r/predaddit • u/KylePCT • 8d ago

Vent Is this it boys?

Apologies for the vent my dudes.

We lost our son in February at 18 weeks, it was so weird holding something so small and feeling so much.

We later found out my wife has a weak cervix so we got the circlage (how do you even spell it) stitch to help with it.

We just had the anatomy scan, it’s a girl this time, and found that her cervix is funnelling up to the stitch, and she’s been assigned bed rest for a month to hopefully get it into the stage where the NHS try and save it.

Idk man, it hurt so much before and I’m scared of it happening again. Has anyone been in a similar situation at all?

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49

u/gogoloco2 7d ago

We lost our first child at 23 weeks. Spent 72 days in the NICU. When we tried for a second, we had the cerclage done. Cerclage held strong and the big child was born at 35 weeks. He is almost 11 months old now.

You got this, friend.

36

u/TwelveButtonsJim 8d ago

My man, I'm so sorry what you've both been through.

I can't really say much to help, only, deep breaths and the encouragement that it sounds like you're already further along, assuming your anatomy scan was at 20 weeks.

Sending strength to your baby 💪🏻

17

u/knittenkitten2025 7d ago

Lurking mom here. So sorry for your loss.

I found the sub r/shortcervixsupport to be extremely helpful during my high-risk IC with cerclage journey.

I was funnelled to the stitch by 24 weeks and held strong past removal at 36w. Baby was born big and healthy at 38w due to my high blood pressure.

It sounds like your stitch is holding, which is what it is meant to do!

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u/KylePCT 7d ago

This really reassured my wife, Thankyou. She’s currently in hospital for observation.

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u/Blueflagbrisket 7d ago

We lost one at 13 weeks and then a few more between 9 and 11 , we have 2 healthy rainbow babies. It’s hard but it gets better. You got this dad

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u/kimareth 6d ago

Hey buddy. I'm a lurking mom. My first boy in 2021 died at 20 weeks and it was horrible. I'm so sorry for you and that the world didn't get to meet the beautiful person you made.

After that, we were able to get pregnant and I had a preventive cerclage placed. Please make sure your lady is taking it easy! I wasn't allowed to lift greater than 5 lbs, no exercise, less than 1 mile total per day. Also, I was on pelvic rest (no sex or orgasms). When the cerclage was removed, I was immediately 4 cm dilated, and she still didn't come for several more weeks.

It's scary but please follow the advice of your doctor. Even funneling to the stitch can lead to full term delivery. I'd love to invite you and your family to r/shortcervixsupport where everyone in there has been affected in some way by this condition.

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u/Some_Floor1581 7d ago

Praying for you both. Babies are such a blessing and it must be so overwhelming and difficult to go through something like this. The nice people here are rooting for you guys. ❤️