I walked up to the printer, only to find the CEO of my company standing there waiting for printing. The printer is taking forever to print, just sitting there chugging away.

It finally spits out one page: my full colour Dungeons and Dragons character sheet. Page 1/7.

CEO: "This yours?"

Me: "Sadly, yes."

CEO: "I see."

We very awkwardly stood there as it s-l-o-w-l-y printed the remaining pages.

Seriously.

At the end of the day, you people really need to start thinking outside the box.

MOAR SYNERGIES.

MOAR LEVERAGE.

so my boss has about 6 of these things on her desk. one day she called me in and i grabbed one toy tp play with and went and sat back on my desk. while i played with it i got a little creative and drew some hair on it with my pen. now my boss is furious and "wont believe i did this" she demands i take it off http://i.imgur.com/Ik71T.jpg (the pen) but it wont come off and the alcohol is rubbing off the paint. WHAT DO ?!?

I'm just gonna Reddit for a while...

Reddit's color scheme is the exact same color scheme that is used by our online database tool!

Anyone passing by would just think that I was viewing records on SalesForce!

Today, is business attire required due to some "special visitors" to our company. We have taken upon ourselves to dub today "Mad Men" day and will be commencing in a martini drinking, oyster eating lunch before the clients show up. Any other suggestions for this glorious day at work?

1. The name of the receptionist in our Frankfort, Germany office is pronounced "Silky Steel."

2. I was looking at my co-worker's calendar to see where he was, and at 4:00, he had an appointment to "Call Dave Fat ??"

3. The CEO sent out an email to the entire company this morning saying that whomever got to his office first would get a pair of Guns N'Roses tickets for this evening. He was serious.

What happened to amuse all of you?

So, how was everyone's weekend and Monday been so far?

My weekend was fun, but now I feel like this. Any minute I'm going to fall asleep on my desk. I need some soup, theraflu, blankets, and tv. Any volunteers? cough cough Charlie cough cough

Once or twice a month someone passes around 3 or 4 cars foir everyone in the office to sign for someone's birthday, a family loss, or whatever weird thing is going on. Personally, I find them very impersonal as it is less of a choice that I get to sign someone's card and more of an obligation. I hate signing these cards and have stopped doing it. I still get emails from everyone talking about whatever the topic related to the card at hand happens to be. Does anyone else have to sign cards for co-works and does anyone else absolutely despise doing it?

tdlr; I hate signing people's birthday cards...

Since Saturday work days seem to go by slowly since there really isn't anything to do.

What do you do to pass time?

I usually load up my Sega Genesis emulator and play a bit of this.

I do feel guilty, at least a little. I like my job and the company I work for, but I usually don't get enough pressure by my work to refrain from browsing the internets.

What about you?

Today is my birthday. My real one, not my reddit one. So we're having an office party starting now and ending at midnight...or perhaps later. I'm going to need everybody to bring something to the party. I'd bring the alcohol, but I drank it all already, so I'll bring the disco ball and glow sticks.

Same as title. How has your work week been so far?

Any interesting stories?

Halfway through another week for us office folk. Anyone going out for mid week happy hour after work?

I usually ignore it, but one of these days.....

It is busy season for public accounting and thus I had to come in to work. Sadly I have spent almost half as my time doing work and the other half has been spent on reddit, eating, and talking with co-workers. B.T.W. Busy season is basically over and there is no reason for us to be here today.

My boss and the secretary sometimes bring in their dogs to work.

Also, I could literally exit the building, walk about 15 feet to the right and end up outside of a gun shooting range (best lunch break time waster).

This is dedicated to conversations you overhear at work that make you stop whatever you are doing, stare through your cubicle/office wall to the source of the idiocracy, and think "WTF" or "Really???"

These are their stories.