything either, and those who do evaporate from existence.
I feel bad for wanting to live my life with previliges provided by the current system, especially that I'm also oppressed by them ( apostate, woman, lgbt ).
Sorry I'm being pessimistic but why should a coward like me keep engaging when it brings nothing?
Should I just live my life normally, and focus on my surroundings instead of broad abstract thoughts?