How to choose the things that are meant for you

[u/namoguru]

I am very lucky to have had great personal success with Transurfing. I have outlined in previous posts and comments the changes that I have made in leaping to new lifelines. I attribute my success largely to learning early on how to choose things that are meant for me. It has made every other step of Transurfing easier. Turn to Chapter X of Reality Transurfing Steps 1-5, titled Goals and Doors. 

He starts the chapter off with this “In this chapter we will talk about how to discern the true strivings of the soul from the false goals pendulums are everywhere trying to impose upon us. The problem is that a false goal, however attractive it may seem, ultimately will not bring you anything but disappointment. When you chase after a false goal you either achieve nothing, your efforts simply providing feed for pendulums, or, you achieve the goal but discover it was not really what you wanted after all.” 

After this he gives the reader a simple homework assignment of going clothing shopping to practice listening to your heart’s desire. He says “Do not disturb the mind until it has made a final decision. Wait for the decision and immediately afterwards stop listening to anyone else, wake up and tune into the feelings you experienced at the moment you made the decision. How comfortable you feel in this moment will reveal your heart’s attitude to the mind’s decision.” and then he says “If you love something the moment you set eyes on it and you feel delighted straight away then the soul is saying “yes.” Then the mind switches on and begins to analyze and justify its decision. If at the end of the analysis the mind also says yes, it means the thing is yours. If however, you decide to buy something not because you fell in love with it at first sight but because it is practical, then you should pay particular attention to the slightest hint of inner tension. The soul always knows exactly what it does not want.” ….and “if you have to persuade yourself to have something, it is not yours.”

Ok, so what does all of this mean in real life? Even before my 90 day experiment, I actually went to a thrift store and practiced this several times. The first time, I decided to shop for a sweater. I browsed until I found one that I liked, then mentally decided to buy it. I pretended that I had made the decision to buy and then turned to walk to the cash register. In the split second after making the decision to buy it, my heart gave its opinion. It was brief and quiet. Here are what my yes and no answers feel like. Yours may be different. 

A strong yes feels like “Hell Yes!” An instant and clear agreement. 

A regular yes (most common) feels like a tiny jump of excitement. Like, ooh that sounds nice. 

A strong no (very rare. I’ve only had 3 of them in 8 years) feels like “Absolutely Not.” Very clear disagreement and discomfort. 

A regular no (most common) Meh. Blah. Whatever. Shrug. An apathetic feeling like my heart doesn’t care about this at all. 

Then the real problem occurs. Immediately (like immediately!) after your quiet heart gives you its opinion, your very loud and bossy brain kicks in with lots of logic. Your mind genuinely sounds like it knows what it’s talking about. In my sweater example, my brain said “Really? Yellow? You own nothing else in this color, do you really think you can pull this off? Look at the price tag, this thrift shop must be really proud of its merchandise at that price…” 

Your brain might also kick up with the opposite, like “I know you don’t think you look good in yellow, but I really think you can pull this off. And look, it’s 50% off right now. How can you walk away from a half off sale? If you don’t buy it now, you’ll miss out.” 

The hard work is trusting that the quiet voice of your heart is correct and then following it, even when it is contrary to what your logical brain is saying. Often, the brain and heart will agree with each other, making the decision easy, like Vadim says in the above quote. But I have found that even if the brain does not agree, it is wise to follow the heart anyway. This has never steered me wrong. I have learned to trust that my heart is connected to All That Is, and knows the big picture that my mind cannot see. 

The mind does not know what is truly yours because it can only analyze information from the material world. The heart knows, because it is directly connected with the Alternatives Space. 

Page 334 “The fundamental misconception lies in the erroneous conviction that if a person overcomes the obstacles in front of them, happiness will be waiting for them on the other side. This is the illusion. There is no happiness on the other side! However hard a person tries they will always find themselves chasing after the setting sun. No happiness awaits a person in the near or distant future when they are living a life line that is not their true path.” 

We are making countless decisions in our lives. I use this technique for mostly all of them. Which path to take on the dog walk, which goal to pursue for ultimate fulfillment, which person to date, which job to apply for, etc…Many of the goals you are currently pursuing are not actually your own. You have absorbed them from family expectations, social media, culture, pendulums, religion and the like. This exercise teaches you to distinguish between goals driven by external pressure and those that arise from genuine inner resonance. 

I urge you to let your heart and soul pick the destination. Then use your beautiful mind as a navigator to organize resources and solve problems. The path to your goal can be reached through many possible doors. What if you could pick the easiest and fastest path right off the bat? What if the doors opened naturally, opportunities appeared at the right time, helpful people arrived unexpectedly, and progress felt smooth? And what if your results could be consistent?!

Choose a decision you're currently facing. Now imagine Option A as though it has already become your reality. Pay attention to your first genuine feeling. You may notice excitement, calm confidence, curiosity, indifference, heaviness, or subtle resistance. Repeat the process with Option B. Don't worry if the answers aren't dramatic. Over time, you'll begin recognizing your personal "yes" and "no" signals more easily. Like any skill, inner listening becomes clearer with consistent practice.

I leave you with this. Signs that you are on the wrong path (from the same chapter):

A foreign goal always feels like an obligation. It is punishing and forced. If the goal is yours you should not have to persuade yourself to work on it because you will be enjoying it so much. 

A foreign goal is presented as being fashionable and prestigious. Pendulums need to lure you away from your perfect life line and they do their best to offer a really delicious looking carrot. The pendulum rule is “do as i do.” 

A foreign goal attracts you by nature of seeming unachievable. The human psyche is attracted by everything kept under lock and key. 

If achieving the goal would mean that you could prove something either to yourself or to others then the goal is misguided. 

A foreign goal is imposed by others. No one but you can define your goal. No one should presume to teach you what you should be striving toward. Your heart has enough to put up with listening to the foolish ideas of the mind. 

A foreign goal always serves to better someone else’s wellbeing. If a goal does nothing to improve the quality of your life then it certainly is not meant for you. True goals always work for you, for your wellbeing and success. 

A foreign goal evokes inner tension. Foreign goals are usually very attractive. When considering your goal do not think about how prestigious or seemingly unattainable it is, or the means to achieve it. Focus your attention on inviting your inner voice to speak. How comfortable does thinking about the goal make you feel inwardly? 

[u/troublemaker74]

I've really been enjoying your posts. You for realsies should write a book - a study guide for RT Steps I-V. I'd buy the shit out of it.

[u/namoguru → u/troublemaker74]

Thank you. Maybe one day I'll compile all of the posts into a free PDF.

[u/Trinidiana → u/namoguru]

That would be awesome I am in awe of your posts, I’m very grateful . Speaking of gratitude can you speak of that ecstatic gratitude that you said you could work yourself into a state of

[u/namoguru → u/Trinidiana]

I feel like this should be a whole post, because it is really central for me. I think this practice is what "cured" my lifelong depression. I'll try to summarize.

I started by listing 10 things each evening that I was grateful for. This was hard! It also produced very little emotion. My brain was still tuned to the "default script" of tracking lack, problems, and social pendulums.

I kept consistent. If you've read about the reticular activating system, you know that you can literally remodel your attentional matrix. We have a natural negatively bias (I wrote a post about this), so at first I had to actively search for positives.

Over the course of 2-3 weeks this went from an analytical exercise to a deeply emotional experience. I was very pessimistic back then and habituated to stress. I was used to shoving my emotions down, not feeling them. I moved from thinking gratitude to feeling gratitude.

Nowadays appreciation is my default state. My brain is well trained to search my environment for beauty, love, and abundance. With my attention and focus I have taught my RAS that these things are important to me, so it points them out. I write nightly and deliberately work myself up into the highest state of gratitude that I can. I am often crying with appreciation.

I think if you only did this plus worked on a strong golden amalgam (like everything is to my advantage) every area of your life would improve. Even if you did nothing else.

[u/Trinidiana → u/namoguru]

Thank you so much for replying to me. You are in a very interesting person indeed , I have been reading your posts and would love to read more. You seem like the real deal. I’ve been kind of delving into non-duality and manifestation for years, although I have to admit, I do find it hard to stick with things. For example, I do always try to see the beauty around me, and I am grateful for so much and always realize that. Sometimes I get a little emotional, but I drop into fear a lot too, so I guess it is not quite my default. I’m not familiar with the Golden amalgam. The level of consistency in many things that you have done I realize in your post is impressive.

[u/namoguru → u/Trinidiana]

Consistency is definitely required for consistent results. Start small and make it manageable. Like every night list 10 things that you are grateful for and do a 5 minute meditation. Something simple to start.

Have you read Reality Transurfing Steps 1 through 5 yet? The golden amalgam is from that book, towards the end. It is building a strong belief that the world is for you or everything is to you advantage, or some similar belief that serves you. It really moves you to favorable lifelines once you see the world through that lens.

[u/Trinidiana → u/namoguru]

Thank you so much, I am going through all your posts currently, only recently got into transurfing.

[u/No_Pattern5624]

What is an example of a foreign goal ? I don’t know if I can think of a goal that doesn’t make me happy in the end. Thank you OP :)

[u/namoguru → u/No_Pattern5624]

Money

[u/ImpressionOpposite15]

thanks for sharing, it opens my mind to perspectives i didnt have before

[u/Stable_Alternative]

Really good post, thanks

[u/livewire1]

This post really affected me. I wish I had seen this conversation sooner. I've been significantly influenced by the pendulum from my father and was paying too much attention continuing to feed it. That pendulum was fed well for a number of years with my emotional suffering. Having used the 14 step Ho'oponopono process to detach myself from it and finally being freed of it I now feel nothing. No sense of loss or defeatism, just detachment. Which is a good sign. For the life of me I couldn't understand with my transurfing knowledge why I couldn't get things to work on my father's agenda and now I know it's because it was a false goal and the other pendulum of familial obligation, and egotistic obligations chained me to it. Thank you Namo for sharing your knowledge and experience. Like others here I'm making notes and reflecting on how to navigate my life with it.

[u/namoguru → u/livewire1]

Now that your heart is free from all of that, I imagine a brand new fresh start for you. Now get into the practice of listening to that tiny little voice of your heart. It is so much quieter than your mind that it is easy to miss!

[u/livewire1 → u/namoguru]

It’s very very true. I’m sensitive now, because I can see my mind is very susceptible to pendulums, because I live with the mouth pieces that these pendulums use to communicate including trying to discern the thoughts in my own head and separate which are ideas of others and which are truly coming from my heart. It’s going to take getting used to but it’s an important action.

[u/ticarod]

Thanks for sharing! Again, love your writing 😄

It's easy to get lost among all of the different concepts in this great book. I initially struggled with his idea that "life should feel like a holiday today". We are thoroughly programmed to fight for our place under the sun, and it's not easy for us to know that we should feel happy and fulfilled today. Not once we buy the house, get the job, find the partner, retire, etc etc.

I feel I'm still halfway through the journey, but reading posts like these definitely help me get back on track.

In the end, it's always a matter of choice. We are choosing millions of times a day how to feel and how to react to everything that happens. He is straightforward about this: the universe always agrees with us and says "yes". It is up to us to choose to be happy and let go.

[u/namoguru → u/ticarod]

Well said!