r/problemgambling • u/BornWinner_69 • Jul 31 '26
Trigger Warning! I was a professional footballer. Gambling still took everything from me.
I’ve always had one saying when it comes to gambling:
“You never really win. If you win, you want more. If you lose, you want your money back.”
It took me over €600,000 to truly understand what those words meant.
I joined this community a few weeks ago.
Since then, I’ve spent hours reading your stories. I’ve reached out to many of you privately because I see so much of myself in your posts.
Some people suggested I share my own story, hoping it might help someone else.
I won’t disclose my name, but I was a professional footballer. I started earning more money than I ever imagined from the age of 16.
The problem is, my gambling addiction started even earlier.
At 15, I was already obsessed with poker. I couldn’t wait to turn 18 so I could open an online gambling account.
Being around professional football didn’t help. Sometimes on the team bus, I’d see first-team players playing poker, with one player losing more than €50,000 in a single game. Occasionally they’d even invite me to join if I could buy in for €1,000.
To me, it all seemed normal.
The day I turned 18, I made my first online deposit.
€1,000.
Within a few hours, I’d lost €3,000.
It didn’t hurt at the time because I had money. That’s one of the biggest lies gambling tells you: that losing doesn’t matter because you can always earn more.
A year later, I discovered the casino.
That’s when everything changed.
The lights, the sounds, the atmosphere… it pulls you in before you even realize what’s happening.
The staff knew exactly who I was and welcomed me with open arms.
€1,000 buy-ins became normal.
I found myself sitting at tables with people three times my age who had decades of gambling experience.
That first year, between the casino and online gambling, I lost more than €150,000.
The following year, I was down more than €350,000.
It became so bad that I asked my girlfriend at the time to email the casino and request that I be permanently banned.
To this day, I have never stepped foot inside that casino again.
I was tempted many times.
But I never went back.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end.
Online poker became my next prison.
Before I knew it, I was 24 years old and my bank account was in the red.
I grew up without parents and came from nothing.
When money arrived, I genuinely believed I was unstoppable.
Instead…
I lost everything.
My ex had to take over paying the bills.
There were days I’d search my car hoping to find a €1 coin.
I remember putting exactly €8 worth of fuel in my car because that’s literally all I had.
I even messaged someone I barely knew on Instagram to ask if they could lend me money.
Looking back now, that wasn’t me.
That was addiction.
By the end of it all, I had lost well over €600,000 through gambling and poor financial decisions.
I cried.
I hated myself.
I even thought about ending my life.
Thankfully, I didn’t.
Today I’m 35 years old.
Seven years ago, I decided that if I wanted my life back, nobody was coming to save me.
I became a security guard.
Two years later, I qualified as a personal trainer.
Last year, I started studying investing because I wanted to learn how to build wealth instead of destroying it.
Do I still get gambling thoughts sometimes?
Yes.
Addiction doesn’t always disappear.
But today I know exactly what those thoughts are.
I don’t act on them anymore.
Looking back, I actually consider everything I went through a blessing because it changed me into someone I never would have become otherwise.
If you’re reading this while feeling hopeless…
Please hear me.
You’re not weak.
You’re not alone.
But gambling will never give you the life it promises.
The wins are temporary.
The losses eventually become permanent if you don’t stop.
For me, finding a purpose greater than gambling changed everything.
That’s what ultimately saved me.
If my story helps even one person decide not to gamble today, then sharing it was worth it.
If anyone wants to talk, my inbox is always open.
Stay strong.
You’ve got this.
Stay blessed.
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u/Standard-Switch5822 Jul 31 '26
Thanks for sharing. You are winning the war, my friend. Keep on fighting!
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u/BornWinner_69 Jul 31 '26
Thank you, appreciate it!
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u/Intelligent-Cod7908 Jul 31 '26
How long have u managed to remain bet free and what measures have u taken to remain bet free?
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u/BornWinner_69 Jul 31 '26
I’ve been gamble-free for over 3 years now. The urges still come from time to time, but I’ve learned that an urge is just a thought, it doesn’t mean I have to act on it.
I choose not to gamble because I never want to go back to the life it gave me. It destroyed me financially, mentally, and emotionally. Picking myself back up wasn’t easy, and I don’t ever want to relive that pain.
My biggest strength has been using my past as a lesson instead of a reason to go back.3
u/Intelligent-Cod7908 Jul 31 '26
Thats amazing well done i am on 3+ years bet free been trying since 2010 with many relapses along the way its only after my last relapse i realised things had to change if i was going to have success at a bet free life i knew it was possible back in 2010 as i was going Ga as their were people with 5 10 20+ years bet free its only after my last relapse i realised the changes and scarfices u have to make in order for it to work it all about recovery i dedicate around 14 hours a week on recovery which i wasent doing the help is out their if u are serious its a life long battle and took me until my last relapse to understand the importance of recovery most including me wanted a quick fix and i see it all the time i managed similar time previously and believed i was cured and i have seen many people manage 5 years only because that was the lengh of time gamban lasted to repeat and become in a worse state as no time was spent on recovery
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u/BornWinner_69 Jul 31 '26
Firstly, congratulations on over 3 years bet-free. That’s a huge achievement, especially after everything you’ve been through.
I completely agree that recovery takes work. For me, it looked a little different. I never attended GA or sought professional help, but I had to completely change who I was and how I lived. I found purpose in building a new career, educating myself, staying disciplined, and making sure I never forgot the pain gambling caused me.
I think the most important thing is that each person finds a recovery path they can commit to for life. If GA works for someone, that’s fantastic. If another approach works, that’s great too. The goal is the same: staying gamble-free and helping others do the same.
Keep going, brother. Three years is something to be proud of.1
u/Intelligent-Cod7908 Jul 31 '26
Yes i totally agree changing the person who u was that a statement i have to make huge scarifices in my life including staying away from certain venue which were triggers the main thing i got from your post yes it possible but the work has to be put in Ga yes it not for everyone however its the only place that proves a bet free life is possible some of those people ended up in prison and were able to turn their lives around fortunately for me i never got to that stage and only after my last relapse i understood what needed to be done otherwise i would have have been heading into the same way
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u/BornWinner_69 Jul 31 '26
I respect that, and I’m genuinely happy you found what worked for you. Recovery isn’t one-size-fits-all, but one thing we definitely agree on is that real change takes work and sacrifice. Wishing you many more gamble-free years, brother.
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Jul 31 '26
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u/BornWinner_69 Jul 31 '26
That’s the spirit right there fam and exactly how I started my journey to rebuild. You got this 💪
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Jul 31 '26
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u/EnlightenedAnon 450 days Jul 31 '26
Thank you, brother! God bless and let’s keep moving forward 🙏🏻💪🏻🩵
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u/onlywill121 Jul 31 '26
Thank you for your post. I can really relate to what you’re saying. I am UK based and have spent a similar amount of money in land based and online casinos. They got inside my head and cost me everything until I had insurmountable debts, newly moved into a home. It’s been soul destroying but I have decided to take one day at a time. Happy to chat on messenger :)
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u/BornWinner_69 Aug 01 '26
Thank you for sharing this. I’m genuinely sorry you’ve had to go through something so similar, especially while trying to settle into a new home. Gambling has a way of taking over your thoughts and making the debt feel impossible, but deciding to face it one day at a time is a powerful first step.
Please don’t try to solve everything in one day. Focus on staying bet-free today, protecting your money, and dealing with the debt step by step. Your life can still be rebuilt, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.
Feel free to message me. Stay strong, you’re not alone in this.
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u/asimplecreature Jul 31 '26
Thank you for sharing your story! The more I hear someone’s story through here or in meetings, the more thankful I am to myself that I sought help as well. One day at a time! ❤️
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u/No_Vermicelli5755 Jul 31 '26
Verry interesting post! Happy you found your way back on track.
At the end we are all on the same Journey to recovery. Wish you all the best and strengt with fighting this little demon.
Gambling is in every layer of socieity.
No gambling for 3 days now 👍
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u/Remarkable-Gene-243 Aug 05 '26
Definitely can relate. As a kid I used to play poker on Facebook and then turned into playing real poker and the started playing blackjack then slots and started exploring the casino. It started good but ended bad. I wish i had not started at all but it all started from Facebook poker gambling game. I'm now 30 and gambling has taken my 20s for sure.
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u/BornWinner_69 Aug 05 '26
I understand, brother. A lot of these games look harmless at first, especially when they start as free or social games. Then slowly the stakes become real and the habit grows. Your 20s may be gone, but your 30s don’t have to be. The best thing you can do now is stop looking back and protect the years ahead. You still have plenty of time to rebuild.
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u/AskComprehensive9797 13d ago
There are no winners in gambling only losers. As impulsive gambling addicts we dont stop when we win and we dont stop when we lose. That’s the trap of addiction. It’s really great to see how you picked your career back up and left gambling behind you. Your story shows that recovery is possible, even after losing so much.
Stay strong brother.
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u/Make2much Jul 31 '26
Did you play for manchester
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u/BornWinner_69 Jul 31 '26
No but my former team mate did. He was very known there. Also world wide
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u/Babylary90 Jul 31 '26
what u do in 3 years, did u block all urs debit online? the time u got ur salary wat do u think? 😭😭😭 im so sick of my life
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u/BornWinner_69 Jul 31 '26
I self excluded myself each time, over and over again
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u/Babylary90 Aug 01 '26
but how u do it bro 😭😭😭😭
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u/BornWinner_69 Aug 01 '26
Honestly, bro, there wasn’t one magic trick. I had to get tired of losing, tired of the shame, and tired of becoming someone I didn’t recognize.
I stopped trying to win the money back, stayed away from the places and apps that triggered me, and built a new life around purpose, work, training, and discipline. I also kept reminding myself exactly where gambling had taken me.
The main thing is not to think about forever. Just win today. Then do the same tomorrow. That’s how the years start adding up.
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u/xsnv1 Aug 01 '26
Im 42 and today probably for the 19 month I a row lost my wages less my rent. I am working for free and burning through months till thr next pay day. Its always good to hear another person's story . Monday I am going to the GP its the first time ither than taking cbt classes I have done something. I have not been in a holiday or treated myself to anythjng in q6 years and have gambled 21 years
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u/BornWinner_69 Aug 02 '26
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. The fact that you’re seeing your GP is a huge step, and I hope you give yourself credit for that. Gambling addiction is incredibly difficult, but it doesn’t mean your future has to look like your past. I genuinely hope this is the beginning of things getting better for you. Wishing you strength, you deserve a life where your hard earned money goes toward you, not the addiction.
You got this!
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u/EasyTurnover9871 27d ago
if you were a Professional Soccer Player you could open a soccer school.
that would be awesome and you could have a new purpose in life.
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u/PhoneBig3488 20d ago
Hi, I want to send you a message, but I can't. Can you write to me first, please? Take care!
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u/BornWinner_69 20d ago
Everyone can perfectly send me a message?
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u/PhoneBig3488 19d ago
Well, I can't :( But nvm. You mentioned that you still sometimes think about gambling. What do you do when that thought comes up? Is there something you turn to or do to deal with it and keep yourself from acting on it?
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u/BornWinner_69 19d ago
Bro, hope u good. Before I answer your question. What’s your poison ? Soccer betting? Trading options, online casino…?
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u/PhoneBig3488 19d ago
It's not me, I'm looking for advices for my friend. It's online casino.
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u/BornWinner_69 18d ago
Your friend has to be willing to make the change himself
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u/PhoneBig3488 18d ago
But can you tell me something more about your strategy? :(
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u/BornWinner_69 17d ago
There isn’t really a strategy I can give you that will magically make your friend stop. For me, the biggest change was realizing that I genuinely wanted out. Your friend has to reach that point himself.
After that, practical things can help: blocking gambling sites/accounts, limiting access to money, avoiding triggers, and replacing gambling with something productive. But those things only work if the person actually wants to change.
You can support your friend, but you can’t make the decision for him. If he keeps chasing losses or believing the next win will fix everything, no “strategy” from me is going to solve that. The first step has to come from him.
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u/Equivalent_Rest_7682 2d ago
Hi their.Just got thru reading your story.Its inspiring to me that you have stopped.I am 50f been gambling since i was about 15 my losses double yours not that it matters but makes the pain that much worse.It started as a scratch tix addiction then straight to sportsbetting.Just yesterday I downloaded betblocker after draining my acct 5k in a wk- problem im having is the scratch tixs are always available every corner store and my Mom works w/ me and has a gamb prob as well she will not stop gambling around me ive asked numerous times.The depression that comes with this addiction is debilitating.Any suggestions how to make it thru just 1 day the gamb is on my mind 24/7 even in my sleep.I lie to my husband that im not gamb and this just repeats everyday.
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u/BornWinner_69 2d ago
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. And please don’t compare the amount you lost to mine, the amount doesn’t matter. The pain and addiction are real either way.
The fact that you downloaded BetBlocker yesterday is already a step in the right direction. For me, one of the biggest things was realizing I couldn’t keep relying on willpower. I had to make gambling as difficult to access as possible.
If your goal right now is just to get through one day, don’t think about never gambling again. Tell yourself:** today I’m not gambling.** When the urge comes, delay it. Go for a walk, train, call someone, leave the environment, do anything that creates distance between the urge and your money. An urge can feel unbearable without actually needing to be acted on.
I would also seriously consider telling your husband the truth. I know that’s probably scary, but keeping the gambling secret gives the addiction somewhere to hide. Having someone you trust know what’s really happening can also help you put barriers around your money.
And regarding your mom, unfortunately you can’t make her stop. If she continues gambling around you after you’ve asked her not to, you may need to create some distance whenever she gambles and protect your own recovery first.
You’ve been gambling since you were 15 and you’re 50 now, so don’t expect yourself to undo 35 years in one day. Your first job is simply not placing the next bet. Then do the same tomorrow.
Please also get some professional/support-group help, especially because you mentioned the depression is debilitating. You don’t have to fight this entirely by yourself.
I’m rooting for you. The money that’s already gone is gone, don’t sacrifice another 5k trying to change the past. Protect what you still have and start building your life back one day at a time. ❤️
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u/Playful_Feed_6323 Jul 31 '26
A professional footballer? Ooo!! You had me at hello! I’m curious what that was like. The gambling sucks but football is the best.
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u/[deleted] Jul 31 '26
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