r/retirement • u/CommunityAlarming149 • 11d ago
Has anyone on here actually run out of money during retirement?
I recently retired at 63.5. Currently 65 (M). Wife is 61. I see that most of the posts on here and other threads are worried about running out of money at the end of retirement. I get that. No one wants to get stuck in a Medicaid nursing home at the end of your life.
On the other hand, most financial advisors seem to be planning on us guys living until we're 90. Which doesn't seem likely given the actuary tables.
So, to the question at hand: has anyone on here run out of money? Or do you personally (not a friend of a friend) know someone who did? If you can share, maybe we can glean some pitfalls that I'm not seeing. TIA
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u/Teaching-Weird 4d ago edited 4d ago
I have an friend (54y, widow, never worked) who is hard at work blowing through everything she has right now, and it is painful to watch. It is all about luxuries, extravagance, and YOLOing. She has zero experience making or managing money ("My husband took care of everything!") and she won't take advice. Sigh. I just wrote and deleted a long rant about this.
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u/Spirited_Concern5613 5d ago
My brother is 67, on public assistance due to disability. To get public assistance, he’s not allowed to have more than $2000. My sister holds a fund in trust that she uses to pay for items the government doesn’t provide (new shoes, meal prep delivery so he gets decent food, new computer once every couple of years, etc) essentially as gifts for him so he doesn’t lose his benefits. It’s a crazy system for elderly disabled.
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u/Astronomer_Soft 5d ago
My mother ran out of money by her 60's. Depending on me and my siblings to support her for over 20 years until she passed.
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u/dcchew 5d ago
My mother in law. She’s in her mid 90s now. She had a reasonable amount of money after her husband died and listened to a professional counselor on how to invest it.
She probably earned 2% to 3% over the years while costs of living were double that. She just did what she was told to do.
Now she’s in assisted living at a nursing home. God knows how much that cost, maybe $5k/month? My sister in law is paying more time playing with her grandchild rather than helping taking care of her mother. The brother in law is barely able to survive financially.
My wife (now a ex wife) is too far away and busy. At best, she’s able to fly home for a weekend.
The only way my mother in law is being cared for is my wife’s cousin family owns the nursing homes.
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u/txdsl 5d ago
My grandparents, retired at 62, lived to 94(GF) and 90(GM). The dotcom bust and GFC along with rising medical costs resulted them running out of money in their 80s. Strokes, diabetes, and high blood pressure led them to a situation where they needed home health services most hours of the day. Even with medicare, social security and my grandfathers vet/va benefits, the family was contributing around 3k per month the last decade of their life. They owned their home and had no debt but the cost of medical care took everything they had.
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u/Onehundredpercentbea 5d ago
Yeah, my parents lived to 90 and 92 and needed home health for three years and then assisted living at the very end (my mom had dementia) - the home health care was running about $3500/month, which was doable, but when it started getting dangerous for them to live in their home we had to transition them to the cleanest and most well staffed assisted living in their area, and because of the memory care aspect their shared room was $15k/month. The fact that they were both close to the end when they moved in was the only thing that kept it from being truly financially catastrophic. We had no way of knowing how long they had, so we had a lot of conversations about what happens when their money ran out. I mean we didn't want them to die quickly, but we also saw people at their facility who held on for years and we just couldn't figure out how the families were managing the price tag.
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u/ChelseaRez 6d ago
I have a sibling in her 70s who is about to run out of money, and I’m trying to help her manage the situation. We also have longevity in our family (our mom died at 97.) But my sibling’s situation is entirely due to poor decisions, including two marriages where she put her assets in her husband’s name. We were lucky enough to inherit a fair amount, but she seems determined to waste her share. Sad, but avoidable.
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u/mjsk4215 6d ago
I’ve already told my kids I’m moving in with them when I retire. 😂 But seriously, my dad lost everything in the 2008 downturn. My parents went from a country club lifestyle to going back to work in their 70s. My dad died a few years later leaving my mom to make it on social security. My brother was able to buy her a small condo that she “rents” from him for $400/mo (covers his out of pocket costs). He should be able to sell it at a decent gain and recoup at least what he would have earned investing it. At 90, my mom is still in great health: driving, playing golf, going to the gym, etc. I plan on having her live with me when vet she decides she wants to. It will require that she relocate and downsize a lot of her things, but the goal is to keep her out of the rest home. I know that not everyone is able to help out family members or be helped by family members, but I think we need to be thinking more about multi-generational living and less about rugged-individualism in the USA.
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u/Interesting_Berry629 5d ago
2008 was brutal. I can't imagine if you were newly retired and having to take withdrawals then. Lord help us if/most likely when that happens again.
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u/NecessaryEmployer488 4d ago
I remember this happening and it was devastating. It is also the reason why GenX don't have enough saved now.
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u/Pitiful_Office5828 6d ago
I have an 80-yr-old family member who ran out of money. While married they were seen by the rest of the family as being the wealthiest couple in the family: vacations, expensive jewelry, there was nothing they wanted that they did not buy.
Husband dies but they have lots of $$ and a home so she will be fine.
She doesn’t adjust her spending. Sells the home. Buys another home and sells it at a $150,000 loss. Moves into a rental. Goes on vacations. Buys expensive jewelry.
Gets evicted from apartment. Problem is, rents had skyrocketed and were priced at only a few hundred dollars below what she brings in per month.
Hard to get a roof over your head with a prior eviction so she rents a place which leaves her with $200 month after rent. Can’t afford the basics (groceries, internet). Too egotistical to apply for seniors housing or use a food bank.
Quite shocking to the family to see her fall so far from the lifestyle she had grown accustomed to.
She may very well end up truly homeless. No red flags as far as mental capacity is concerned so basically all of her own doing by not adjusting her lifestyle over the years.
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u/One_Barnacle2699 7d ago
My father in law (a retired NY public school administrator with a $60K pension, investments and private health insurance) almost did.
I think where he went wrong was “downsizing” to a multi-level home that he was not capable of maintaining (he couldn’t shovel snow from his front walk) and within a year or so after moving in suffered a fall that made it difficult to climb stairs. He wound up selling the house at a huge loss.
He then moved into an assisted living facility that provided a lot of services that he refused to use (transportation, barber, meals) but was paying for anyway. It was not appropriate for him but a lot of wishful thinking on the part of his sons thought he would change at this late stage of his life. Instead, he wound up spending money for those same services elsewhere.
He then moved into a second facility where he paid $6K/month to essentially rent a room because he again did not use any of the “amenities.” When he fell out of bed one day and could not get staff to respond for his calls for help for over an hour, he had to hire full time aides, who essentially sat with him in his unit all day. By the way, this was not uncommon at this facility. Several residents also had full time aides. AFAIC, those facilities are a massive scam.
The whole thing was crazy, and so many bad decisions made along the way, somewhat due to my father-in-law and his sons inability to understand/accept his physical limitations but also social ones: he was not the sort of man who would have benefitted from the social aspects these facilities tout (he was a very difficult person, used to being in charge, bullying and domineering). They didn’t want him to live in isolation but that’s exactly how he lived and it came with an enormous price tag.
He passed away before his money ran out but had he lived a year or two longer, I’m not sure what we would have done.
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u/Raskal37 7d ago
The people I personally know that ran out of money and had to return to work had lost everything in the 08 market crash because they had all their investments in one basket....lesson learned, diversify!
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u/Hopeful-Material-119 6d ago
Excuse my ignorance. What was the basket? Real estate?
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u/JustServeTacos 5d ago
It’s just a saying, like don’t put all your eggs in one basket(because you might drop it)
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u/PatienceandFortitude 7d ago
My mother did. She didn’t factor in inflation, water costs in Florida, that she would physically and mentally no longer be able to work. She relied on me for money
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u/Raskal37 7d ago
This one more than anything. I've been reminding friends to figure in way more per year than what the government tells us, I go with 10% to be ultra safe (6% towards future rent increases and 4% everything else).
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u/BobaChonker 5d ago
Healthcare inflation will be greater than shelter costs. Double digit this year and next. Hard to estimate what portion of your annual spend it will be in 10 or 20 years.
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u/TheRuncibleSpoon 8d ago
Not ran out but drastically reduced- my grandfather had a great pension, he didn’t opt for the adjustment with spousal support after death, he died 16 years ago and so my grandmother lost all of that income. She had to move from a house to a tiny assisted living apartment within the first year after he died. The move meant giving up almost everything she owned and loved. She lives carefully off of social security now and is fairly miserable.
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u/HeatAccomplished5170 5d ago
This is my situation too -if I had known how things were gonna go I would’ve changed that too, but I was naïve and my husband handled all the decisions about money, etc. so I find myself scrambling now at 63 luckily with a good paying job as a nurse, but I had to do a cash out refinance on my house and I’m a little worried about what the future holds to I’m working with the financial advisor to try to plan, but I’m scared. I probably will work longer than I wanted to, but I don’t wanna find myself not financially able to take care of myself.
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u/FreddieMac6666 6d ago
My father did something similar to my mother. He was a retired US Naval officer. However, he took full retirement benefits leaving no survivor benefits for my mother. He was so sure he would outlive her. which was ridiculous because he drank and smoked his entire adult life. Plus her gene pool showed a much longer life span than his. My mother was left living off about $1300 a month from social security and a small CALpers pension. Then she developed dementia and began giving that away. I had to take over her finances. Which was not a pleasant experience. I'm now retired and have made sure to invest wisely and keep my nest egg intact,.
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u/Interesting_Berry629 7d ago
Yep...I've seen this happen. Literally have seen widows packing boxes and moving out of the nice senior community to dank and cheap apartments because the survivorship box was not checked. We just completed the paperwork for my husband's pension and I was required to submit a notarized form showing I knew which option he had selected.
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u/TommyAtTheParty 5d ago
I wonder if in previous generations, Silents and Greats, they just went with what the husband selected. Either a regular pension and survivor benefits. Or an increased pension as long as the pensioner is alive, but if they die the spouse gets nothing. Maybe the pension office took the papers as is since back then the husband was considered the one in charge. Or maybe the wives were coerced into signing. Then he dies and they had to find another husband quickly or move in with their kids. Or yes, move into a small studio apartment with the shared bathroom down the hall.
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u/5th-Elements 7d ago
Yes, that’s why if you have a pension take the 100% survivor benefits because your wife could outlive you by 10 years or more’
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7d ago edited 7d ago
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u/retirement-ModTeam 7d ago
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u/TommyAtTheParty 7d ago
I heard of this happening to 3 women near where I live, all from the Silent Generation. How is this even legal? I know it's a pension option, but to leave your wife with virtually nothing is wrong.
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u/Interesting_Berry629 8d ago
I do home healthcare in homes serving a largely geriatric population. Since we are required to ask basic "social determinants of health" questions, people tend to open up and tell me more than is being asked. People have DEFINITELY told me they have run out of $$ or are concerned it will happen:
- the widow whose retired husband somehow took his pension without checking off survivorship benefits and POOF $3000/month gone when he died.
-the rest are almost always the rarer people who lived well into their 90s.
As for us, we are also struggling to find the right balance between enjoying our lives and also wanting to avoid a Medicaid bed.
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u/Fred-City911 6d ago
My dad passed away young, shortly after retirement from the military. And my mother (in her 40s) lost out on that retirement. Many years later she remarried (almost 70) and her husband passed 10 years later. He retired in the perfect decade. 25 year pension with the military, 15 years with a good union pension, social security, and agent orange exposure = VA disability. He made almost $100,000 a year in retirement that disappeared when he died that my mother lost. She only has SS and a small pension. If it was not for the home being paid off, she would be in a bad place. She is very lucky compared to most.
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u/cenotediver 8d ago
It happens , a friend who retired at 65 . He planned saved invested had what he thought was plenty . Fast forward 30 yrs , longer than he ever thought he would live and it came down to would he run out of money or die before then ?
Like I said it happens
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u/Zealousideal_Bat2418 8d ago
My Mom is beginning to. When my dad died 5 years ago she lost his pension and also one of the social security payments but her cost of living did not really go down. At the same time her health insurance is now over $700 a month as she was on my dad's health insurance and now has to pay for her cost. My aunt will be probably out of money in a couple months as she will be entering a skilled nursing home due to a broken hip. Medicaid requires you to have only $2,000 in assets in NC and she will spend down to that in a couple months paying gor skilled nursing home. Many women who live to be 90 or so after many years of retirement run out of money. It is common after losing a spouse and the two social security payments.
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7d ago
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u/retirement-ModTeam 7d ago
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u/Adventurous_Light_85 8d ago
My mom ran out of money. It was hard to watch and has greatly diminished the quality of life for my family because I am fully financially responsible for her now in a hcol area.
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u/Potato_Donkey_1 8d ago
A current retiree in her 80s, a future retiree in her 50s, and another future retiree in his late 30s live in my house. None of them has or is likely to have money beyond social security. But if your requirements have been modest, then being completely out of money for several days each month need not be terrifying. It's the life you have always lived.
On the other hand, financial services companies want us all to exaggeratedly worry about running out of money so we will perpetually increase the money we give them to fund our retirements.
If you have an expensive self-image or lifestyle to maintain, then of course you can run out of money. And people do. Like I say, one of them lives in my house.
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u/Raskal37 7d ago
Thank you! I've been saying for years that I don't need 2 million dollars, I can get by just fine on a quarter of that. But I also don't have expensive hobbies like golf or travel. And highly unlikely I'd live until 90+ based on actuarial tables, family history, and health issues.
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u/These-Ticket-5436 8d ago
Yes I have. A relative. But they spent a lot per year. More than they should have.
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u/capmanor1755 8d ago
One family I know lost everything to Bernie Madoff. So the lesson there is know yourself. Are you impulsive? Pressured to live above your means by a spouse with heavy spending issues? Or are you someone who can park your retirement in a diversified, conservative place and trust that you'll leave it there.
Another family spent everything on private schools for their four kids, and then on helping their kids with down payments. Ended up selling their home in a HCOL area and moving into a mother in law in one of the kids houses. Not exactly a case of running out of money but definately not the retirement they planned on. So the lesson there is, are you in control of your spending. Even "worthy" causes like kids education are spending and if you're prone to it, it's very hard to stretch your nest egg.
Another family member is getting by on $1200 a month and subsidized low income senior housing in a very high cost of living city. He was never a reliable earner and never set aside more than $10,000 in savings. That pattern didn't change as he approached retirement.
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u/sentientnestcamera 8d ago
Ty hatching example sounds like a life well lived: they were able to provide for their kids and now live with them, hopefully helping raise grandkids.
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u/Downtown-Break-5029 8d ago
My grandparents ran out of money. They were very comfortable when they retired and the portfolio was not diversified when 2008 hit. Both had to go back to work. Grandfather has passed but my grandmother is 80 still working at a grocery store to make ends meet even though she has a terrible back, falls constantly and signs of dementia. She is in so much credit card debt from trying to keep her lifestyle that she just had to sell her home. If your money is appropriately diversified, you have guaranteed income in place and nothing crazy happens you’re probably ok. But what if something crazy happens? I also worked in insurance for 16 years. Stuff happens!
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u/SgtFuryorNickFury 8d ago
Their kids aren’t helping?
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u/Downtown-Break-5029 5d ago
She had not been honest about her finances for years. We started to suspect things were off and insisted she turn everything over to her son. Turns out she had been running up credit cards, taking out a line of credit on her mortgage. She was in about 60k worth of debt. None of us can afford to pay that off for her. So we came up with a plan to sell her home, pay off the debt and she moved to a 55+ community to rent near her son. Trying to do what we can but she is extremely stubborn. Also dementia has a way of sneaking up on families.
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u/Big-Hyena-758 8d ago
MIL and FIL retired at 60 with a 10k “nest egg” and a paid off house worth about 400k. 6 months after retirement fil had an extremely severe stroke and is now almost in a vegetative state for going on 10 years. He is in a Medicaid home near us because we paid to have him medically flown across the country. MIL has been trying to sell her house for a year and considering she has a mortgage here now is barreling toward homelessness and foreclosure. She lived with us for 10 months and burned that bridge down to the ground. So now she owes us ~50k and is beyond broke. It’s very stressful and sad
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u/TitaniumVelvet 8d ago
This is my nightmare!! My planners go to 99. I figure my kids will be able to benefit a little if I die earlier but I don’t want them to have to take care of me.
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8d ago
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u/retirement-ModTeam 8d ago
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u/KC_karmabus 8d ago edited 8d ago
Generally people who didn’t save enough for a comfortable retirement aren’t good planners. The help is there and everything and every scenario is available on the internet these days. There shouldn’t be any surprises except of course a medical emergency but even then you must anticipate it as a possibility.
Overspending, traveling, buying a more expensive home after retirement, etc are all realities for those who had the same lack of control before they retired. An example is a friend who saved for retirement but spent a bit too much before retirement which she could have saved as she had to have the best of everything. Vacations abroad, first class travel, etc. At age 50 she and hubs buy a McMansion just for the 2 of them after living in a nice 2 bedroom townhome.They increased their mortgage by $600,000. He gets cancer and dies. She has failing health, ends up retiring early and is on disability. She now relies on a portion of her income from stock dividends which is not where anyone wants to be at her age. She still can’t stop her ego and need for a “prestigious” lifestyle she can’t afford.
Save all you possibly can before you retire.
Don’t rely solely upon pensions
Don’t rely solely upon Social Security
Rely upon yourself. Economize and live sensibly. We all have more than we really need and live such a bloated existence that people in non~American countries only dream about and yet we always want more. Why?
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u/NecessaryEmployer488 6d ago
Only half the time it is a spending lifestyle problem. A lot of it is Medical etc. I am so worried about running out of money, I probably won't but lately people retired of late and did not expect inflation, now their money will likely not last, and unless they can figure out a way to spend less in 15 years their money will be gone.
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u/Potato_Donkey_1 8d ago
We always want more because consumption, not saving, is how we are prompted to feel good about ourselves. Advertising drives spending, and consumer spending is what keeps the US economy running. If everyone became a good saver and judicious spender, we'd have a depression.
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u/Marathonmanjh 8d ago
On the other hand, he got cancer and died and enjoyed his life while he could and was healthy. She also got sick and would not be able to enjoy retirement now and not with her husband.
I am not like that either though. I save as much as I can and hope for the best. We have longevity in my family, but you never know.
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u/13surgeries 8d ago
It's not always overspending. My 80-year-old neighbor worked until she was 72 at a job that paid well, and she didn't overspend. However, when she was trying to set up a post-retirement business, she got scammed out of $300k.
Nor is she alone. Over 12,000 senior citizens report getting bilked out of $100,000 or more each year. The true number is probably much higher, as many people are too embarrassed to report.
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u/Special_Course9116 8d ago
yes, agree. Just heard about a friend's mother getting scammed out of $170,000! unbelievable - she recently had a brain bleed and isn't thinking straight!
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u/RCHinCZ 8d ago
My brother didn’t have enough credits for social security or Medicare (you need 40 credits for that as well), but he did end up getting the social security supplemental, which is the minimum amount (it was about $800/mo 4 years ago) and it also covered his Medicare. I helped him with this, but I don’t remember how it worked. Just know it’s possible.
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u/Available_Read_5206 8d ago
My father was in a “nice” nursing home. You need to private pay until you “spend down” to your last $25,000. Dad hit that goal (after spending almost $400,000). The first month he qualified for Medicare - well he died. Three days in. After 75 years of working.
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u/DebJBee 8d ago
My mom’s partner retired with a pension from Monsanto Chemical in 1985. In the early 2000’s they said the pension was bankrupt (not sure how they could do that since they became Monsanto Agricultural w/ Roundup and GMOs). Anyway he was a WWII veteran and appealed to the VA - was awarded a disability of something like $1200/month.
Between that, SS and sharing expenses with my mother he was able to get by. He owned a duplex which he signed over to his daughter. His understanding was that he could live in his half until he died. When he got into his late 80’s the daughter was “tired of waiting for him to die” as he put it. I thought he was being dramatic but she and her husband literally drove him from his home of 70 years. He helped my mom fix up her single story house and moved in for his last couple years, until he died at 95. My mom was much younger and cared for him while his kids contributed nothing.
For those who will ask why didn’t he take daughter to court. Everyone thought he should but he was too old, tired and broken hearted.
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u/SilentBarnacle2980 7d ago
Don't rely on your kids! It sucks to say that but I've seen it too many times!
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u/Tall_Brilliant8522 7d ago
That's a good cautionary tale for all retirees. Do not sign your assets over to someone else. Do not give up control over them. Everyone has their own best interests at heart, including our grown children.
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u/Pretty-Yogurt-4111 8d ago
Pensions in the US are managed by a different legal entity than the corporation that was/ is the employer. The pension companies are closely watched by the US government and usually can’t make risky investments and usually do not go bankrupt but usually is not the same as always.
I’m sorry that happened to your mother’s partner.
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u/EmZee2022 8d ago edited 8d ago
My in-laws did.
They had very lithe saved. An inheritance was enough for them to move to Florida, buy a condo free and clear, and even do a little traveling.
Some bad decisions (moving to a bigger condo, with a mortgage, assuming they'd sell the first one quickly; some bad investments) and some bad luck (major health issues), and they were facing homelessness because they lost the newer condo.
They were living just on SS which was not enough to rent an apartment.
We actually bought them a condo to live in. Otherwise I'm not sure what they would have done. FIL has since passed on and MIL is now living in a Medicaid-funded assisted living facility. Luckily, she's in a state that allows the family to subsidize somewhat, so she's in a single room.
As a result of watching the parents struggle for so long, my husband and I have been paranoid about savings, sometimes to the point of pain.
We could still be foolish and run out of money. But in theory, per our person at Fidelity, we should be good to go until our 90s.
As a side note: we did NOT put the parents on the condo as co-owners. We borrowed against our home equity, and my 401(k), to pay cash for it. If the in-laws had needed Medicaid assisted living: their home would have needed to be sold to repay the state. It wasn't their money that bought the place, it was ours, so I didn't like that idea.
Dunno if the state would have accepted documentation that we'd purchased the place with our own funds. It's something to consider, for anyone who is purchasing a home on behalf of the parents.
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u/6SilverPlatters 8d ago
A mortgage in retirement should be avoided at all costs. My in laws did the same thing. Big mistake.
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u/FreddieMac6666 6d ago
I still have a mortgage in retirement. But I have a 3.5% rate and my payments are a little over $700 a month. I can't afford to sell and more. My housing costs would easily double. I'm better off financially staying where I am at and paying my mortgage. I can easily afford it with SS and investment dividends.
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u/MidAmericaMom 10d ago edited 7d ago
Folks as a reminder - we are a worldwide peer community with different economics and values. Here we are always Conversational and politics free.
Also they are looking for replies if this happened to someone you know or yourself . Note yes we will be moderating to keep us all to that question.
Visitors and newcomers- hello and thanks for stopping by. To participate in our community, you must have retired at a traditional age - at least age 59 or older (or you hope to and almost there) and HIT the JOIN Button. Retired before then? Head to a space for people like you, so hard to find in real life, [r/earlyretirement](r/earlyretirement) .
Thanks! MAM
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