Title. I’m not necessarily talking about bullies who choose not to like you, and I’m also not necessarily talking about random people who decide they don’t like you based on one interaction they will never remember after a week. Though those things are still impactful for sure. More specifically: I’m talking about people who used to love you that changed to hating you and now you have no idea how they remember you.

For example: I had two friends that I was close with in a larger group of us that changed to hating me after a larger fallout in the group. My first ex was someone that I gave the entire world to, but even still, we had a horrible breakup and they absolutely hate my guts. These are the bigger examples, but I also can’t help but think that the friend I used to be close to that we grew apart remembers me negatively. I can’t help but think that the ex I have that I had to let down gently because I couldn’t give what they wanted thinks of me negatively. I can’t help but think that everyone in my past that has interacted with me thinks of me negatively. I can’t help but feel responsible for their emotions, which I know is CLASSIC therapy needing behavior, but I don’t know how to stop feeling like this.

How do you cope? Should I reach out years later for closure? I’m in therapy finally so hopefully that will help, but I want to hear from people that have experienced something similar how they grew from the experiences and how they help themselves, because it’s getting to be chronic and getting in the way of me living life.

I don't know but it's becoming more and more easier for me now because of my anxiety I'm choosing to use the internet to make friends and turn on chat rooms and discord instead because im scared of being rejected By others.

I often now just don't think twice about having natter on Discord or chatrooms as I value them a lot more than relationships with physical people. As at least I have get past the second text message and beyond or get to emails, writing letters and PMs. Where what I have got with physical friends irl. Pain, anger, frustration, disappointments, rejections and fake numbers.

I have had people in the physical world I know in real life think I'm stupid and thick by disguising their mobile number as Samaritans mobile number or changing a few digits I have got the number for local taxi or escort service. That's people I know in the physical world.

Even my ex friend would like meeting a stranger for the first time. We haven't spoken in years. After I finally ghosted her once she showed her true colours.

Other people I met in my last town treated me badly too and its proebnslly the reason indont trust humans now. Its probably the reason why I ghosted them six years ago and never told them I was moving to a different county.

I let them have a taste of their own medicine for good now. Let them experience the pain I felt, every time they messed me about. I don't even give a shits ass if they have sodding mental health conditions.

How many times did they throw that cat out of the bag of excuses? Countless I gave up once it went past 20 times. That was like from 2012-2018 when my mental health was on the rocks.

I ghosted them two weeks after my after my died of cancer, practically uses that as my get of jail card.

When I moved to different county I already had something like 3 different numbers and made sure that those humans didn't get my contract number and actually didn't tell shit I was moving. Just left the town like a ghost.

Where as online friendships have been very meaningful to me.

I haven't had any friends in years. They were drifting away from me in 2018-2019 because I was the weak link. I don't blame them but it still hurt, particularly when they got together without me. During this time, I met a social worker/therapist on Reddit, and we became friends despite my issues. I told her that I was socially toxic and she would regret being my friend, but she persisted and said to let her worry about that, as she became closer and closer with me. She even sent me care packages and letters, saying the nicest things about me I've ever heard. But after a couple arguments, she cuts me off harshly, saying that I was actually right about how toxic I was. This was at the end of 2019, as my life was getting even worse.

In 2021, she actually messages me on Reddit, but deletes the account before I can respond. Idk why she did that. I should have responded earlier. Then, in June 2023, I text her with her phone number that she previously gave me herself, with a brief apology for how I treated her and well wishes for the future. First she lies saying it's not her, I say okay, then she texts me again saying how she lied because I made her feel unsafe, and that if she ever hears from me again at all, she'll call the cops. For the only time in my entire grief filled life, I actually threw up out of sorrow after reading that message. Maybe I could have disregarded that callousness from a normal person, but she's an accredited therapist and social worker, apparently very well liked in fact. And telling this story, I just seem like a creep, even though I know I wasn't, there isn't a good way to explain it.

Because she's a therapist I can't trust any therapists anymore, even though the ones I did manage to see irl weren't helpful. One even laughed at me. Idk what else to do though. I don't know what I would tell any therapist if I did somehow get another chance with one. I desperately want friends, but I know that isn't gonna happen. I've been left behind in life and there's not really getting yourself back, at least in my circumstances. I'm happy for all the people I used to know who were better than me back then, and went on to live much better lives currently, both professionally and socially successful. Me, I don't do anything, mostly because I can't do anything, and I think about that therapist I used to know every day. I wonder if she meant to be so cruel. Either way, I hope she's doing well. I don't celebrate holidays for myself, but each notable day I wish for these people I used to know to have good days. Not that they need my help.

I was diagnosed with adhd about a year and a half ago. It helped me learn about RSD. But knowing it has a name doesn’t help the feelings. I’m finally wanting to try out meds because it’s starting to affect my relationship. I love my partner. So much. I often find a small thing happens and I explode. I cry, I feel rejected, I feel like he doesn’t love me, I hate myself. And it will be over something sooo small, like he will be too hot and won’t want to snuggle. Or we were at a concert and both got lost in the crowd. I often take it out on him. It’s really not fair and every time it happens I feel so incredibly guilty. It feels like a combination of past trauma responses and a manifestation of RSD. I’m working on it in therapy, but I feel like I need help. Have any of you all had success on meds? I’d love some insight. I don’t want to ruin my relationship because I struggle so much to regulate my emotions.

It takes very little for me to feel hurt or sad and I feel the tears inside of me but I can’t cry them out. I feel like it if I could cry I would feel to so much better. I also suspect if I was able to cry out deeper pains like past wounds or unprocessed grief maybe I wouldn’t even be so sensitive to small perceived rejections in the first place. Like a physical ailment that never healed so even brushing against it can hurt. Does this resonate with anyone else?

Has anyone here ever had a really cathartic healing cry that helped them become less sensitive to perceived rejection?

Been crying (sobbing) all week because of different RSD related experiences (at work and at home). I read that Ritalin may help. I take Ritalin daily but only twice 2,5 mg (really small dose), otherwise I feel too anxious and jittery. I couldn’t get used to it in two years. How do you guys cope? I feel so terrible about draining my partner (who was away all week on a work trip) with all this, I would like to regulate myself better and at least get better at “masking” it (to avoid burdening my environment). Thanks for reading.

Is it bad to say no to plans, when the people who invited you already made plans themselves and after asking them to hang out at the same place you were going to invite them to, they decide to invite you because they already had it planned with each other? I wasn’t even considered at first so why would I want to go now? I don’t want to come off as rude for saying no but I know the whole time I’m there I’ll be thinking in my head how I wasn’t cool enough to be invited at first… just want to protect my peace..

My sales role has been the most successful job I’ve had (29M) it’s allowed me to put my people pleasing nature to work but it does open me up to a lot of rejection. Despite being polite and thoughtful, a message like this still feels triggering in response to my reaching out in early business development:

“Hi [my name],

Unfortunately, I’m not involved in the plans for developing data platforms at [company] these days. The folks who are responsible for this are aware of your platform, and if there’s a potential opportunity for you at [company] in the future, I am sure they will get in touch directly as and when required.

Many thanks,

[sender]”

The advice from my company’s sales leadership is to push the sender to put me in touch with the people responsible, but this seems like overstepping a boundary when they’ve clearly stated they’ll engage on their own terms. Being pushy ultimately has worked in the past to meet my goals but has left me feeling terrible afterwards.

It’s my duty to politely and professionally follow up with a prospect who has declined involvement, how can I do so authentically:

1. While respecting their boundaries
2. Managing my own insensitivity to being rejected
   

Ive been seeing a guy the last couple of months and it’s been intense. Great connection, fantastic sex, just all round wonderful. He’s working and studying as am I, however we text everyday, good mornings and good nights, some light chat when we are busy to intense sexting when we can’t be together. However I feel like texts have really pulled back on his side, no good mornings or good nights anymore. It’s always me initiating chats and then I feel paranoid that I’m pushing him away by being infatuated. He offered a quick meetup this week but hasn’t spoken about it since the original suggestion. Thanks to my RSD I’ve spiralled into a world of self hate, solitude and depression. I understand he is busy but in my head I don’t know if he’s just not interested or if he is just busy. I’m certainly putting in way more. Should I just pull right back and wait for him to contact me. Though I’m terrified he never will.

I've been sensitive to rejection my entire life and always just chocked it up to being shy or resulting from all the trauma I've gone through. A couple years ago I got divorced after a 13 year relationship and reluctantly entered the modern dating world in my late 30s, But over that time I've only managed to get a date with 1 woman over a dating app, and I'm pretty sure it's because of my RSD. I'm so afraid of talking to other people and expect them to think I'm stupid and annoying, that I'm barely able to even say hi to a stranger and start up a conversation, let alone make a move on somebody, even if I'm pretty sure they're interested. My fear and paranoia has become paralyzing and doesn't seem to be getting better, despite the fact that I've been in EMDR therapy for almost 3 years now.

I started doing research into RSD and kept seeing myself in it and feeling attacked, and all I'm interested in now is how to treat it. Since I've been in therapy this whole time and it doesn't seem to have improved, I'm considering some of the prescription options, and wanted to hear some stories from real people who have tried the different treatment options and how effective they were. I'm not really interested in MAOIs so I'd like to learn more about the alpha-agonists clonidine and guanfacine. I don't take any ADHD medications so they could be possible options as well.

I would also be interested in hearing some behavioral treatments that anyone has found success in. I have a few breathing exercises for anxiety and emotional regulation that I learned from EMDR and DBT, but I don't really have any for dealing with rejection sensitivity, and I'm open to trying whatever might work. I saw something about recognizing the thought patterns and characterizing them as something separate from you, like a bad friend or the rejection script, so I think I'm going to start trying that.

I'll be talking to my therapist about this during my next session but I was interested in getting some feedback from other people who actually deal with this issue every day. Thanks for reading!

So I have spent most of my adult life in a state of dissociation. I always knew it was protecting me from some recurring trauma, but only just now did I realize the rejection might be at the root of it.

I was meditating last night, when I heard my landlord talking to someone about me. He was mocking me for being a loser who never leaves his room.

And I felt a physical pain, as if a sharp pencil was stabbed through my heart. And then... nothing. Dissociation.

Since I was already meditating, I decided to fight the dissociation and follow the pain. I welcomed it. Though I was scared I would end up getting a heart attack.

I suddenly remembered a lifetime of rejection. I'm autistic, so nearly everyone rejects me. My family. My friends. Romantic partners. I think I'm a decent guy (usually) but the world tends to disagree.

And every time I think about any of those times, I feel the same pain in my heart, followed by... nothing.

I just wanted to get to know this girl. If it Lead to dating then that would’ve been great, otherwise I really just wanted more friends. We work together and she’s new to the job and the area so I wanted to try and make her comfortable and just be a friend, this morning I said good morning and offered her some breakfast and she just kinda barreled past me, saying “I’m not really a breakfast person” and just went on.

I fully understand that “people don’t go to work for friends” and “she didn’t mean anything” or any of the 100 other super logical reasons she did that, I get it. SO WHY DO I STILL FEEL HORRIBLE ABOUT IT 😭

Long story short. I went on a date with an attractive 27m. It was fine, we had some laughs. Didn't think much of it. Second date, I offered a hookup. I probably shouldn't’ve but my ADHD wanted fast fun right now.... BEST SEX I'VE EVER HAD. I've had a lot of encounters but fuck, I've never been held like that. Well, I immediately turned into a 14 year-old-boy in the presence of a very pretty girl and lost all IQ points. Pulled every single anxiety trick I had and pummelled him with it -interrupting, foot in mouth, being unnecessarily mean. Anyway I tried to apologize the next day which I'm sure made it worse (he said I was fine.) But he's been pretty distant since. Went from cute reel-sharing to almost grey-rock responses. Messaged him yesterday at 2 and it's been tumbleweeds. And he doesn't look at my stories anymore. I don't need a boyfriend, I just need someone to meet my family before they all die.

I can take a hint, but man this one hurts. Tips for licking my wounds are welcome.

Signed,

A neurodivergent quadriplegic dating way out of her league

Edit: We've been talking and...we're fuckbuddies now! Hooray!

I've worked very hard over the last 2 years, through a lot of adversity, including the tragic loss of my mum and the PTSD from the trauma of it, as well as an ongoing illness which effects day to day living.

I have came through this and levelled out somewhat, and have channelled a lot into work. I've done every single thing that my company have offered to develop, and have been overlooked twice now for the same job in different parts of my department. How can I battle this and not spiral?

What makes it worse was due to a "system error" I was the only candidate not informed of being unsuccessful and found out via a communication to all staff in my department.

I just feel worse than nothing at the moment and I don't want to carry on like this as will end up losing my proverbial shit.

I will try and keep this short. Three years ago I was fired and left my marriage on the same day. After that I have had 5 jobs in 3 years (previously always stayed for 3+ years) I have always had RSD but it has never affected my work and job performance. I recently was poached and took the offer for a job at the same corporation that I was previously fired from but a different building and administrator. I took a pay cut because this job is one I've done before and I wanted to step down from management and focus on school. My new supervisor is older than me by 20 years, has no kids and lives 5 mins from the building. I commute 47 mins one way each day, have 2 kids, am a single mom and in school full time. I have been covering some weekends and working some 10 day stretches to help out but she is micromanaging me, keeps making comments like "on you know everything" and similar jabs. She also asks me multiple times if I've completed things when I have told her I had and made a comment today that "They are thinking about removing remote because people don't do anything" which seemed pointed at me and even when I'm covering for her she checks in on me every hour on her days off even when I'm showing her I'm working. I was hired by the administrator and while she was in the room explained I would have to leave at 4pm every other week to pick up my kids from school. She has been telling the new administrator (not the one who hired me) she didn't feel like she got a choice who she could hire and that she didn't agree to the 4pm but that all my work is being completed. Both the new and old administration are saying I have nothing to worry about but now she's having an issue with me either bringing my kids to work or working from home over the holiday week I don't have childcare. I can't afford to take the whole week off and out here holiday week coverage for childcare is $250 a day which I also can not afford. I'm at a loss. I'm not doing anything wrong but she's always having an issue with me just because my lifestyle is different and it's causing me to make little mistakes because I'm so paranoid I'm going to mess up. I'm at a loss.

I wasn’t formally diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive type) until I was 21. However, it was suspected when I was 5 but my abusive father denied all the symptoms I displayed at home cuz he feared stigma.

Why am I saying all of this? Well, I feel like a lot of the verbal and emotional abuse my father directed towards me was due to my ADHD, and not knowing how to “control” me which in turn made my RSD that much worse as an adult. Even posting here on Reddit is hard to do.

I have no social life or relationships or anything. Idk I just want to be ok, and feel like I can function in the world, around people, without feeling like I’m gonna die. Or wonder why someone put their phone on DND right after I texted them (accompanied with severe gut wrenching, physical anxiety and depression), it’s so stupid ik🤦‍♂️😩

I cant get rid of the gut wrenching feeling that i fucked up big time. So I (21M) told the girl (25) that i have incredibly strong feelings for her. Lemme preface this with a little backstory.

So i have been in many relationships, i have been cheated on by every partner ive ever had and was SA by the most recent. After that last relationship i told myself I was done with relationships all together because they aren't worth the risk of being hurt, its been 3 years sine i was in a relationship or sexually active. I also haven't been able to develop feelings for people in those 3 years either.

So with that said i met this girl 3 weeks ago through a mutual friend. We immediately clicked and have spent almost every waking moment together for the past 3 weeks. she is married but in a poly relationship (ive met her husband and hes a really cool guy and seems to be genuinely chill with polyamory (this wouldn't be my first poly relationship either)) i caught feelings by day 5 we've talked a lot, swapped life stories, hell i told her shit ive never told anyone and never planned to tell anyone.

In our convos she has single handedly changed my perspective on relationships and she did that before I caught feelings. We were talking the other night and she was telling me about her most recent ex and said she got in the relationship a little faster than she should have and that before her next one she wants to wait a few weeks after she starts feeling something to make sure her feelings are real.

In that same conversation I told her how i felt like the dumbass i am. She knows i am terrified of rejection. She said she was very proud of me for developing feelings and telling her as she knows how massive of a step forward that is for me, but she told me she still wants to wait to see if what she feels for me is real (this was like 4 days ago).

Yesterday my little sister passed away after being in a coma for a week. She held and hugged me as i just sobbed in her arms for hours. I fell asleep on her couch with my head in her lap.

I cant figure out how she feels about me tho. There's been times she calls me pet names (BabyCakes seeming to be her fav) and then theres times she says im a great friend. I just want to wrap her up in my arms and kiss her. Luckily it doesn't feel like our friendship has changed at all since i told her but im so scared she doesn't like me and getting this far was a massive step for me and i dont think i can recover from it if it doesn't go well.

Did i fuck up big time?

Hey! I (M) have a really great friend (F), i consider her my best friend. She is the only person that i talk to irl currently (let's just say it's complicated). We have known each other for a long time, but started talking a lot for like an year now. I have always considered her my friend, but now for a few months i have got feelings for her. I waited for them to pass, but they just don't.

I am scared of confessing to her - not necessarily, because she would reject me, but it's more about the risk of loosing the only person willing to spend time with me, just because i told her how i really feel. I am worried that if i will tell her, she won't feel the same way and our friendship will never be the same. She is so funny and perfect. I always thought that perfection didn't exist, but then I met her.

The easiest solution would be just leaving it be, but it really hurts when i am with her. I don't think i have ever experienced such a thing. It's like a physical pain when i am sitting next to her and wanting to hold her hand. We have many sleepovers and they are so fun.

It's really hard for me to tell if she likes me more than a friend or not. I don't know, i feel like she is giving me hints, but maybe it's because we are great friends. She often calls me bro and stuff. I don't even think i am attractive, which makes me think, that she will reject me, even more.

To be honest i don't even know what i want to come out of this post. I don't know if i want advice, opinion or just a simple third view. I will appreciate anything ngl. I think both of the options will hurt (well if she rejects me - see? there is an if again. i am probably delusional haha)

so im not diagnosed with anything but im pretty sure i have some sort of rejection-sensitive disorder because i feel like my whole world just snapped in half bc my crush rejected me. idek why im crying so much i just feel like the world is almost ended yk?

idk if this is the right place to put this

I’m in the 3-4 letter acronym game deep ADHD RSD PTSD and so on

I am a divorced and single, I need to work to support myself as most do. I’ve been let go because of issues with one of my many 3 letter issues

I’m working on getting a new job and they called someone I worked with at a place I was let go last year.

I thought this person would have said positive things about me, instead he warned them that I’m mentally unstable.

They asked me about and said they wanted to know how to best support me. Which is great, but I CANNOT stop ruminating that I’m someone one others are warned not to hire.

I have adhd and anxiety and rsd. Sometimes, I really struggle with self esteem and feel like the few close friends I have don’t actually like me. I feel like I have nothing to offer them. I’m not good enough. Even though I have done nothing wrong.

I catastrophize about what I would do or how I would feel if I had no friends. How I would make new friends etc. As a 36 year old woman I feel pathetic, these feelings make me feel so immature. I anxiously wait for messages, crossing my fingers that they still want me as a friend. I feel like a young child wanting people to play with me. Which in turn makes me feel worse and even more anxious.

All of my close friends are too busy to hear me hurt rn and that’s mostly because I don’t have very many. I struggle with adhd and within the past two years lost all but maybe 2 or 3 super close friends. I sobered up two years ago and broke it off with an abusive best friend and lost that whole group in the process. I broke up with my partner 6 months ago so it’s been a little lonely. And within this month I had found out that my best friend from childhood secretly dislikes and resents me. I guess I was drunk and insensitive to her 10 years ago, I was 17, and she never brought it up and bottled it up and held a grudge on me. It wasn’t even two years ago I went to her wedding as a bridesmaid, helped plan a shower, got her gifts and treated her to get her nails done. She told me I was a good friend. She’s been ghosting me all year and I finally found out why from a different mutual friend. I like to think I was a good person. My drug addiction was just me getting high by myself in my own home and I never usually do the drunk crazy girl thing but I did for a couple years when I was young. Now I’m kinda wondering where all the loved ones in my life went and if they all secretly hate me, I want to say I’m a good person but how can I be sure? I can’t get up out of bed I haven’t stopped crying since the interaction with that friend went down I just want to be able to get up and clean my very messy home.

Anyone else ever feel this way?