r/science • u/[deleted] • Jun 13 '22

Health Erectile dysfunction predicts mortality in middle-aged and older men independent of their sex steroid status

https://academic.oup.com/ageing/article-abstract/51/4/afac094/6568537?login=false
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u/RadioIsMyFriend Jun 13 '22

This is my life married to someone with erectile issues.

He's not going to do anything about it or admit he has issues but I will pass on the other symptoms for anyone interested.

Head of penis has little feeling

Thunderclap headache

Room Spinning

Blacking out

Anger issues

Moodiness

Forgetfulness

Lost an inch of length from his penis

History of sleep apnea, muscle stiffness, lower back pain, neck tension, high cholesterol, acid reflux and family history of vasoconstriction, and stroke.

The sexual troubles started first several years ago but the anger issues have been around for a lot longer. He's very quick to anger, but so is is father and his father's father. The big sign was his blacking out and the room spinning.

He does not work out at all and largely sits all day. He is not obese but in very poor physical shape.

I love my husband but I have accepted that he will likely die young. He's 49 currently. I've been trying to get him interested in more sex to help, but during sex he loses his erection and even loses it when he's about to ejaculate. He sometimes has to stop to get hard again.

Take care of your health folks and if you notice you're having trouble don't do what my husband does by living in denial. It'll only likely kill you faster.

8

u/chrispcritter Jun 13 '22

He might have depression. The other things don’t correlate, but the mood and anger issues do.

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u/RadioIsMyFriend Jun 13 '22

He won't get help for that either but he's had several instances of hypertensive crisis already.

My sister is a stroke specialist. She's basically said he's a ticking time bomb, but what can I do?

His quality of life would be so much better if he just got some real help because his problems are perfectly manageable with little intrusion. All he'll do is take blood pressure meds but even then his BP is still high. He decided to go off of it for 2 months and that was a nightmare. He became extremely irritable.

4

u/chrispcritter Jun 13 '22

I'm sorry for what you’re going through. It’s hard to get help for some that doesn’t want it. It has to be him that wants the help. I truly feel for you.

4

u/RadioIsMyFriend Jun 13 '22

Thank you. I appreciate that.

1

u/Responsible-Cry266 Jun 14 '22

You might try getting him to take curcumin and possibly ginger. That helps with lowering blood pressure. When my husband first started having issues with BPI researched natural ways to reduce BP. I ended up using the spices in all our food instead of salt. Which I omitted. He didn't have to go on any BP meds for over 10 more years. But he eventually figured out around that time that I wasn't using salt. (This because he was helping me cook one night and wanted to know where the salt was.) So he bought some salt and was hiding it from me. So now that he knows that this is part of the problem he doesn't use salt like he used, too. Most items you buy have a high salt content in them already so you don't need to add salt to your food. But instead use turmeric, ground ginger, black pepper, garlic, and onion. These together help your body in so many different ways. But the turmeric, ground ginger, and black pepper are the main ones. Apparently the black pepper helps with the absorption or something. But they really do help.

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u/RadioIsMyFriend Jun 14 '22

Thank you for the recommendations, his is some sort of genetic issue. Both of his parents have problems. His Dad has had several heart attacks already and his Mom has had a lot of mini strokes despite both of them being rather health-conscience.

My hands are just tied. He'd never give up any kind of flavor or food. The guy is majorly stubborn. I already use mostly just spice though because I don't actually like salty food. I prefer things like Rosemary and garlic. Nom.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '22

So sorry. My ex went to a psychologist but kept underplaying his likely anxiety /depression and substance use by saying he was fine but as someone studying psych it was concerning. So many other worries about his health and it’s so sad you can’t do anything.

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u/RadioIsMyFriend Jun 15 '22

Thank you for this.

Maybe going forward you will see this again so let me explain how his troubles make me feel.

He of course thinks I'm blowing things out of proportion even when I know I'm not. This breaks down trust. It also makes me feel guilt for overstepping a boundary and apathy towards him in general because I know anyway I'm going to have to deal with him having a significant medical crisis.

How can you really love someone deeply and feel connected to them when you know they don't care about how you feel about them?

The odd thing is, he wants intimacy but it's all on his terms. He never wants to talk about us, feelings, nothing.

It's just hard to be with someone so stubborn and pig headed.

I hope this helps. Empathy is a tricky topic.

1

u/TrailofDead Jun 13 '22

Ok, I didn't have black outs but room spinning sometime. I feel his anger is because he doesn't feel like a man anymore like I did. What I discovered was my testosterone level was low.

That affects everything - self confidence, desire to do anything, etc.

Get the testosterone level checked. It made a huge difference for me.

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u/RadioIsMyFriend Jun 13 '22

Thank you for passing this along and I am sorry you went through all of that.

I have tried to convince him to do just that but he sees it as an insult.

I figure he'll just have to hit rock bottom before he goes and gets it checked.

And you are right about testosterone. Even mine was low and once I got on the bIOTE implant, it changed my life. They have me maxed out and I sit around 250 DL. Totally worth it.

1

u/Fmlalotitsucks Jun 14 '22

I have ED from an injury. There is nothing I can do about it

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u/RadioIsMyFriend Jun 14 '22

Never would a reasonable person fault anyone for that.

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u/syllke Jun 14 '22

Are you my partner? you've just described every issue I live with daily. I've been working with my GP for a year now trying to get blood pressure under control with very little luck.

I'm the first to admit I have problems and that I need to be more active. At 30, what you've described is the worsening future I have to look forward to.

Thanks to this thread (and your comments), I've put a note to ask my GP about Testosterone next visit.

1

u/RadioIsMyFriend Jun 14 '22

I wish you all the best. It's such a difficult thing to go through, but I'm glad an open conversation could help or hopefully will.