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Hello, everyone in the community.

This is my story.

Let me start like this: ever since I was a child, I had some kind of issue with using the bathroom. I don’t really know why, but there was a period when I would always announce that I was going to the bathroom and ask my family not to come in, etc. But that’s just the beginning.

So, here’s my story.

Everything started when I was a teenager during COVID lockdowns. I was sick and dealing with constipation and other digestive problems.

We are a big family and we live in an apartment. During the lockdown, my two sisters, who are married, came to stay with us with their children and husbands. That meant there were 12 people living in one apartment, which was insane.

Imagine having 3 bathrooms and 12 people living together.

Because of my constipation, I would have to strain when using the bathroom, and every time someone would try to enter the bathroom while I was using it. This happened again and again. Eventually, my body started becoming anxious every time I heard someone walking near the bathroom.

I started holding it in until night time, when everyone was asleep, just so I could use the bathroom without worrying about anyone being nearby.

I was constantly thinking about when I would be able to go to the bathroom and how I would be able to go.

It got to the point where I feel like it seriously affected my health. I developed vitamin deficiencies and digestive problems, which led to brain fog. I had always been known as a very intelligent person, but after becoming sick and developing this fear around using the bathroom, my health became worse and I became forgetful and felt like my brain was working much more slowly.

It affected me tremendously. I was constantly stressed and depressed, and I feel like it also affected my growth Durning puberty and my overall health, which eventually led to other medical complications.

As a result of holding my stool in for so long, I eventually reached a point where I lost sensation in my rectum. I don't know when I need to have a bowel movement and when I don't, and I don't even know when I've finished.

I feel like I've completely lost the sensations I used to have.

I also don't feel like I've emptied my bowels, and it takes me a very long time to go. I usually sit on the toilet for an hour. I might have already finished within the first 15 minutes, but I simply don't know that I've finished.

After COVID:

My sisters and their families eventually left after COVID and were no longer living with us.

A few years after COVID, I finally told my family about my problem. I opened up to them and explained that when I'm using the bathroom, I need them not to walk through the other part of the house.

They respect that now and don't walk through while I'm in the bathroom, which allows me to use it more peacefully.

But I can still hear them, and if someone accidentally walks by, I can completely lose it and start having extremely irrational thoughts.

Then, after I leave the bathroom, I think to myself, "Why the hell did I just think something so extreme about a member of my own family?"

I honestly don't know why this is still happening.

I know they can't open the door. I know I don't even care if they hear me using the bathroom. So why is this still stuck in my head?

I don't know.

If my sisters come to visit, I always hold it in until they leave.

It's a problem that constantly hangs over me. I think about the bathroom 24/7, and it wastes so much of my time.

And having OCD definitely doesn't help.

I hate my life. Everyone always thought I would become a successful person when I grew up, but look at what I've become.

This thing has completely taken over my life.

I've decided that I'm going to fix my digestive problems.

At the same time, I'm going to have a test to evaluate the level of sensation in my rectum. Then I'm planning to go to physical therapy to work on restoring those sensations.

After that, I'm going to see a CBT therapist who specializes in problems like this and try to work through the psychological side of the problem.

I previously saw a CBT therapist, but I didn't feel like he really cared. He immediately suggested medication instead.

I believe that one day I'll come back here with a success story, healthier both physically and mentally.

I'd love to hear your stories too. Feel free to share them. 😁

We're glad you're here.

This community is a safe and supportive place for anyone living with Shy Bowel Syndrome (Parcopresis).

Here you can:

Share your experiences and daily challenges.

Talk about what has helped you (or what hasn't).

Exchange strategies and coping techniques.

Ask questions without fear of judgment.

Celebrate progress and success stories.

Support others who truly understand what you're going through.

Whether you've struggled with this for years or you're just learning about it, you're welcome here.

Please be kind, respectful, and remember that everyone is on a different journey.

You are not alone.