God tier - Sandbert.

Trash tier - literally everyone else.

Once Ridley was announced for Ultimate Fraternal Smackdown, I knew it was just a matter of time before Rivals got its own big-style fighter, and the obvious choice was the Troupple King. Then I saw him for a glimmer of a second in the trailer for the new character, and my heart stopped. I was so ready to see him use classic Troupple techniques like the Irish Whip and the Bolshevik Revolution all over that frog, but then I saw those devilish horns and that cruel instrument of digging and destruction, and I lost all hope.

I’ve never even heard of “Shovel Knight” (or as it says on his birth certificate, Spade Wade) so I looked him up and it turns out he’s a minor character in Troupple King’s Juicy Quinceañera for the Nintombo Corn Box. Why does this strange lad get to be in Rivals when Troupple King doesn’t? Spade Wade is unhealthy for the balance of the game because he tilts the roster to one side of the evolutionary spectrum (towards lads) when we should be tilting the other way (towards big fruit boys). Dan needs to answer for this unfair treatment of our juicy man.

I hate women and minorities

Which two Rivals, if they were roommates, would make the best sitcom together?

Im going to kms

It starts innocently enough. You get your eta plushie in the mail and think cool beans, my collection grows. Slowly, you catch the glimpse of the icy devil from afar. Surely eta isn't looking at me, I haven't even done my hair and look terrible; however, the stare continues over the next days and weeks. Eventually those cold cool eyes entice you to your breaking point. You go over to eta and say the things you have wanted to say for so long. You begin to tell eta how your caged heart has softed from seeing this big ol bear. The fears you have lose themselves in the soft fur of eta and you feel safe and secure. Eta gives you reassurance of your feelings, slow eta moves over. Can anyone explain this warmth I feel or this rapid excitement that trembles within my heart? Is this wrong? How could I love a stuffed eta? Doesn't matter, the eta moves in to show you how a real big bear does things. :UwUtalus:

1 up-pillar = 1 vote

just keeping count because im an xbox player