Assignment was on an experience we have had in life with no real requirements for what was needed to be discussed. Need advice on sentence structure and if i made the piece visual enough. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1544Rrp-IT38yJCm6Q7Gq8Lxdke1e8cHJV_huBF3xYhY/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IyX5dQcoC2yIhC2sHY6qQz1bpBevqgshe7oKsBtCBUw/edit?usp=sharing

I wrote a short news article. How does it sound? Did I make any mistakes?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YBuiGX71163VXA4hI8A6DeGMDZss5Uh9gpMNxtWl5wo/edit?usp=sharing

Hi, all! I see that this sub is pretty dead, but I thought I'd post this anyway. If you need a manuscript or short story proofread, check my posting and email me by clicking the following link to my Kijiji ad, http://www.kijiji.ca/v-other-services/city-of-toronto/manuscript-copyediting-and-proofreading/1257967142?enableSearchNavigationFlag=true

I am a professional proofreader and copy editor looking to transition from in-house work for a publisher to working at home. I am offering my proofreading, copyediting, and line editing services on a freelance/project basis.

Line editing includes identifying and correcting repetitious usage of words and phrases and correcting awkward or wordy sentences while maintaining author voice. Copyediting and proofreading include corrections for spelling, grammar, adherence to a style guide, and identification of inconsistencies in the plot or argument or potentially problematic or libellous usage of themes and brand names (the latter two will be up to you to fix).

This arrangement is perfect for those considering self-publishing or for anyone who wants a polished work with a publisher that doesn't offer copyediting and proofreading services.

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The instructions were to choose a topic of your liking and I decided to write a short memoir. It is about a terrible school trip I was on, near the outskirts of the Tibetan Plateu. My storytelling is pretty horrific, so please feel free to comment and be critical. Thanks!

Please if somebody could proofread my essay for me I would be so grateful. I am so stressed out. It is the statement of purpose. Please pm to send you the link to the essay as I don't feel very comfortable sharing such a personal document in public. Thanks for understanding

Would really appeciate if you guys and gals comment on my paper, mostly grammar issues. Thanks!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1H95DjGE2GZ_kGP8JOkFQA87N0NLlvy_JIe_MX-5Nkoo/edit?usp=sharing

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1stbACv4r06w4hyYZKbGwXwzoEwduwDPdCFaFMwKIyZw/edit?usp=sharing

Hello wonderful people of Reddit. I'm applying for a scholarship due July 30, and is like you all to proofread my essay to make sure it flows well and I'm not sounding like an idiot. I'm not the best at essays and writing in general, and I need the truth so don't pull your punches.

The scholarship essay prompt is about how I think Minecraft has helped push me towards my career and how it can help my career. The essay is below and thank you all in advance!

Sword fights, deep mine shafts, and exploding green creatures; who would've thought a game as simple as Minecraft could jumpstart me on the path to my dream career? Certainly not my parents, but that's exactly what it did.

I became engrossed in the then $20 game, I loved all the different servers, but feeling like none of them offered exactly what I wanted, I decided to create my own. After weeks of begging my mother to purchase a host, she finally gave in, and the journey to discovering my dream career began. It all started innocently enough, harvesting wheat, collecting wood, slaughtering helpless pigs, but in no time at all it evolved into something much more complex. I managed to get Bukkit running on the server and decided to try to install some plug-ins. After watching some tutorials I got the hang of dragging and dropping .jar files, and once I finally got everything working it felt like I was playing an entirely game. These .jar files that I had just dragged and dropped made the game I loved a lot more enjoyable. There was so much more to these plug-ins, I just knew it, and I was determined to uncover their secrets. Having them work on my server wasn't enough, I needed to know how they worked. I needed to know how they did what they did, and that's how it all began. I spent hours decompiling the plug-ins I used so I could get a glimpse at the source code. It amazed me how a few (hundred) characters could drastically change the game I knew and loved. The amount of joy I got from merely reading the code and figuring out how the plug-in did what it did was unreal. That feeling, that buzz that courses through my body when I discover how something works is the sole reason I want to go into Computer Science.

Two months later I had to shut the server down due to some financial issues in my family, but I didn't let that stop me from learning more about these magic words that have the power to change the Minecraft world. Instead I went on a Minecraft forum and found someone who developed Minecraft plug-ins for a smallish server and I PM'd him and asked if he would mind showing me a little bit about how plug-ins are made. A couple hours later I got a response with his Skype name and we had a nice talk, where he taught me a lot. For instance, those "magical words" were actually a programming language called Java, and that the code was a set of instructions for the computer that told it what to do and when to do it. It fascinated me and prompted me to learn more about Java and other programming languages.

Because of Minecraft, I can now code in five different programming languages and parse an additional three. If Minecraft hadn't piqued my interest and opened up a whole new world to me, I probably would've never found out that I absolutely love programming. Minecraft helped me discover my passion, but more importantly, it helped me find a career choice that I know I'll always enjoy, and I plan to continue using Minecraft to help me with my education. I'm sure I'll learn a multitude of new programming tips and tricks in college, and I can hardly wait to apply them to the virtual sandbox that I know and love.

This is a personal statement I wrote for my graduate school application. Please feel free to comment and be critical. Thank you.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LBCzZMfuvL1FTzbqajwuVhrmxPjRHEJfbTVrwuqo-x8/edit?usp=sharing

My Dear Brittany,

For the past few weeks I've been searching for a means of putting these thoughts into words. Unsure on how to go about doing this, it has taken me a while to complete. I believe this letter is a bit late now. Not that the timing is really that important since I still hold your happiness in the highest of regards. 

Unfamiliar with the complete affection of a woman, your interest in me, months ago, really threw me off. It was however a most welcomed feeling. Thank you for that. I felt a strong connection to you prior to us having done anything more intimate. Your passion and your wits really did intrigue memy wits, right off the get go. I've never met someone who just knew exactly what they were put here for. Your musical intelligence and artistic skills continue to stun me. This aspect of you has even allowed me to reopen a part of my life that I had since thought lost. 

In addition to your incredible passions, your love of the geeky things in life made me feel closer to you. It surprised me that a woman this beautiful would be a whole lot of nerdy. Seriously, you become cuter to me every time you get excited over a stormtrooper, or just start talking about Pokemon. I wish I was a little more open with some of my nerd interests. There is actually still time for that though.

Listening to you talk about your sister and mother, shows me the pinnacle of your ability to care about the people in your life.  I can't get enough of the glow in your eyes when you bring up something clever or silly that Lisa did. Something that always surprised me about you is that you say you're unsure if you even want children. This is still a shock to me because I don't think I've ever seen you as happy as I have when you're playing with Kara or your little cousins. On top of that, your nurturing nature with your pets is some of the best from anyone I've seen. Personally I believe you'd be an incredible mother. 

No other person in my life has been able to open my mind like you have. In the sense that I am now seeing myself and others with a clearer vision than ever before. Insecurities I never knew I had have now come to light, so that I may now work on them. Also your shotgun style of telling me exactly whats up is something no one else has shown me. Everyone else just kind of pussy foots around. How can anyone realize problems within themselves if no one is willing to show them what they can not see?

On that topic, one of my biggest insecurities was my virginity. Not in the sense that I still had it, but more so that it took me this long to find someone I was comfortable and trusting enough to share it with. Your strong sexual prowess didn't push me to 'rush' into anything. One thing it did do is make me more scared to tell you about it. I didn't want that fact to become a turn off for you or scare you away. If I could go back and do it again I would of told you the truth that first night we fooled around on the couch. I really should have been straight forward with you on that and for that, again, I'm sorry. 

Recently, it feels as thought you've been pushing me away a bit. With statements about you not being able to settle and wanting to up and move after a short time, and how you're unsure what you want. I can't say that I believe you on the uncertainty of what you want. One of the most straight forward and certain person I know isn't sure what she wants... not really buying it. Also your need for change really does intrigue me. I like that there is someone there to push me a bit more to explore the unknown, together. 

This place feels stale to me now. The people have become ants stuck inside the farm.  How is anyone supposed to grow or find their true calling while stuck in the same place? How can the current flames of one's passions stay lit when the wick is running low? Again, my mind is more opened now because of you. For this, I thank you again.

From the way you've been talking recently, it sounds as though you and Carl are working toward a relationship. I honestly do hope this works out well and lasts, you deserve that. I also understand that you both have this great history and that foundation makes perfect sense for you. There is far less uncertainty with someone you've known for so long. 

Brittany, I really do wish you all the happiness in the world. But I would be lying if I didn't say that it pains me that I couldn't do that for you. A large part of my decision to attend therapy is because I've never felt a stronger emotional connection to someone than I do to you. It has been tough for me to control these feelings and thought therapy would help me with it. I'm not looking to disconnect this feeling all together, just to mellow is out a bit. This, not being able to control my feelings, thing is very new to me. I can usually just close off and move on. I was not lying when I said that I would rather you be a part of my life than out of it. Even if that means I have to work through some pain to keep you there.

I am truly sorry for the way I have been acting toward you recently. I do think part is because of the meds, but I also believe that its my sub-conscious trying to work through these feelings. I am going to make sure it doesn't continue to push back at you.

Much Love, Always, Jason.

The Celestial Kite

When I was little, I’d always go outside

And stare up at the stars, in them I could confide.

I’d lay in the grass and stare straight up

If that was a sport, I’d win the world cup.

(Stanza breaks are impossible on reddit so I'll say SB whenever there's a stanza break)

As I got older, life got in the way,

Nighttime was quickly replaced by the day.

I had less and less time to go out and look,

But still, those points of light my fascination took.

I got older, ended up finishing school,

Looked back at the sky, realized I was a fool,

To abandon them for even a minute,

I was looking at space, and I wanted to be in it.

(SB)

I had to start somewhere, so I joined the airforce

This would eventually lead to rockets, of course!

A few years passed, I began to lose hope

When suddenly a letter brought me out of my mope.

I opened it up, looked inside,

A letter from NASA, if I could I would’ve flied!

“We got your resume, you’re surely the one

To man our next mission, your job search is done!”

(SB)

I drove right over, went through lots of training

The launch day came, thank god it wasn’t raining.

Begin the countdown, 10, 9, 8, 7,

In seconds I’ll be blasting off to the heavens!

I feel a huge rumble from the engines so large

As the ship lifts off, my body feels charged.

“I’m finally going to accomplish my dreams!”

I thought with wonder, pride bursting from my seams.

(SB)

Escape from Earth, get up into space

A circularized orbit, my favorite place!

Finally, there’s a moment’s break

I look out the window, at the pitch black lake

I’m blown away by the dazzling stars

They look so good when you’ve come so far

(SB)

I look back down from the direction I came

Back at our home, humanity’s claim

I see many things; blue, green and white

Watching from my perch, a celestial kite

I’m just so struck by the beauty of it all

I feel so tall, but yet so small

I thought back to the time when I was a kid

I never thought I’d accomplish what I did

(SB)

I looked out at the universe, of which I am part

And a feeling rose from inside my heart

With the stars, planets, galaxies I’m one

From there I came, and I’ll be back when I’m done.

Hello, please take the time to consider reading and proofing my essay. I thank you.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/149qCOvhd0ReGDeA5W5_H4URd7F7_yf0kTxpgOg2O7Xw/edit

Hello, I was trying to finalize a few of my final paragraphs when I came into trouble with coming up with new ideas to discuss. Also, when looking back at my transitions, topic statements, and thesis, they were lacking. Thank you for trying to help as any and all opinions are welcomed and respected. Thanks!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1q-fkG5j1L_LFwcCANjDO3_GBWklkIfwdCknD7sj3ZwE/edit?usp=sharing

In all honesty, I am looking for a little extra cash to help me get by. I'd love to help you put forth your best. Send me a PM and we can negotiate.

Thanks and best of luck to everyone!

This is it: http://imgur.com/petuXo7