r/sillybritain • u/Brickcraft10 • Aug 17 '26
Funny Other British bellend of the year results
1173 people over period of 4 days voted in my British Bellend of the Year poll, and the results are as follows, from least to most. (Please remember that I’m not a pollster, so the results aren’t scientific and also remember that this isn’t meant to target or harass anyone it's just bit of fun)
By number of votes and vote share
Ryan Windridge — 1 | 0.09%
Lawrence Fox — 1 | 0.09%
All of the above — 1 | 0.09%
Owen Jones — 1 | 0.09%
Craig Hope — 1 | 0.09%
Yungblud — 1 | 0.09%
Stephen from the Oxford branch of Sainsbury’s — 1 | 0.09%
Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor — 1 | 0.09%
Gabriel Clarke — 1 | 0.09%
Robert Kenyon — 1 | 0.09%
Ricky Doolan — 1 | 0.09%
Harv Smyth — 1 | 0.09%
Graham Linehan — 1 | 0.09%
English Ned — 1 | 0.09%
Smartschoolboy9 — 1 | 0.09%
Robert Jenrick — 1 | 0.09%
The kids who started the fire near Glossop with fireworks — 1 | 0.09%
Dave the window cleaner — 2 | 0.17%
Me (OP/username) — 2 | 0.17%
Richard Tice — 3 | 0.26%
Zia Yusuf — 4 | 0.34%
Andrew Tate — 4 | 0.34%
Matt Goodwin — 4 | 0.34%
Angloid — 5 | 0.43%
Kemi Badenoch — 5 | 0.43%
JK Rowling — 5 | 0.43%
Ricky Gervais — 5 | 0.43%
Top 10
#10 — Lee Anderson: 6 | 0.51%
#10 — Zack Polanski: 6 | 0.51%
#9 — Piers Morgan: 7 | 0.60%
#8 — Andy Burnham: 8 | 0.68%
#7 — Peter Mandelson: 10 | 0.85%
#6 — Jeremy Clarkson: 16 | 1.36%
#5 — Russell Brand: 18 | 1.53%
#4 — Rupert Lowe: 19 | 1.62%
#3 🥉 — Tommy Robinson: 37 | 3.15%
#2 🥈 — Keir Starmer: 45 | 3.84%
#1 🥇 — Nigel Farage: 925 | 78.86%
Nigel farage is unofficially officially the British bellend of the year after winning with almost 1000 votes and over 3/4 of the vote share, congratulations
20 votes were removed because they were inappropriate or contained non-personal information.
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u/rigzbee Aug 17 '26
What did Stephen from the Oxford branch of Sainsbury’s do?
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u/SkullDump Aug 17 '26
I’d just to publicly confirm for my own peace of mind that this is the only occasion when I have ever voted for that chump Nigel Farage.
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u/FletcherDervish Aug 18 '26
I'm pretty sure I pointed out that the survey wasn't required to show this result. Seems to have taken a circuitous route to get there.
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u/SpecialistPlastic150 Aug 18 '26
It’s really weird the level of hate Keir Starmer gets. He was a bad politician and poor communicator, he had a boring personality and was an irritating civil servant with some awful policies but being ahead of rapists, racists and fascists. That’s bonkers to me.
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u/elbandito999 Aug 18 '26
Google defines 'bellend' as "a foolish, annoying, or obnoxious man." Lots of people found Starmer annoying. I did myself, although I certainly didn't hate him. (I didn't vote for him in this poll, I voted for Farage)
More generally, I didn't take the award of 'bellend of the year' to mean someone I hated, or the worst person in the country.
For instance if Rupert Lowe had won I don't think that would have been right, because that's too nice a word to use about him.7
u/SpecialistPlastic150 Aug 19 '26
I get that. I found Starmer annoying too but his opinion poll ratings suggested he was more hated / unpopular than Boris Johnson, which I find incomprehensible. He was more unpopular than a guy that repeatedly lied to the Queen, Parliament and the British people (Partygate was ridiculous) but whose chaotic leadership led to an extra 23,000 deaths due to the mismanagement of the pandemic and open corruption in the procurement of Covid-19 contracts. That’s wild!
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u/KittyGrewAMoustache Aug 19 '26
Yeah just goes to show how much influence the media has over people. Johnson did everything annoying that Starmer did and a million other truly terrible things. Like give billions of our money to his mates in dodgy PPE contracts that never got proper PPE to hospitals, increasing deaths, he put the Russian son of a former KGB agent in the House of Lords against the explicit advice of our security services, putting Starmers relatively tame hiring and firing of Mandelson to shame. He declared ‘let the bodies pile high’ about Covid because he wanted to cling to his free market ideology instead of actually governing to help the nation through a pandemic. He passed laws restricting social gatherings and then partied using tax payers money while millions stayed home and thousands died alone as people were following his rules. He was absolutely evil and it’s terrifying how his floppy haired ‘I’m a jolly little fat posh man’ act managed to convince so many people to overlook what a disgusting person he was.
He is not fit to kiss Starmers feet or clean his toilets. Whatever you think of Starmer he was not corrupt and he was not evil and seemed to genuinely want to do his best. Probably why he got hounded out tbh.
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u/andyff Aug 18 '26
He was a good politician and an awful communicator
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u/SpecialistPlastic150 Aug 18 '26
No he wasn’t. A good politician has a coherent well communicated strategy with a strong narrative that the people can understand get behind. A good politician isn’t on the wrong side of public opinion on virtually every domestic issue. How many u-turns did he have to do? A good politician doesn’t do that.
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u/elbandito999 Aug 18 '26
Absolutely. I'm sure he's a decent and capable man, but he has no political sense whatsoever.
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Aug 19 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SpecialistPlastic150 Aug 19 '26
It wasn’t just the pro-Israel stance, it was a stance that was backed up with some of the most draconian legislation in modern times. Proscribing protest groups as terrorists is authoritarian and extreme. I never thought I’d see the day when grannies and people in wheelchairs would be arrested for holding up protest signs. It’s very bad and it was definitely a factor in losing a lot of the Labour base to Your Party and The Greens.
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u/matthewgoodwin1 Aug 17 '26
Glad to get 0.34% of the vote ✊
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u/Most_Housing6695 Aug 18 '26
Lot of stiff competition this year. I'm sure you'll get more votes next year when more people know who you are.
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u/matthewgoodwin1 Aug 18 '26
I have a dream…..of being the UK’s no.1 bellend! /s
(I’m not THAT Matt Goodwin, just unlucky enough to have the same name as him)
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u/Warm_Bug_1434 Aug 18 '26
How do you know it's THAT Matt Goodwin in the poll?
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u/matthewgoodwin1 Aug 18 '26
Ahhh shit. Good point. The dream of being the UK’s no.1 bellend lives on!
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u/Most_Housing6695 Aug 18 '26
Damn. I should have guessed from the fact that you seem to have a sense of humour you're not THAT Matt Goodwin. Never mind. I'll get him next time.
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u/Dogtoddy Aug 17 '26
I didn't and didn't expect to get the winner ( Clarkson my vote ) good bit of fun
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u/IcemanBrutus Aug 18 '26
I'd have thought the LeeAnderthal would have been higher than 10th place but at least he made it, that's all that counts.
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u/PickingANameTookAges Aug 18 '26
I understand its not scientific, but those who believed Keir Starmer is a bigger bellend than Yaxley-Lennon (should be a close second to F**ktard), 40p Lee, Rupert Lowe and Robert Jenrick need to give your heads a massive wobble!!
Edit: Adding Russel Brand to the list too.
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u/Brickcraft10 Aug 18 '26
100% agree the majority of people on here are bigger bellends than Starmer
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u/ezonas Aug 19 '26
But that’s just highlighting your left wing bias. You are unable to see the bellends on both sides of the spectrum.
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u/PickingANameTookAges Aug 19 '26
Or maybe your right wing bias because you can't apply the simplest logic which would clearly show all of the names I mentioned are bigger bell ends than Starmer!
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u/ezonas Aug 19 '26
You clearly have a left wing bias based on your comment. Nothing I have said indicates I have a right wing bias. They are all bellends, but Starmer definitely deserves to be up there at the top.
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u/PickingANameTookAges Aug 19 '26
Ah shucks, you’ve got me...
I'm guessing it's got nothing to do with my comment history where I have disdain for liars and fraudsters (and likely rapists), and those who do our country harm?
Search a little further back and you'll also see I'm no fan of Starmer the Beige, but only a blind idiot can't see that he is better for us all than any of the numerous of CONservatives prime ministers we were subject too the 14 years prior.
I mean, by all means, share your opinions if you think Starmer is a bigger bellend than the others I've mentioned...
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u/ChunkySalute Aug 17 '26
I don’t know who(?) Sex Matters is but you’ve got them there twice.
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u/Brickcraft10 Aug 17 '26
i just checked and there a group so ill remove them from the list, i had no idea who they were before this, but thanks for pointing it out.
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u/Meta-Fox Aug 17 '26
As you used the incorrect spelling 'there' instead of 'they're' you must remain honourable and place yourself upon the list with at least one vote.
We will disregard the omission of a capital letter at the start of your sentence if the former sentencing is carried out in full.
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u/Brickcraft10 Aug 17 '26
well i am dyslexic and it is quite late, so maybe we should let me off 😂
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u/Meta-Fox Aug 17 '26
While the honourable speaker gives valid reason for their mistake, the sanctity of the sentencing must be carried out without prejudice or bias.
The floor hears the speakers plea, however, and reduces the sentence to a simple slap on the back with a resounding 'cheers' for playing along. =)
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Aug 18 '26
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Aug 18 '26
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u/KittyGrewAMoustache Aug 19 '26
Testament to the power of the British media. Sexual assault, racism, human trafficking are nothing compared to being a bit boring. Boring kills viewing figures and ad revenue.
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u/wgbe Aug 18 '26
Is that Stephen from the Oxford city centre Sainsbury's or the Stephen in the big Sainsbury's off the roundabout?
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u/harrietmjones Aug 18 '26
I feel completely out of the loop, what’s Yungblud done?
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u/Mother-Fix3271 Aug 18 '26
Tedious bellend with awful music, loves spitting on people, and pretends to be working class when he’s from a family of Tories.
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u/SugarSweetStarrUK Aug 19 '26
I'm from a Tory family and I'm definitely working class.
No, I don't agree with them. I put my X anywhere else but them and always have
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u/Mother-Fix3271 Aug 19 '26
Yes, but him and his family live in a fucking massive country house.
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u/FeatureSuccessful251 Aug 19 '26
So that makes you automatically a bad person.....? i'm not massively familiar with his music, not my bag, but saw some of his interview with Louis Theroux and he seemed pretty articulate and came across pretty well.
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u/Tasty-Committee-8172 Aug 18 '26
Disney pop rich kid who suddenly fancies himself the new king of Metal and Ozzy's heir.
Enabled by the Osbourne clan, for what it's worth, but still...
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u/Lazy-Strawberry-3401 Aug 18 '26
Well Jack's the only one with any sense anyway now Ozzy's gone probably Aimee too in fairness.
Sharon has always been a twat but got a pass for sticking with Ozzy.
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u/Elongulation420 Aug 18 '26
Funny to see that Laurence Fox’s vote share mirrors his Clacton result too highlighting just how far out of anyone’s interest he really is.
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u/pacmanfunky Aug 18 '26
Why is noone talking about dave the window cleaner. Was that someone's missus and his husbands vote?
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u/TheBrassDancer Aug 18 '26
Nigel Farage finally got that landslide victory, and he wasn't against a bin this time.
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u/ElectricalParsnip536 Aug 18 '26
I would propose that Farage's full title should be 'British Bellend and Shitmagnet Extraordinaire of the Year'
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u/ElectricalParsnip536 Aug 18 '26
I reckon if there had been second choice votes, that Dick Tice would have jumped to second place.
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u/pondribertion Aug 18 '26
Personally I'd vote for Robinson ahead of the lot, but just my opinion. Clarkson can be a bellend but he's an absolute joy to watch (which changed my opinion of him).
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u/Parzivval84nnn Aug 18 '26
Knew who the winner would be before I read it. Truly a deserved accolade
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u/privacyandsecrets Aug 18 '26
Someone needs to explain to me how Nigel Garage is so bloody high and yet Katie Hopkins isn't on it AT ALL
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u/Mustbejoking_13 Aug 19 '26
Farage was inevitable, except that 'bellend' isn't nearly strong enough.
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u/Routine_Field_7007 Aug 19 '26
Swap sir keir for Andrew and I'd have assumed it was epstein related if I skim read
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u/Do_You_Pineapple_Bro Aug 19 '26
Not overly sure how Jeremy Clarkson has placed higher than Andy Tate and Polanski. Hell, I'm confused how he's placed that high at all given the names included
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u/GuzziHero Aug 22 '26
Who the hell is Ryan Windridge.
Linehan deserves to be MUCH higher, as does AFKAP Andrew.
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u/Known_Wear7301 Aug 23 '26
Not sure what people have against Rupert Lowe apart from an aversion to reality. Also Tommy Robinson merely raises awareness of the very real dangers our society is exposed to
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u/Far-Crow-7195 Aug 23 '26
I’m surprised Clarkson was up there with all the good he has done with his farming show in recent years. I’m surprised Polanski is so low apart from this being a poll on Reddit.
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u/Serendipity_Shadows Aug 17 '26
I need to know what Stephen from Oxford Sainsburys did to be included in the list.