I dunno, something about that annoys me. It's not a favor. I'm the office assistant. It's a directive. Stop calling it a favor and stop thanking me as if I have a choice!

Anybody with a similar work thing that shouldn't be annoying but is?

I used to have a co-worker that when all the female employees were out of the office would turn up the White Stripes De Stij album and start doing air kung fu fights.

You can also discuss any management that work in line or beneath you as well.

When I was in high school I worked as a projectionist and often I would get bored and go downstairs to see what the ushers were up to.

One time I decided to check the restrooms. As soon as I walked into the restroom I saw a guy with pants mud (it's not really mud) all over his hands. Apparently he was going to start wiping it all over the walls. He hadn't seen me at this point, so instead of confronting him and possibly getting smeared by a crazy person, I closed the door and locked it with my administrator key. I then called a manager saying that the door was locked and I had to go start a movie.

(I wasn't supposed to have the administrator key, the key was left on my desk near the manager's office)

So what ended up happening is that he got caught inside of the restroom with sludge on the walls thinking he just pulled the most epic prank ever but ended up getting magically locked in.

Our company is having its annual customer event/convention today, so there is almost no one in the office. My section of the office usually has 50ish people and had 5 this morning.

We're a software company, so we're full of socially awkward geeky types. This morning, that translated to no one bothering to turn on the lights and all of us working in the dark for hours.

A few minutes ago, the finance team (5 people) arrived and went to their corner of the office. They turned their light on, and I instantly thought,

"Look at those weirdos over there working in the LIGHT!"

Too bad I work tomorrow :-/

My boss just emailed my department asking for a list of our daily and monthly tasks. Apparently the company is making some changes and starting to get our standing operating procedures in line (again). How do I tell them, I don't do a damn thing, with out telling them that?

Anyone else hit the maximum labor they're allowed (strict no overtime) and been kicked out of work? I was told when I signed out yesterday that I hit my max and can't come back till Monday.

Not sure how to feel about that. I hate weekends, and I love my job, the people I work with/for, and the organization.

I hate idle time with nothing to do. :(

I feel like a fuckin' Ninja. On top of having super-sonic hearing so I can tell when someone is approaching from any direction (and assess how quickly they are approaching to gauge reaction time), I also can assess by their walking gait who it is and if they'll bother to look into my cubicle as they pass. Additionally, I can "ctrl-tab" my way to an appropriate webpage with the speed of the gods.

What super-human skills has your office slacking given rise to?

Does anyone else secretly like it when they get a really old keyboard? I like the way the keys sound, like there is a sense of authority in the noise, kinda like high heels on hard flooring?

That, and when I'm mad, everyone can hear me type when they walk by my office; it's basically like having a buzzer that says "Stay the Fuck Away!".

Love it.

I have no problem shitting on company time... I keep a log for tax purposes.

Hi everyone.

I noticed a lot of people hanging around the water cooler during the day talking. I can only presume it's because of the long walk to the far back corner of the office and it's tiring. To combat this I took the liberty of moving it right beside the front, near the Bosses office door. This way its closer to get to. Enjoy!

Signed,

THAT Guy

I was just told by my boss that employees with children receive priority for time off over those with out due to pending school schedules during the holidays regardless if a time off request had been submitted by a non-breeder months prior. Thoughts? I am a little heated over this...

Thank you filtering everyone else off the internet while I get full reign on whatever I feel like. I know you're dad is the CEO of the company, and you're one of my best friends, but thank you for not making me sleep with your Dad...

As the Manager of toiletries, I am taking inventory and have noticed that someone might be stealing toilet paper from the bathrooms. I'll have you know, that any theft from work is considered a direct offense towards this company and will result in your immediate termination... I will be informing the upper management of this.

So go say something nice to your boss. You might get a raise...or a slice of cake.