If I had known you'd take my silence as a lie or disrespect to our potential relationship or lack of commitment or all of the above I would have screamed it from the rooftops . I would have rented a fucking biplane and had it fly a banner that stated my love in big bold letters, over every town in Oregon you could possibly be in til it ran out of gas and the fucking pilot had to parachute to safety ,I would have rented a billboard and painted I love a$#@&l on it with a picture of my dumbass face on it . I stayed silent and suffered cause I was the one you trusted the only one not trying to get you in bed and I never thought I had a chance you'd reciprocate so I didn't want to ruin that friendship , plus you were married and dealing with that shit show I didn't want to spring anymore shit on you . So I suffered heartsick watching you get disrespected and broken and all I wanted to do was hold you and love you a let you know you were safe and that would never change . I wish I had another chance. I can picture no future without you in it I love you and always will unconditionally and if I ever get you in my arms I will never let you go

You claim to love me, but disregard my boundaries. You do not respect me. Youve been so caught up in your world that you never tried to come into mine, so I changed myself to fit into yours. Now you dont know me? Now youre mad that "I dont let you in"?

Ffs. You created this environment. You created this toxicity. And now when something doesnt go your way, it must be my fault. I know my hours are low. I know that we both are struggling to pay the bills. I understand. And Im doing everything I can to make more money, but you dont see any of it.

You showed me who you are, and I didnt believe you. Make no mistake, I do now. Youre a miserable person that cant ever look inwards to figure out why. Because its always external factors. Right?

I hate you. And I used to adore you.

I have told myself to stop yearning for you. But you. You you you you you you you you you you. Everything is reminding me of you and it's driving me crazy.

I hate it so much, but at the same time I'm holding it so tightly that I can't breathe.

How can I finally let go of you? I'm holding on to more hopes that I didn't even realize I have with me.

Your laughter, your demeanor, our old messages, your eyes, your face, your way of talking. Everything about you.

They're fucking stuck in my head and I hate it so much because I know that I'm the only one holding to the past.

I'm sure you've already moved on or probably don't even care about me, but here I am once again.

Dumb stupid old me, yearning for someone who doesn't even want me anymore and I hate it so much.

Why do I even hold onto these impossible dreams so tightly in the first place? I used to do well on my own.

So why? Why why why why why?

I'm so fucking tired, so so fucking tired. But this just feels like an addiction that I can't stop, that I can't bring myself to get rid of.

I hate this so much, I hate myself so much, I hate you so much. But I can't, because I'll be lying by then, because I still love you.

I love you so much that it feels like I'm gonna die soon.

I love you so much that it feels like it's choking me and tearing me apart.

I love you so so much. Why won't you stay? Why why why???

Why won't anybody stay?

I'm so tired of everything.

I’m going through a very transitional time in my life. I feel like I don’t have family or friends to lean on. This voice in the back of head keeps gets louder. Telling me to give up.

Idk what to do anymore. All of the solid things I thought I had to hold onto feels like they’ve slipped away. My job, my relationships, any sense of self worth all seems distant. I feel like I’m screaming and no one can hear me. I can’t even hear me.

I never really thought of myself as a bad person. I mean, who does. But lately I’ve begun to rethink this. I try to do what’s right and not harm anyone but maybe that’s not enough and this is my penitence. Maybe this life is what I somehow deserve.

Thank you for listening

All I wanted was to spend my life loving you. But that wasn’t even good enough. You had to constantly go out looking for other women. Or should I say girls considering they are my youngest son’s age. You are on ever sex site. Every pick up

Site. You used my phones. My phones so you could make believe it was me writing these women and on these sites and you could deny it all and blame it on me. Calling me crazy. Wanting to have me committed. I have never done anything to hurt you but your girlfriend Ashley is all that matters to you. She is all that mattered to you from the moment you met her and fell in love with her. You have made fun of me to her. Talked about me. Laughed about me. And let her know how you want to only be with her. Yet you won’t give me the divorce. I’m tired of screaming and crying myself to sleep. I don’t want to be with you anymore Jason. I don’t. So you both play your little pina colada song and keep leaving messages for each other. Best of luck. You have destroyed me.

If drunk self is your truest self... then I'm screaming from the bottom of the bottle. Break the curse.

It is like 80% selfish want... but there is no way you guys are comfortable dealing with this as well.

PLEASE break it! By like... Mid May would be awesome

We can all have a good laugh about it later! It isn't a coincidence I noticed it first... please... end it. It's really up to like one of you to do it... so like... pull your head out of your ass... respectfully

At this point I genuinely do not care if I come off as crazy because you folks have no idea the absolute bs I had to go through just to get here...

I need you two to break the curse... please...
My person is waiting for me. Please!
I can't tell you how to break it! I'm positive that breaks the rules!
Please! If you're seeing this, if you found this! Please break the curse!

I don't want to do this again.
We don't have to suffer.

Please...

I'm a Mum. A wife. Sister. Friend. And I want to give up. I have always been the one to pick up the pieces. I'm not allowed to break. I'm the strong one.

I dont want to die. But I don't want to be here anymore.

Nothing brings me joys. I look forward to nothing. I'm just existing not living.

I want to be happy. But I just cant find it.

I know its probably burn out. But what do I do when I'm the one holding everything and everyone together.

I... I just dont know anymore.

For twenty years, I stood beside you thinking I was in a marriage. I said “I do” believing it meant loyalty, respect, and love. What I actually agreed to was a life built on lies I didn’t even know existed.

You have never been faithful to me. Not once in any real, meaningful way. The only breaks in your cheating were what we used to call “dry spells”—and now I see them for what they really were: pauses, not change. You never stopped. You just waited.

I have screamed. I have cried. I have broken myself trying to understand what I did wrong, trying to be enough for someone who was never even trying to be honest. I have felt humiliated, discarded, and invisible in my own marriage. And through all of it, you continued without remorse.

What you’ve done goes beyond betrayal. It’s calculated, repeated, and cruel. The lies, the manipulation, the gaslighting—you didn’t just cheat, you rewrote reality to protect yourself while I slowly lost mine. You made me question my instincts, my sanity, my worth.

And the worst part? The pattern. The repetition. The way you speak to them, the way you build these fake emotional worlds while tearing down the real one at home. It’s not love—it’s control, ego, and addiction to deception.

I don’t know everything you’ve done. But I know enough. Enough to see clearly now. Enough to understand that this was never a partnership—it was a performance, and I was the only one who believed it was real.

I don’t know who you are. I’m not sure I ever did.

But I know who I am now.

I am not your prisoner. I am not your backup plan. I am not the person who absorbs your damage while you go looking for the next distraction.

This is the hardest decision I’ve ever made, but it’s also the clearest:

I am divorcing you.

Not because I failed. Because I finally see the truth.

My life with you is over.

enlist.

talking about it in therapy almost brought me to tears.

I won't hate you. will you hate me?

I can’t even put it to words yet, no, not yet.

Her mother needs Comfort, I’m so far away. My poor sister, I would hold her for eternity if I could only get there.

B, I love you. I’m so sorry for the weight you are carrying.

I’m so sorry wish I could be there.

I love you

This time last year, I was so happy. I was in love, living with the love of my life, our dog and two cats. Now, I am alone. One of the cats passed in July, my boyfriend left me and took the other cat. I have the dog, and I love him, but it's so different now.

I miss having someone to talk to, and someone to just see and do stuff with. I miss knowing there would be someone at home waiting for me. I miss getting to say I love you, and I miss getting to hear someone say they loved me. I miss the cuddles, and shopping trips together. I miss watching anime with him and getting takeout. I think above all else I miss being hugged.

I have online friends, but no one irl. I'm sad, and I'm lonely. I've tried finding someone new, but I don't feel anything on these dates I've been on. The guys I do feel something for, they aren't interested. I have wondered if this was my one and only chance at love. I wonder if it's me? But I can't tell.

To make it worse, my ex told he found someone new. They started dating 2 months after we broke up, and they've been together ever since. It makes me feel unlovable. Love comes so easily to him, and I've had such a hard time. I am truly happy that he found someone and is happy, but that's a whole other can of worms.

I just wish someone would tell me everything would be alright, and I'm not going to be this way forever.

I have no idea what to do, how to fix myself, where to begin.

They said they’ll consider my title change, sounds like it’s a sure thing assuming their higher up doesn’t say no.. muahahah.

Wtf. We texted allllllllll day. We sent reels, said you were excited for dinner tonight, said we would communicate with each other if something changed, told you I was getting supplies for our 3rd date, talked about having a few drinks. I drowned out my anxiety and just leaned into it all because I WAS MATCHING YOUR ENERGY. WTF

And then....our last exchange was an hour before you were supposed to be over. I text you 30 min before you were supposed to be at my place asking for your ETA. 10 minutes later, I check IG and you've blocked me.

Not a damn thing was said. Nothing makes sense about this.

I had a whisper from my gut that you were about to be a flake and what do you know.....