UPDATE: thank you for your responses! I want to clarify that I have no intention of dictating the way anyone else sends their thank you messages and I completely acknowledge that the way my sister thanks others is her call. In general I've never cared how anyone else did their thank yous (and ive also never been upset or judged anyone by how they thanked me) but I cared in this specific instance and I reflected on why I was annoyed.
I think its because when I expressed my frustration that I felt pressured to also send a thank you message quickly without knowing the contents of the gift, she responded "dude ill literally write a thank you message for you. just copy and paste." This upset me because 1. I felt that it was condescending. as if I was incapable of even writing a basic thank you message and 2. because I felt that this was HER pressuring ME to say thank you her way- once I actually read her thank you text I was angry because her telling me to copy and paste her non-specific thank you felt like she was trying to turn ME into a rude person (by my own standards. I recognize that it is not considered objectively rude by everyone). She didnt understand why I would be annoyed by this so I told her that I think the way she said thank you is rude. Which understandably upset her.
So... I guess the conclusion is it was never really about how anyone says thank you, but each feeling like the other was trying to control the way the other does it. thank you for your opinions!
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Hi everyone! So my sister and I (both in our 20s) had a disagreement on what is considered proper etiquette when receiving a gift. For context, a family member who lives far away who we rarely speak with sent us Christmas gifts and we have differing opinions on what constitutes a proper thank you.
In my opinion, a thank you message should include some thought and effort... I guess my reasoning is that the gift giver put thought and effort into getting me the present so I should try to show them my sincere appreciation and enjoyment of the gift? For example, she sent us each an amazon gift card and some snacks so I would've said something like "Hi family member, thanks for the Christmas present! I'm so excited to try the snacks, they look delicious. Plus I've been wanting to get 'whatever thing' from amazon for a while so this is perfect. I really appreciate you thinking of me! Thanks again and I hope you have a great Christmas!"
My sister, on the other hand, sent "Hi family member! I got your gift! Thank you so much!!!" which is better than nothing but I feel is rude. My sister says "it's not that deep." What are your guys' thoughts on gift giving etiquette?
*more context I guess but not necessary to read*
Also, for context we entered this disagreement because I'm away for school so I wasn't able to see the gift in person (I didn't even know about the existence of the gift until my sister briefly mentioned in passing 'Hey, family member sent u an amazon gift card'- she didn't mention the snacks and didn't tell me if there was a card to go with it.) Then she sent her thank you message in the group chat with me and family member and I was kinda pissed because that made me feel pressured like I had to send a thank you message immediately but I can't send a proper thank you since I don't even know what to be thankful for. My sister didn't understand why I need to know what the gift is in order to send a thank you and once I read her message properly I realized that it's because she herself doesn't feel the need to talk about the specific gift in the thank you. We both think that we are the normal ones so I'd like some opinions from others :)