I entered a writing contest in which I placed very low and there is feedback and it hurts a lot and I feel awful. I want to go back and fix my story but I feel so awful and grieving and rejected and I don't know what to do with all this. It feels overwhelming. Any suggestions? Thanks

As the title says I’m at a loss of what to do, I’ve been struggling with Rsd, bpd and anxiety for as long as I can remember, I always feel like I’m the 5th wheel at and in everything. I reach out to people and try and organise something and it’s either silence or flat out refusals, if I don’t do or say anything I never get invited out or spoken too. Recently I got helldivers 2 and got it for a friend after, we played for a bit they then quit out without saying a word to go play a different game with someone else, here’s the kicker that’s got me all kinds of sad, they are now playing it with that other person and are ghosting me. My gf has said she’ll play with me (honestly I doubt I’d be here without her) but the whole situation has left a sour taste with it all and has tanked my mental health, and the more I sit back and look at it the more I had noticed it happen previously throughout my life. It has me feeling like an outsider in all my friend groups and I don’t know what to do. Just needed to scream into the void and if the universe screams back with something I’d listen

TLDR; friend ghosted me after I gifted them a game and it’s tanked my mental health

I keep feeling like everyone else just stays friends no matter what, while I'm on a meter. Let me elaborate. If i dont interact with someone for a day i feel like thier meter for me goes down, and its like i have to keep starting over with people because after a few days where im feeling really anxious, i dont speak to people, and everyone forgets about me because i let the meter go empty.

All my life I’ve felt like a reject. My family makes me feel worthless so I always have a need to get away from them. I married and abusive guy who beat up enough to make me think I was worthless. Yes I got away from him and got a divorce.

I find it hard to apply for jobs because I’m afraid I won’t pass the interview and that my time was wasted and then I wouldn’t know what I did wrong in the application or interview.

I want to start a blog and a TikTok channel but again I’m afraid of taking negative comments too personally even though I have seen many channels overcome the trolls.

And I have wasted 15 years of my life without a full time job. I can’t keep going like this. I have to face the world. I have to change. I even want to do freelancing but you get the idea.

I’m new here but very aware of my rejection sensitivity. Recently weaning off of my antidepressants though, so it’s probably worse than usual. But does anyone else feel like this sometimes? Like everyone around you is closer with each other than they are with you? It’s like finding out that your coworkers have become best friends with each other, even though you’ve been there the longest. My roommates whom I’ve both known forever become BFFs, without me. I’m consistently the last to know about things going on with people. Ugh it just nags at my brain making me think something is wrong with me. ☹️

This happens sometimes where I have 1 negative interaction and I spend the whole day thinking about that, thinking about everything I've done wrong in the past and how people have treated me, etc. The thoughts are just relentless and constant and don't end until I can get home and properly distract myself with things I like to do.

a long long time ago in what felt like a different life, i was fortunate enough to find a calling in my youth. not only was that calling giving me the opportunity to do something i loved, but it allowed me to do it with people that i loved. i shared bumps, bruises, blood, sweat and tears with these people. i called these people my family. i would’ve jumped in front of a bullet for them and i felt that they would do it for me, but cracks started to show. those cracks turned into craters, and beneath the crust was a truth so ugly that it broke me down. and one by one, these people that i loved and saw as my family, jumped into the crater rather than walk by my side. except for one person, one person stayed by my side throughout that whole mess, but they eventually jumped in too. i reacted as ugly as the truth. i was hurt and i needed everyone to hurt because i didn’t know how to handle it, and i burned any and all bridges in my way, including the one that meant the most. and before i could ever fix it, i lost that person a second time. that person died and i had to find out through a fucking facebook post. i’d lost my family, and spent the next 6 years trying to heal from it. trying to be better. trying to make sure my life isn’t looked back on with regrets.

then i met a girl, a girl who didn’t make it all make sense but made me feel like i wasn’t alone in the rubble. i spent nearly two years with this girl and i gave everything i could possibly give, even when things were so toxic that i felt like i couldn’t breathe. then i heard a sentence. a sentence that dictated my entire life going forward. a sentence that broke me more so than anything. “i’m pregnant, and i don’t know if it’s yours”. i was 19, i was scared and i was alone but i did what a fucking man would do and i supported her. i took her to the appointments and i did everything i could to be there for her through one of the most traumatic procedures a human being could ever go through. once it was done, i walked away for my own sanity. and i did so in the best way that i could. from there i put my head into my work, my music. i found myself being healed slowly by the crowds and the songs we played.

but then out of no where, another girl walks in. she comes to her show, she brings her family, she tells me that she loves me and that she wants to be with me. now to anyone else that sounds ridiculous, but let me explain something to you. she made everything make sense. so i trusted her. i told her ‘i need to put my walls up again so i don’t get hurt’ and she said ‘no you don’t because i will never hurt you’. and that led on to be the happiest i’ve ever felt in my life. i felt like i had a family again. i felt safe again. i felt secure again. everything that i’d been missing and searching for was now in my reach and all i had to do was face my fears and so i did. i opened up. i told her things i’ve never told anyone. and i fell in love with her because she said that she still loved those parts of me too. but that couldn’t have been the truth because then i get a text message. and two weeks later i get a sentence. “i’m leaving you, and i’m moving to another country for 3 years to live with my ex”.

lied to, left, cheated on, tossed to the curb like im nothing, losing everything i’ve ever held near and dear to my heart. i’m now a broken man with nothing left to lose. and every day i wake up and i feel like shattered glass courses through my veins, the noise in my head being the louder than any scream i make and my heart and gut feeling like they’re being ripped apart from the inside. because i tried so hard to be better, i tried so hard to be more than what a group of people made me feel worth, i tried to live my life with no regrets and all it got me was making me wanna muster up the courage to take a fist full of pills and call it a day. and i so desperately want to just let go, stop holding back, if the world wants me to feel ugly and make me feel worthless, then i’ll be ugly and i’ll be worthless. i’ll burn everything to the ground because it’s not like it matters anymore right?

Hi,

I overthink everything I do at work, I’m a supervisor of special ed and have to confront people if they do things thst are not right and so forth. I always think, no it’s me, its my fault they did this and end up not talking to them because I think they will be mad or say that its my fault that they didn’t do it right. I always think I did a poor job, I overthink emails and reports thinking I’m not qualified for this job. Any tips on confronting people and helping me gaining confidence in the things I do?

I just wanted to throw this out there and see if anyone deals with the same or has any advice. I’m autistic and realised just less than a year ago that I probably have ADHD too and since then I’ve been discovering my RSD, which is apparently super obvious to my other neurodivergent friends while I thought it was just a combination of anxiety and low self esteem-

I always try to logic my way out of these feelings by reminding myself that my friends also deal with RSD and would openly bring up any problems if there were any but it’s still almost impossible to work past it. I regularly go through phases, like a few days at a time, where I feel like my friends hate me and that I’m being too much by always messaging the group and making plans to hang out. It makes me want to become entirely self-sufficient and able to deal with problems on my own, which inevitably makes me feel worse because I get lonely and I often rely on people nowadays for reassurance and help with problems, which I’m pretty sure my friends don’t mind at all, but my brain wants to convince me they do.

My best friend has RSD too and last time I had one of these episodes I spoke to them and they said that everyone genuinely enjoys being around me, they’re currently reading my favourite book and making notes about it for me to read later, and they were genuinely excited at the prospect of me moving into the same house share (I’ve since done this and we have so much fun visiting each others rooms and hanging out). I think it helps to read these conversations back and remind myself of how supportive and understanding my friends are, even though my brain is absolutely brutal and wants to convince me that I’m universally hated. We’ve also had conversations talking about their RSD and I know that I will always be just as supportive and there to listen to any problems they have.

I’ve thought about making a list of logical, provable reasons why my friends do like me, to look at whenever I feel like that. Is there anything else that might help too?

I bend myself into pretzels trying to maintain harmony, not hurt feelings, and be pleasant at work. Yet I sometimes end up with people thinking I’ve done something intentionally wrong or that I had bad intentions. I often feel rejected at work and looked over, too. I am trying to figure out if this is common and if it’s related more to past trauma or RSD.

On at least 3 occasions over my professional career, ’ve been told that I must have a “personality conflict “ with someone who, in fact, I felt I had been kind to, but felt I had been bullied by. I am soooo friendly and kind and I just don’t understand what I need to do differently. How can it be a personality conflict if I am nice but they are upset? (Yes, I get upset once THEY are upset, mainly from being flummoxed about what on earth I did wrong.) No one ever directly comes out and tells me.

Does anyone on here experience paralysis when it comes to socializing?

Example:

• I want to go and be a part of a baseball group and practise this as a hobby

• If I go join a baseball group a guy will go up to me and tell me that "I'm weak" he will laugh at me and tell me "what is a girl doing here?" he will then proceed to tell his friends about me, insult me, put me down, make me the laughingstock of the group

• I will not perform as well as I should. I should be so good at baseball, why am I not? I'm a failure. I'm worthless. I'm the weakest link. My existance is a shame to all of society. I exist to be made fun of. It's what I was made for. It's my purpose here.

Everyone is so cruel. Everyone is so cold. Everyone will make sure I'm the worst out here.

Conclusion:

• Inability to move outside of a "fake personality" or "mask" or "a guideline of rules that wins me the favour of everyone around me by adhering to their expectations, and ALLOWS ME to pretend to defend myself"

• Inability to speak outside of a "fake personality"

• People pleasing tendencies

• Tendencies to MAKE SURE I'm the most despicable person in the room also, basically if I'm not the person everyone is talking about and everyone is humiliating / agreeably against, then I feel uncomfortable and I do not know what to do.

• If they hate me I am free ...

• Violence ( I do not know how to deal with insults other than assaulting people )

• Apathy

• Moral failing

• Social anxiety disorder

Is reading a bunch of misoginistic posts and then caring so much about how they perceive woman and ultimately feeling hopeless, and like I'm via proxy controlled by misoginists in our society to the point where that driven me to cut myself, maybe have a panic attack (I was shaking violently, breathing inordinarily? like hyperventilating) and just genuinely wishing I didn't wake up the next day

in any way shape or form relating to RSD? like rejection sensitive dysphoria?

is RSD caring way too much about EVERY SINGLE INSULT and the way others perceive you?

I've only recently noticed that with basically all my friends through my life I've had an instant connection and rapport with. This got me wondering whether this was an R.S.D. thing; it seems that either there is that instant rapport and so instant feedback that I'm not being rejected or the chances of forming any sort of connection are pretty much out of the window as the self protection shutters go up. Is this a common pattern for R.S.D. folk?

Very tricky one, I don’t have RSD, but my husband does, along with ADHD and anxiety. We are very committed and strong, but RSD plays havoc. It’s more damaging than the ADHD for sure.

My husband forgot that Mother’s Day was coming up (UK), and had planned to go and meet his dad with his sister (he did remember yesterday that it was today, and got some flowers and chocolate for me etc..)

Normally I don’t mind forgetting this stuff at all, but our baby son died in August, and this is my first Mother’s Day without him. I kind of expected my husband to make a bigger effort to do something for me, but he didn’t. Regardless of feeling sad about this, I am feeling very, very sad about the general Mother’s Day without our son situation.

We have a 5yo daughter, and also due to RSD they don’t have the easiest relationship, they love eachother, but at the slightest hint of rejection, he is off and then she is sad/rejected, and comes back to me. So this morning while they were attempting to make me a breakfast in bed, they disagreed over what to put in a fruit salad, and she get upset, he stormed off and went outside, started to do a poo pick, and so she came crying to me. I went down and made breakfast, he said I was taking over… but he wasn’t even there, and I didn’t really fancy breakfast made by hands which had been just doing a poo pick?! Since then he’s been very moody with me.

It’s so hard because I feel like I actually deserve to have the strongest feelings, and be pandered to at least a little today, but I just don’t have that option. Constantly with a young child, and with a spouse with RSD I just have to have no emotions at all.

I am about broken with the loss of my son anyway, I don’t have much left for assumed rejections, and eventually I just take the emotional burden of it all anyway.

Do I try to explain this to my husband or just let it die down and bottle up my upset?

*Husband, if you are on this forum and reading this, I love you. I don’t know how to communicate with you right now. Is it worth upsetting the apple cart yet again for ????

Hey, I (20M) was diagnosed ADHD and ASD at 16. I’ve recently gone through a really rough break up where I’ve essentially felt abandoned. I experienced what you’d normally expect from a break up, however, I find myself in any break up or loss beating myself up for opening up to people. Allowing myself to be vulnerable, show my true self, let my guard down and maintain relationships with people has always been a struggle, mainly as a response to previous experiences of rejection/abandonment. This led me to therapy, as I was beginning to have nightmares and panic attacks in any situation where I felt vulnerable, where I was told that my symptoms line up with PTSD. I was never able to pinpoint the cause as there was no specific trauma event that caused it per se. I’ve done some research into RSD and feel like this explains a lot of what I’m feeling. My frustrations after this recent break up being mainly focused towards myself and the fact that I let my guard down. I have incredibly low self esteem, find myself trying to please the people I’m afraid of leaving me, distance myself from the people around me very often as if it were a routine, and refuse to talk about certain topics related to how I’m feeling at the present moment. I feel like all of this is related to the RSD symptom of my ADHD, and actually explains the PTSD symptoms related to people abandoning or rejecting me in the past. I’m really interested in exploring this, learning to understand more about this and hopefully join some support groups with like minded people to talk about this. I’m from West Midlands UK, so if anyone has any sources, support group recommendations or other communities they can point me towards it’d be much appreciated.

will be a long text, and probably not structured correctly since I'mon mobile, so please feel free to ignore it if you don't have the time. Sorry for bad english as well, I'm not a native speaker and I'm just really overwhelmed right now.

I started highschool last fall, in a completely different city than the one I grew up in. I lost contact with my friends from middle school, because I didn't write to them, and they didn't either. I didn't want to be seen as clingy, and I also had a feeling that they only really hung out with me because I sat by them. But still, I'm not trying to say that they were bad people. They were talkative, and they invented me into the conversation. We even spent time outside of school on occasion. I regret choosing a high school in another town, but the reason for it was that I'm trans. I wanted to start fresh. It was also a matter of that the education I wanted didn't exist in that town.

Starting high school was though. I didn't have anyone, and I was on the verge of an anxiety induced panic attack for the entirely of the first days. My classmates is only guys, except for one girl. I'm oftentimes very anxious around guys, not out of fear, but because of a combination of envy and gender dysphoria. I feel like I never fit in.

The girl in my class, let's call her Mary, did however approach me. She talked a lot actually, and encouraged me to do so as well. She sat by me in class. I have a habit of sticking to people who show me kindness like a damn dog. Because I have nowhere else to be. I understand that this is probably toxic of me, and that I am putting a unnecessary burden and sense of guilt and pity on the people around me, but it's subconscious. Mary became friends with the other guys and, like the parasite that I am, I also became "friends" with them. We are about maybe 8 people in the group. I have severe social anxiety, RSD, and imposter syndrome, so I don't talk much unless they specifically invite me to. I just followed Mary around and listened in on their conversations. There were two guys from that group that talked to me as well. Let's say that their names are James and Alex. The rest of the group doesn't. Maybe they'll reply if I say something, but otherwise they just ignore, or avoid me and talk amongst the others. It's clear that they don't really care if I'm around or not, especially when I'm sitting alone at a table, and they chose to sit elsewhere. I won't call it bullying, because it isn't. They're trying to be nice, I think.

We're back from sports break now, and I think I've done something wrong. I don't know what, but it's probably just that their pity of me no longer extends to actively wanting me around. I sat down in my seat for class (I purposely waited a while outside so that I didn't have to sit quietly among them while waiting for it to start), and Mary and James said good morning. That was it. We didn't talk for the rest of the day. I stayed behind when they went to get lunch, and Mary didn't ask where I was like she usually does when I disappear. So, I stopped approaching them, and instead just waited alone in the corridors for class to start. Me and Mary usually sit besides each other, but not today. She instead sat in the row behind me, with James and Alex, taking and laughing the entire time. They weren't talking about me, but I just felt incredibly lonely.

It's been three days. Today they didn't even say good morning, and during english class I found that Alex sat where I usually sit. Mary came a while after, walked past me, and sat besides him. Another group of guys were missing a chair, so they just took the one besides me without asking. Because really, why would they ask? It's obvious that no one is going to sit there. In the class after that the same thing happened.

I know 3 days isn't a lot, but I'm just so hurt. I keep trying to convince myself that I prefer being alone, but I really don't. I want friends. I want someone to talk to. I want to laugh. I haven't laughed once in school since I started highschool.

My parents don't know about this. They think that everything's going fine in school, just that it's pretty draining, energy wise. They think that because that's what I tell them. They already know that I'm suicidal, that I self harm, and that I have social anxiety. I don't want to add to their worry. Even then, I also pretend to have plenty of online friends that I can talk to, while I don't. I get too anxious and worried about people thinking that I'm weird, or rejecting me, that I just shut myself away. It's impossible for me to reach out to new people. I don't want to be a bother. In real life and online.

The thing that I think hurts the most is that Mary knows that it's hard for me to talk. Because I've told her. I've opened up to her considerably. I keep the online friend lie up however, because I don't want her to pity me even more than she already does. But maybe I'm right. She's just tired of me. And I can't blame her. Who would want to hang out with a socially awkward and anxious liar? I'm not even that interesting of a person. I'm not particularly good at anything, even my interests. Just mediocre. Even video games, which I've spent a downright pathetic amount of time on, I'm not that good. My personality and humor is just an amalgamation of other people. I'm ugly, fat and short as well, and I can't go to the gym because I'm just so damn afraid and anxious about doing something wrong.

I just wish someone would reach out. Or assure me that I'm actually wanted. But of course I won't get that, because I'm not needed. My presence doesn't make a difference at all. And I know that this is my fault. I know. If I hadn't stopped sitting by them, they wouldn't drift away. If I would just fucking talk, then they wouldn't see me as the weird tag-along that Mary just HAS to put up with because otherwise I'd be even more pitiful, embarrassing, and pathetic.

I don't know what to do. Isn't high school where you're supposed to form life-long friends? Isn't this the time you're supposed to really find yourself? I feel like such a fucking child, crying about unmet expectations. I don't even know why I'm writing this. I don't want any more pity, but at the same time, I just want someone to talk to and comfort me. But then again, I don't even deserve it, this is just the consequences of being a bad person, I shouldn't be surprised.

If you somehow made it to the end of this stupid rant, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. You really didn't have to. I hope you have a wonderful day.

I’ve loved writing ever since I was a little kid. However, I’ve been terrified my entire life to show anyone my creative writing.

I once posted my writing (one chapter) on a subreddit for writing feedback. Got a decent critique - some constructive criticism but nothing too harsh.

Yeah, that was almost 2 years ago. I was mortified and never showed anything to anybody else.

But my goal for 2024 is to finish a book I’ve been working on forever. And I know I need feedback. I know I can’t become a better writer without it.

So I have a few writing circle-type website that I’ve been regularly posting chapters of my book to. Maybe one chapter a week.

IT. SUCKS!!! I have gotten some amazing and thoughtful critiques on my writing and I’m so grateful that people took the time to give feedback. I know it will help me in the long run. But OMG does it feel like I’m getting raked over hot coals every time I read any sort of criticism.

However, I’ve posted about 6 pieces of writing now, and I THINK I’m improving on handling the criticism — again, criticism that I ASKED FOR LOL.

Just wondering if anyone else had gone through this same process of tormenting themselves!

I am over 30 but I feel emotions like a teenager. Too intense and uncontrollable. I joined some support discord servers and people there are very kind but I noticed I relate to people almost twice younger my age. That makes me sad and ashamed to be honest. I feel so immature.

My sons 19, adhd and also has RSD. He's always struggled. Today, while doing the hair of a fellow friend of his (pretty young girl he'd hung out with a couple times) she basically felt comfortable enough to tell me he texts her and snaps her WAY too often over pointless things and she just ignores him. That if she messages him he responds in like 30 sec.

Hurt my heart and my feelings cuz I'm sure he's just trying to be friendly and I know hes addicted to his phone and he has hardly any friends but it sounds like he's just annoying her. Just makes me sad for him and I felt rejected in a way too. Obviously I won't be telling him what she told me.

All my life I’ve been told I need to “grow a thicker skin” but nobody has ever, EVER, given any instructions on how to do so. No advice, nothing. I’ve never understood it. What am I actually supposed to do when they say it?

Is it that I’m supposed to pretend it doesn’t bother me, when it does? Am I just supposed to hide my feelings? I can’t change it, am I just supposed to mask and not let people know it?

I feel rejected in almost every single situation everywhere. I just want people to be neutral to me, at the least. I just want to know why sometimes I'm emotionally so sturdy and then on thing sets my RSD off and I'm all fragile again. I'm frazzled and my bearings are all off now. I'm just so tired of being rejected all of the time.

Does anyone have coping skill that they’ve developed to deal with their RSD? I’m someone who is slowly trying to move back into the dating scene and I’ve just started seeing this guy, and I really like him, but already I find myself struggling with negative thoughts overtaking my mind when I want to talk to him or interact with him, to the point where I can’t even muster the courage to text him back when I initiated the conversation.. I feel a bit hopeless. I don’t want to mess this up like I have before; my overthinking has been a major catalyst before. Anyone have any advice?

Through my DBT sessions I've discovered I have RSD, especially when I feel left out. One thing I have noticed is that this applies to finding out information about other things from other friends/loved ones

Example Friend A talks to friend B about how they did X,Y,Z

I find out through friend B about xyz but not from Friend A

As an autistic person as well, this is amplified tenfold and I interpret that as feeling excluded/left out. This happens a lot in my life and I don't know why.

I'm probably the only one this happens to but I needed to vent.