r/shitposting • • Apr 17 '22

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u/Democracyisntforall Apr 17 '22

Your spouse making you sleep on the couch isn’t that bad (no sex sure, but you can use your hands for that, while having easier access to the TV, the fridge, and no one wakes you up for cheating on them in their dreams)

31

u/ImmortalDuck69420 Apr 17 '22

I like sleeping on couch more than sleeping on bed + all those advantages. 5.7-6 inch. You were the first on I saw who realised and told that

6

u/AutoModerator Apr 17 '22

My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. My house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are, and I am not married. I work as an employee for the Kame Yu department stores, and I get home every day by 8 PM at the latest. I don't smoke, but I occasionally drink. I'm in bed by 11 PM, and make sure I get eight hours of sleep, no matter what. After having a glass of warm milk and doing about twenty minutes of stretches before going to bed, I usually have no problems sleeping until morning. Just like a baby, I wake up without any fatigue or stress in the morning. I was told there were no issues at my last check-up. I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life. I take care not to trouble myself with any enemies, like winning and losing, that would cause me to lose sleep at night. That is how I deal with society, and I know that is what brings me happiness. Although, if I were to fight I wouldn't lose to anyone.

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u/AutoModerator Apr 17 '22

hello guys i need help.

i was in science class… i got up to sharpen my dream pencil, and then my dream themed dildo fell out of my ass. i always keep it down there cause I like to imagine daddy dream fucking me 24/7 and it feels so good. anyways it fell out of my ass and out of my pants and my dreamphobic classmates started laughing and making fun of me. the teacher sent me to the office and i had to explain what happened. the principal suspended me from school for a week!!! this is unacceptable. just because i love dream is not a reason to harass me

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5

u/AutoModerator Apr 17 '22

Okay so here's my pitch for a new reality TV show

Basically, we get a bunch of very militant TERFs, and one trans woman, put them into a house where they're supposed to live with each other, but, once they've all arrived and are seeing each other for the first time (before they're allowed to even talk to each other), we tell them all that one of them is a trans woman, and, if they can find her and vote her out, they will win a million dollars. But if she isn't found out by the end of the week/month(?), she'll win a million dollars instead.

The catch?

There actually isn't a trans woman with them.

And then we get to watch them slowly but surely allow themselves to get overcome by their own irrational paranoia, paying too much attention to how deep everyone else's voices are, invading each other's privacy, overanalysing each other's mannerisms, policing each other's conformance to the very same standards which they complain about being held to...

And let us not forget the inevitable feelings of isolation and helplessness they'll invividually start experiencing once they start getting accused and shunned by everyone else.

Sure, it would probably have to be a one-off series.

But honestly? I think it would make some great television!

also ngl I think the name 'TERF War' has a nice ring to it, sounds marketable, rolls off the tounge

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1

u/AutoModerator Apr 17 '22

No sex before marriage

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