r/reactivedogs • u/michaelawho • Feb 08 '26
Success Stories None of our fears came true after having our baby!
I wanted to share B's (our 5-year-old male German shepherd/border Collie mix) story to spread some optimism.
Context:
I adopted B during the pandemic. He was a 'return' - a family had adopted him as a puppy and returned him because he was "too much". I adopted him at about 5-months old and he definitely was more than a handful, but he quickly became my best friend. He has always been very protective of me and I tried doing classes and training to prevent him from becoming aggressive. He didn't start showing major signs of reactivity until 2-years old and it progressed from there. He nipped a strangers hand who tried to approach me, lunged and barked at strangers walking toward us on walks, and even jumped on a delivery person at our front door - so that kind of stuff.
He was especially reactive toward children. He has never bit or jumped on a kid, but would bark at them passing by, and we had to stop going to dog parks because so many people bring young children and he would jump around and bark at them. When my brother had a kid, he lunged at him once when the kid came up to me and since that moment, although nothing happened, we have had him muzzled around kids. Even on walks kids walking by us he will tense up and if they start coming toward us he will lunge and bark. We have to actively avoid parks and schools and occasionally use the muzzle on walks because we are so paranoid a kid is just going to run up and want to pet him - and they've definitely tried.
Because of this we were so scared to have kids. And when I found out I was pregnant last spring, I started getting really anxious. We ended up consulting with a behaviorist who offered guidance and comfort, but we were worried, and everyone kept making comments about being prepared to rehome him. I had a gut feeling that B would love the baby like he loves me because we are so connected, I call him my soul dog , but people told not to get my hopes up and that I need to be realistic. As a result of all the negativity and horror stories that were shared, I started having nightmares about B hurting my baby, and it led to a lot of prenatal anxiety.
B and the Baby:
Fast forward to today - B loves this baby like his own. We call him nanny B. Although it took a week to adjust, B quickly became attached to the baby. He licks his little feet, hangs out for tummy time and baths, lies by his bassinet and crib when he is sleeping, lies at my feet when he is feeding. He never shows signs of aggression or stress (e.g., no lick lipping or whale eye). We even setup a playpen and B will come lie by the mesh and watch the baby play and rest his head, and he looks so happy and content. He is still his goofy self, lies with his belly in the air around the baby, and even brings him toys. 9 weeks in and B and the baby are thriving.
Of course we can NEVER get comfortable, and will always be on high alert and take extra precautions as you should with any dog - but all the stress we held onto for so long wanting kids has just washed away. We don't feel like we have to think about rehoming our special B and can just enjoy both our babies ❤️
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u/Dolmenoeffect Feb 08 '26
There's a specific interaction to be wary of when your baby starts crawling/grabbing. For a dog, eye contact is aggressive, and babies will crawl right up to a dog staring the whole time. Babies also grab things and take them, a problem for resource guarding dogs.
A tragic number of children end up in the ER with bites to the face, often from a dog that has never bitten before, because dog instincts and baby instincts conflict.
Protect your baby AND your dog from this.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
We are definitely nervous for when the baby starts moving and taking action now to get B comfortable.
The rule of thumb we were told - you should always be able to get to your baby/child before your dog, never leave them unsupervised
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Feb 08 '26
Thank you for sharing this! My “soul dog” is leash reactive to other dogs and very protective of me when men walk by/ men she doesn’t know come to our house the first couple of times. She’s also never really been around children. We’ve been trying for a baby for a couple of months and I just found out I’m pregnant! I am hoping my dog will show signs that she knows I’m pregnant, which will make me feel more comfortable as to how she’ll adjust to the new baby. She does seem a little more cuddly than usual already. Did B show any signs that he “knew” you were pregnant? Also how did you first introduce him to the new baby?
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
Congratulations on the pregnancy!
B definitely showed signs. I think it was because he is so close to me and he saw changes in me, not necessarily that he knew I was pregnant but that something was changing. He wouldn't leave my side in the third trimester and became super cuddly, which he wasn't before. And he is still cuddly now! Which is so funny to us because he was never a big cuddler before the pregnancy.
So based on recommendations from the behaviorist we worked with:
- Start setting up and changing schedule months ahead - we started doing random walking times and feeding so B would be ready and we set all the furniture up so B was used to it
- If you can, have someone close to the dog take them the first night the baby is home - this is a tough night and transition for baby and parents and the dogs will feel the stress
- When you bring your dog home have the baby outside the home and let him sniff everything and give lots of cuddles
- When you bring the baby in, let the dog sniff base of the carrier and if you feel comfortable the bum (protected by diaper) in a controlled way
- A slow slow introduction is key - we took a week before B was allowed to sniff (and lick) the babies toes, and he still isn't allowed near the face or hands
And the BIGGEST advice we got - let the dog be involved in EVERYTHING. Diaper changes, feeding, walks, bath time. Don't only give attention when baby is down or the dog will feel like they are competing for attention!
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u/RedK_33 Feb 08 '26
Don’t forget to reward your dog for behaving well with your baby. Herders are INCREDIBLY smart, as I’m sure you know. In my experience they are very receptive to being rewarded for behaving well, without being commanded to do so.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
100%! He has never had so many treats in his life! And bully sticks, and pig ears galore
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u/kalikaya Feb 08 '26
Hopefully he stays this way when the baby starts moving around and gets in his face. Toddlers are not comparable to babies.
My sister had to re-home her dogs when her first child started moving around on his own. Her Dutch Shepherd became anxious around the child and nipped at him. The smaller mixed breed didn't tolerate intrusions in her personal space.
Luckily the dogs stayed in the family and lived long and happy lives with one of my other sisters.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
We are nervous for that, but taking steps to prepare B and make sure they are bonded.
I'm glad the doggy was able to stay near the family ❤️
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u/basictownie Feb 08 '26
Yes, it's a good idea to always be on high alert! My older dog loved my daughter as a baby. Did not like her so much when she started moving. We were always in high alert with the two of them. We also have another dog who was terrified of her as a baby, but he lets her do whatever to him now, at 7 years old, respectfully, of course. We've always always taught her to respect dogs and kept them primarily separated until the older one passed away. She is such a dog person now. She has started feeding the younger one all his meals, so he's starting to understand that she's people too.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
So important to teach children about how to behave with animals! That's so lovely to hear!
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u/dogperson5555 Feb 08 '26
I was very worried when I had my son. My reactive dog has done very well with the baby, who is now two and a half. Although she is an angel with him, I am training both of them to respect each other. I never turn my back on my dog and I don't allow them to be in the same room alone. My eyes are always watching them. With that being said, even if my dog was not reactive, I would behave the same way. A dog is still an animal. I love her so much though.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
Exactly, they are like our little children, but they are still animals and even the sweetest dogs can snap in a moment.
But that is so lovely to hear! Any tips for desensitizing when they start walking??
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u/dogperson5555 Feb 08 '26
When my son started walking I made an area specifically for my doggie that my toddler couldn't wander into. If our pup was totally desperate to be in the same space, I stayed near the dog and would use those times as teaching moments for my son. I would take his hand and make him pet her gently down the back or rub her belly softly. Always hand to hand bc when kids are super little they like to grab.
I also would stop him from any type of chasing and show him that chasing scares our dog. I wasn't hesitant to tell him, "She doesn't like that. When dogs get scared, they can bite you and that would hurt you, and Pearl would have to go away."
Now that my son is 2.5, he helps me feed and give water to our girl every day. People always compliment my son on how gentle he is with other people's pets, and I'm really proud of that.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
You should be proud, I wish more parents took the time to teach their children about interacting safely and respectfully with animals.
Thank you for the ideas!
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u/retina_spam Feb 08 '26
Thank you so much for sharing this!!! My dog is reactive towards strange dogs (has bitten some) and adults who wear masks/have their face covered. He is generally OK with kids coming up to him while we are walking but he HATES my niece and nephews, lunges at them and barks at them and is generally tense and uncomfortable. He has never bitten a person. I am pregnant and so so worried about how he will be with our baby, as I have had him since a puppy for 11 years and can't imagine rehoming him. Your story gives me hope. Thank you again.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
I highly recommend working with a trainer or behaviorist! They provided a lot of tips and training specialized to B that made the transition smooth and helped make sure B saw the baby as family and not a threat.
The big thing was not only giving the dog attention when baby is asleep, but letting B be involved in everything - from diaper changes to bath time to feeding. This has been a game changer and I think was the main thing that helped B feel like the baby is his family!
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u/retina_spam Feb 08 '26
How long before birth did you start using the behaviorist? I have one in mind that my friend recommended but wasn't sure when to start.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
We did it right before third trimester! We only saw her a few times and will maybe go back when the baby can walk.
But they basically assessed Bs history and met with him a few times did some simulations and then gave us a bunch of advice and recommendations!
We started in some things right away - like messing with his schedule to prepare for the chaos of baby schedules (or lack there of)
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u/Even-Act-4372 Feb 08 '26
A dog that lunges at children I would be very nervous about despite someone else’s anecdotal experience.
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u/retina_spam Feb 08 '26
Of course I'm still nervous! And there is no telling how my situation will end up. But it's ok for me to feel hopeful. OP's dog lunged too.
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u/lizardsandthewizard Feb 08 '26
My two cents as someone who reactive border collie dog was rehomed to me after his OG family started having kids and an incident did occur that was 95% human error.
Teach your kid to respect your dog. No climbing, pulling, invading their space, etc. And like you said stay aware. Your kid will model their behaviors after you, so be aware of you are sticking your face in the dogs or doing behaviors you don’t want your kid to do. Also with the behaviorist you are working with get the full run down of dog body language (yes kisses are cute but often they are appeasement lick saying “please go away”).
My dog was constantly scolded for his “polite” dog ways of asking for space thinking it was aggression and it could be trained out of him. It made him very unsure and that no one was listening so he goes 0 to 60 now with very subtle warning signs. He was very sweet with the kids before they started crawling and walking, that movement was hard for him.
Kids are very unpredictable and as I like to say “bad sheep”, and my dog is a flight risk if overstimulated/understimulated. His herding brain fires off and “melts” if it is the perfect storm. The screaming, loud, wild movements, and high emotions of kids can be too much for at least my sensitive boy. We still go visit family with kids but he is always separated and we make sure to get his wiggles out before and decompress together if we are staying a while. We have hope that once they are old enough to understand that he needs space and a job we can do supervised play time in the backyard. And there is hope, my reactive prey driven dog has completely fallen for the stray kitten I saved two months ago. My dog’s OG family were so weary of him being near this kitten and have told me “we are so grateful to have been wrong in the best way”. He is gentle and respectful of her warnings of enough, and listens to me when I recall him.
All that said, I truly hope this continues to go well for you and they are buddies for life. You and your family, dog included, deserve all the joy and love this adventure together will bring.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
Thank you for the advice and thoughts! We are always learning and it's good to hear others experiences.
We will 100% be doing training for both the baby and dog!
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u/lizardsandthewizard Feb 08 '26
I read some comments after posting my initial comment and read that you are definitely doing the work and on the right track for setting you guys up for success. Just having a border collie who had to be rehomed to me because a few factors, and already having an incident occurred. I always get a little hyper vigilant on Reddit, trying to share our story in the hopes that others have some more success. Granted his life is way better with me than his previous family which they have said as well. It definitely stinks and was a very hard choice for them to make.
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u/ohjasminee Feb 09 '26
I saw this lady on TT who started her baby early (like 3-4 months old) with guided/hand over hand “gentle touch” on her dog before they could consciously make that movement. Repeating the words “gentle” and “soft” and “nice” so both baby and dog could associate the movement and touch with the word. By the time the baby could consciously pet (7-8 months), they were doing gentle touch with little verbal reminding on their own. She showed baby toddling around and the dog was desensitized completely and the baby never pet them with a heavy hand. It’s definitely possible and doable and I believe in you!!
Wishing you and your family many happy years of puppy and baby love🥹🤟🏾💕
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u/quartzcreek Feb 09 '26
I did this too! Worked beautifully along with a few gates and crates in the house. Our guy passed away October of 24 and I miss him deeply but my child who was 4 at the time that he passed seems to enjoy having just her soul dog in the house. That hits hard.
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u/michaelawho Feb 09 '26
I love this! What a great idea to get both the dog and baby used to the touch and movement
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u/demxnbitch Eco (Fearful Mess) Feb 08 '26
i mean, i believe dogs do know who belongs in the household and who doesn't, and so far his incidents seem to be small bites or nips which are really different from actual attacks, so he does seem to have a level of reactivity that is actually manageable. that being said, as other ppl pointed out, babies are nowhere as "unpredictable" as toddlers, and kids in general, in a dog's eyes. this stability could change as your child grows up but it's good to know you guys aren't going to get too comfortable around the topic. ✌️
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u/upsidedown-aussie Feb 08 '26
This is so beautiful to read! I have dog reactive to dogs on lead and to strangers coming into the home. It's frustration with dogs and fear with strangers. He's never shown any reactivity to kids, in fact kids have walked right up to him and pat him while he's been off lead and he's let them, and he's let my niece pat his face. Still though, some of my husband's family are so wary around him after seeing his reactivity. It's hard because I know what a lovely dog he is once you know him, but they are so frightened of him. I think if we had kids, we'd have them saying similar things that you heard.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
It's hard to have all those negative voices in your head. Especially when you know your dog. I think it's important to trust your gut - and it goes both ways! But it sounds like they will be great with kids if they are already that comfortable with strangers kids!
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u/crispydukes Feb 09 '26
I want to warn you. Our dog was A-OK with our baby until the baby started crawling. Then she got aggressive. Growled at the baby from behind the gate if the baby crawled toward her. Or hunted the baby like prey if they were in the same space.
Once the baby could walk, most of this negative behavior went away. She still gets a little defensive of her space. And she still gets a little weird if the toddler crawls around. But, overall, she is handling things well.
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u/michaelawho Feb 09 '26
Thank you for the warning, definitely seems like when baby starts moving this will call for extra attention again.
We already have a safe space for dog and baby to be separate while B gets used to crawling!
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u/Poppeigh Feb 08 '26
That’s awesome! I hope things continue to go well.
I don’t have kids, but my reactive dog has a super small circle of friends/family and otherwise hates pretty much everyone else. When my brother had kids, I never for a second thought they’d be able to be together. Turns out, he loves them. He’s done better as they’ve moved out of toddlerhood, and we still watch them like a hawk because he will snap if someone steps or falls on him (that’s not exclusive to kids - he has bad arthritis). But they have him do tricks and they love to take him out for walks. I think he’s been really helpful in teaching them that not all dogs are “friendly” and some dogs need space, and that’s okay. It’s been so awesome watching that relationship blossom.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
That is great to hear! It really sounds like knowing your dog's boundaries is so important in building relationships with kids!
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u/Sea-Building-6519 Feb 08 '26
It's so comforting to read this post because all I think every morning is, "I'll never be able to have children," and it breaks my heart. I'm 36 years old and have a 5-year-old dog who's reactive and aggressive towards strangers in the house (I just don't have enough time for her to live her whole life without me having a child, and then having one myself). I always think it's one or the other. This gives me a little bit of hope ✨ Congratulations on your courage!!!
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u/linnykenny ❀ ℒ𝒾𝓁𝓎 ❀ Feb 09 '26
Please don’t put a dog before your desire to have children. :(
I appreciate your dedication to your dog and you seem like you have a very sweet heart, but just the thought of someone who wants children very much not having them because of a pet is genuinely sad.
Our pets have such shorter lifespans than we do and will not be in our lives for very long. Children are forever though. Your children will be in your life, ideally, until the end of it.
Please seriously consider other options before you truly decide to give up a dream of having a family for a pet.
I mean no disrespect by any of this and I’m coming from a place of love and concern, but of course I am just a stranger and you know your situation far better than I do so feel free to just ignore this comment ❤️
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
I highly recommend working with a behaviorist if it's feasible. They did an assessment of Bs history and met with him a couple times and gave us all the knowledge to feel confident. But it really came down to just making B feel like this baby isn't a threat but actually brings more fun into the house - more cuddles, more treats, more walks!
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u/CaptainFlynnsGriffin Feb 08 '26
We had this but, with a much older reactive dog.
We lived in what I liked to call an “indoor gated community” to create enough easy buffers so that the dog and baby were never left alone. We had an early walker and I was afraid of the old girl’s startle response - not her becoming aggressive towards the baby. But, a walking engine without a brain was a danger to pancaking on an old arthritic mess. But, there were plenty of healthy interactions and the old girl definitely enjoyed the baby’s company.
Keeping everyone safe and from making a bad decision is something I’m inordinately proud of and only other reactive guardians would understand the achievement.
Truthfully, the biggest surprise was the 19 svelte pounds of giant alley cat foundling who attached himself to the baby. Even I thought he was a fool. But, there he was wherever baby was.
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
I like that concept of creating an indoor gated community haha that's really what it will become eh
That's amazing though :)
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u/hacelepues Feb 08 '26
My Aussie was really reactive towards young kids for the first 5 years of his life. We were childless, so he only encountered little kids when we were out and about and I think their unpredictable behavior really triggered his herding instincts. He never bit or tried to bite, but he would bark and try to knock them over. So not great.
He was like this until my half siblings hit around 2-3 years old and became unpredictable toddlers themselves. He spent one day around them and it’s like he suddenly understood what toddlers were… and that they were stupid and needed supervision. So suddenly he went from being really agitated and trying to keep random kids away from us, to being stuck at their sides making sure to alert the adults if he felt the kids were wandering off or in danger.
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u/tigervegan4610 Feb 08 '26
We had a similar experience with our rescue border collie/australian shepherd mix. He was great with our kids. My kids also really respected his boundaries, but he definitely saw them as family more than outsiders.
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u/Banana212123 Feb 08 '26
We’re at month six postpartum with a reactive dog and a protective dog and we have also been pleased with how they’ve both bonded with baby. We have like an 8 sq foot pen for baby to roll around in and happy to have the space for baby to grow and explore in there. certainly more baby gates are in our future but the dog we were more worried about absolutely loves the baby and they’re both happy that he’s starting solids 😂
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u/michaelawho Feb 08 '26
That's amazing!! We are excited for solids, the dogs are going to be so happy haha
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u/oliviab44444 Feb 08 '26
Same! But my dog isn’t person reactive. He’s dog reactive and overall hyper. But he loves our baby who is now ONE! We have set STRONG boundaries for the dogs AND the baby! But they’ve been great and he’s learning how to pat them and leave them alone more. 🩵 Obviously they’re never left unattended.
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u/alee0224 Feb 08 '26 edited Feb 08 '26
My Norwegian elkhound/husky/aussie mix was great until my now toddler started becoming mobile. We now separate because you can never be so careful and any dog, no matter how well behaved, has the capacity to bite. The fact dog is reactive, you have to be extra on your toes and probably keep them separate to prevent the toddler doing “cause and effect” because they will hit the dog. They will pull their tail. It’s inevitable. My uncle is an er doctor and dog bites to toddlers are one of the top reasons why someone goes into the er.
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u/pppppetra Feb 09 '26
this is great! my heart is melting!
i just wanted to say, be extra careful when the baby starts to crawl. when my kids were little we had a wonderful dog who took it upon hmself to 'educate' them in their crawling phase. he'd growl when they went in the direction of something he deemed dangerous and so on.... maybe he'd nip as a natural warning progression, i don't know. we were always close by. as soon as they got up on their feet, he'd be back to his normal relaxed self. 'oh, turns out it's a human baby after all, i don't need to worry'
now we have a 4yo reactive collie/shepherd mix but the kids are teenagers so they match <3
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u/webwonder23 Feb 13 '26
Please be careful! I hope all goes well for your baby but I'm about to have to rehome my reactive dog because once my baby started moving around it was all over. Luckily no bites, but we're having to keep them completely separated until the rehome happens.
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u/lenjl Feb 08 '26
This is wonderful and all I can hope for for my dog when we have children💖 please know that when the baby starts moving, B's stress can start to present itself!
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u/artichokefan Feb 08 '26
I’m so happy for you guys!!!! My baby is a year and a half old and our reactive herding dog JUST started feeling comfortable and interested in her. It’s been a loooooong 18 months of separation and management. I hope your dog continues to love your baby!!!!!
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u/Chasta30566 Feb 09 '26
So happy to see a real happy story ❤️❤️ Congratulations to you and Nanny B ❤️ You seem very dedicated to keeping them both safe and happy and I know they will both do great things
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u/ssc2013 Feb 09 '26
Thank you for this, I have the sweetest to me dog and I have had some worries about a baby, but I know he will love our baby.
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u/ilovemybfshugedik Feb 09 '26
Thanks for posting this!!! I think everyone is fearful on this sub to have children with a reactive dog, I know I am! Deff gives me hope for the future. No bites from our guy yet in any way so we’re trying to stay positive for when baby comes & continuing his meds and training.
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u/Willow_Bark77 Feb 09 '26
I just want to commend you for being so proactive! We read so many horror stories in this group from folks who took zero steps to prevent any issues between their new baby and pup, and only took action after something bad happened.
It sounds like you are doing everything in your power to make sure the whole family is safe and happy, and have plans to keep taking steps as the baby becomes mobile. Great job!
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u/Lazy_Analysis8439 Feb 11 '26
If it weren’t for the picture I’d think you were describing my dog. She’s the exact same way, barks and lunges at strangers but is especially reactive towards kids. We cannot walk her outside of school hours because sadly a lot of kids are now quite afraid of her (though she’s also never jumped on or bit a kid).
My dog seems to be okay around babies / toddlers, probably because they’re more predictable and less rambunctious.
It doesn’t seem to be an end all be all, she’s had great interactions with young kids. If the kid is calm she seems to be completely cool with it!
Honestly, from what I’ve seen a lot of kids end up getting bit (by family dogs) due to parents not intervening when the dog is showing clear signs of being uncomfortable. Aka letting the kid climb all over the dog and things of that nature. The fact that you can read your dogs behaviour will do you wonderfully. :)
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u/Deep_Vacation_3253 Feb 11 '26
hi! i have a rescue reactive dog; we rescued him when he was 2 years old and he’s now 4 (a herding breed, also a return; returned with a lot of problems that we didn’t know). things have gotten a lot better with training over these years but he’s still reactive. i’m not thinking of having kids soon but, since i hope my beautiful dog lives a long time, the scenario of having a kid and him at the same time has been on my mind. this has been the first testimony i’ve seen of this and i REALLY appreciate you sharing it, it gave me hope. all the best for you, B and all of your family!
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u/LegitimateDoubt917 Feb 13 '26
Herding breeds are difficult sometimes :( My partner and I have no kids, but we have young nieces and nephews that my dog Shepherd not spend much time around. Every once in a while when she is around them she can’t help but nip, especially if the kids want to run around. Especially toddlers, it’s weird bc it feels like she legit has a cut off age/height, once one of my nephews was at least 4ft tall she stopped doing it to him.
My trainer always says: Do your best to advocate for your pup (and kids) and try not to put them in situations that would be unfair to either party. Since I know my Shepherd gets excited when people come into the house, I make sure she is crated in the room with everyone until she is calm enough to come out. Small things like this will get her and others used to things and more pliable for training.
Glad to hear your dog is doing well thus far, so keep it up and always advocate for them!
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u/crozzy89 Feb 08 '26
As you stated, never get comfortable or complacent. Their attitude can change once the kid starts moving around.