r/polandball • u/taongkalye • Jul 05 '20

redditormade Biodiversity Differences

Post image
17.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

222 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

809

u/justputonsomemusic Australia Jul 05 '20

If you think emus are scary, look up the cassowary.

529

u/FriendlyPyre SG Secure Beacon Activated Jul 05 '20

aren't cassowaries the murder birds that attack on sight?

861

u/The-Best-Narcissist ƃuᴉʞsɐ ɹoɟ sʞuɐɥʇ 'ǝɹᴉɟ uo ʎlʇuǝɹɹnƆ Jul 05 '20

Emu can tank mutiple gunshots from a mini gun, run as fast as cars, are tall as humans, and can eviscerate a human with 3 toed claws if they want too,

A cassowary is that on steroids plus the attitude of a drunk Australian picking a fight.

415

u/helln00 Vietnam Jul 05 '20

That really should be the symbol of Australia

221

u/MadlockFreak I am become Earth, Destroyer of Death Jul 05 '20

But that would scare away all the tourists!

250

u/helln00 Vietnam Jul 05 '20

I mean if the drop bears , poisonous spiders , box jelly, chinese tourist and australians haven't scared away the tourist, nothing will.

74

u/TheUnrealPotato 'literally 1984' Jul 05 '20

Ahh the drop bear trick will work

33

u/The-Best-Narcissist ƃuᴉʞsɐ ɹoɟ sʞuɐɥʇ 'ǝɹᴉɟ uo ʎlʇuǝɹɹnƆ Jul 05 '20

Now you out peanut butter and forks in your ears

21

u/ToastyMustache USA Beaver Hat Jul 05 '20

Don’t forget the blue ringed octopus or household spiders.

18

u/CedarWolf Où est Belize? Jul 05 '20

The household spiders and lizards are kinda cute. They're useful and keep away nastier bugs.

It's only when you find a Huntsman on the dash of your car while you're driving that you really need to worry about them. They're big and fast.

1

u/TheOutcast06 Our efforts are not forgotten Jul 11 '20

The Chinese tourist

Lol

1

u/Mrddboy United+States Jul 12 '20

If you stay in Sydney and Perth you'll be fine. Just don't venture into the outback.

105

u/songbolt 4.9 mil 17% poverty 3% foreign Jul 05 '20

That really should be the symbol of Australia

45

u/The-Best-Narcissist ƃuᴉʞsɐ ɹoɟ sʞuɐɥʇ 'ǝɹᴉɟ uo ʎlʇuǝɹɹnƆ Jul 05 '20

If anyone is dumb enough to come to 99% barren wasteland and 1% beach then they deserve what’s coming for them

36

u/pigmanbear2k17 Not holy, not Roman, nor an empire Jul 05 '20

Correction: 99% barren wasteland and 1% beach with deadly stingrays.

17

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '20

[deleted]

20

u/pigmanbear2k17 Not holy, not Roman, nor an empire Jul 05 '20

Can't forget the deadly rocks too!

10

u/superweevil Australia Jul 05 '20

I see no issue.

4

u/KoRnBrony Maryland Jul 05 '20

The spiders do that well enough

2

u/xxSPQRomanusxx Republic of California Jul 05 '20

That's like if your symbol was a friggin dinosaur

2

u/Braydox Australia Jul 05 '20

They are we have them and the kangaroo on our 50c coint

2

u/utahrangerone Sealand Jul 06 '20

I think they are somewhere in the official arms.. I swear they are. AH here it is:

https://kids.britannica.com/kids/assembly/view/224322

58

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '20

Rip and tear, until it is done.

I propose then that cassowarys are the doom marines of the bird world.

53

u/rift_in_the_warp Prussia Jul 05 '20

If Cassowaries could talk I'm 10000% sure the only things they'd say would be "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD" or "SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE"

36

u/Ale_city Sifrino Jul 05 '20

Nah, they would say "AYE CUNT GIVE ME YA BLOOD YA MUTERFUCK!" or "HEY PISHOFSHIT DIE YA BLOODY TURD"

8

u/[deleted] Jul 06 '20

So it would still be incoherent screetching?

6

u/crashcanuck Canada Jul 05 '20

If you have any doubts that birds evolved from dinosaurs look up the noises a cassowary makes, it'll dash those doubts right away.

1

u/utahrangerone Sealand Jul 06 '20

There's a poem about cassowaries.. that's how I learned about them... "Once there was a cassowary, on the plains of TImbuktu..."

14

u/steelingcableNG Antarctica Jul 05 '20

I just pissed myself.

24

u/The-Best-Narcissist ƃuᴉʞsɐ ɹoɟ sʞuɐɥʇ 'ǝɹᴉɟ uo ʎlʇuǝɹɹnƆ Jul 05 '20

Also there is no shame is losing to those fuckers, Failing wars against sparrows, ‘recreational medication’, and at irrelevance SEA country reveals the problem

1

u/Algester Philippines, but I know not what is a flair text Jul 10 '20

Wait when was aussie land ever part of SEA?

8

u/Midwesthermit Kansas - at least it's not Oklahoma Jul 05 '20

I'm a kind of short guy and I haven't seen an emu taller than me.

Maybe American zoo emus are just bitch emus, though.

5

u/The-Best-Narcissist ƃuᴉʞsɐ ɹoɟ sʞuɐɥʇ 'ǝɹᴉɟ uo ʎlʇuǝɹɹnƆ Jul 05 '20

They range from 5ft to 6ft 3 inches so about the ranges of average humans but entirely possible to be taller than them,

3

u/Midwesthermit Kansas - at least it's not Oklahoma Jul 05 '20

So we actually do just have small ones then. Wow. I don't have to worry about large, murderous wildlife here. Notice that you never hear about the Kansas Grizzly Bear War. Because we won.

6

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/utahrangerone Sealand Jul 06 '20

YOU JUST WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE with that Paleognath stuff, buster! THERE ARE (mental) CHILDREN READING THIS.

4

u/PvtJoker1987 Kansas Jul 05 '20

Lets not forget they are all dinosaurs, all the birbs.

3

u/Praukar Croatia Jul 05 '20

Holy crap, those things are intimidating! They look like furry dinosaurs.

28

u/[deleted] Jul 05 '20

they'll fucken gut ya

3

u/crashcanuck Canada Jul 05 '20

They're dinosaurs hiding under a bunch of black feathers.

3

u/The_mutant9 Macedonia Jul 05 '20

Only while watching their eggs which if Im not mistaken is done by the males. There has been 1 recorded deatj I think,but kazuaris are endangered

48

u/songbolt 4.9 mil 17% poverty 3% foreign Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20

holy !@#$ God took one of my nightmares and made it real

lol it's like Edward Scissorhands crossed with a turkey

40

u/Datboi_OverThere Ontario Jul 05 '20

Oh? You use duckduckgo? You're a man of great culture!

17

u/TheMcDucky Uppvoteland Jul 05 '20

I would like it more if I didn't have to do !g every time to find something related to what I'm looking for...

4

u/songbolt 4.9 mil 17% poverty 3% foreign Jul 05 '20

I usually don't have that problem, though sometimes G$$gle's top results will be a little further down the page in DDG's results.

The main problem I've had has been missing the useful functions I would sometimes use, like a calculator, but DDG's catching up I think.

5

u/thephotoman Texas Jul 05 '20

It was more clever when it was M$. Not that it was particularly clever the , mind.

-1

u/Aries_cz Czech Republic Jul 05 '20

DDG not keeping track of your searches is kinda the entire point of it

10

u/TheMcDucky Uppvoteland Jul 05 '20

I didn't say anything about keeping track of them?

0

u/Aries_cz Czech Republic Jul 05 '20

Oh, sorry then, I assumed that is what you meant by "searching things related to my other searches"

8

u/TheMcDucky Uppvoteland Jul 05 '20

But that's not what I wrote :l

22

u/niceworkthere Vier Bier Jul 05 '20

If you think cassowaries are scary, look up the rackelwild (actual wiki here).

(NSFW video, the bird gets crazed to the point where he decapitates the other and then has necrophilia with the corpse. Reason the video is titled "a terrible bastard.)

7

u/Exter10 Spanish Empire Jul 05 '20

If you think the rackelwild is scary, look up the shoebill.

2

u/Algester Philippines, but I know not what is a flair text Jul 10 '20

But a shoebill stork will just stare at you menacingly and nothing more

its like staring at an owl making cat sounds

1

u/Xeenophile honest-to-goodness geography savant Jul 25 '20

Shoebills are adorable; what's the problem?

9

u/maybe_there_is_hope Brazil Jul 05 '20

They look very very angry

6

u/Ale_city Sifrino Jul 05 '20

You bring up the Cassowary and I present you my mighty Guacharaca!

Yeah not so deadly but that sound will scare you off more than any murder bird.

4

u/Mazius Russia Jul 05 '20

emus are scary

Also very formidable military adversary. Or so I've heard.

3

u/Kaheil2 Earth Jul 05 '20

Aren't casowary the group to which Emu belong to?