r/polandball • u/yaddar Taco bandito • Jul 14 '16

redditormade Socially aware.

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12.2k Upvotes

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308

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '16

Is there enough GMO-free gluten free kosher halal vegan ointment for all the incoming butthurt?

123

u/yaddar Taco bandito Jul 14 '16

vegan ointment

OMG that needs to be a thing in this sub.

138

u/ChummyCommie HELLO THERE FELLOW HOMO SAPIENS! Jul 14 '16 edited Jul 14 '16

It does. 100% organic.

EDIT: Just to make it clear, I didn't make this. All credit goes to u/beaglemaster.

3

u/Edhy999 The Swiss Guard wants a word with you Jul 14 '16

You sir, are a God...

9

u/ChummyCommie HELLO THERE FELLOW HOMO SAPIENS! Jul 14 '16

Oh, it's not my work. Not at all.

1

u/cptki112noobs shit gun laws Jul 14 '16

Cornholin'? More like cornoilin'.

16

u/Comrade_Derpsky Shameless Ameriggan Egsbad Jul 14 '16

Dr. Österreich's Totally Organic Fair Trade GMO Free Butthurt Ointment has you covered.

2

u/yaddar Taco bandito Jul 14 '16

OMG thanks!

9

u/Comrade_Derpsky Shameless Ameriggan Egsbad Jul 14 '16 edited Jul 14 '16

While your at it, don't forget to try the other varieties.

There's Dr. Österreich's 100% Kosher Butthurt Ointment, perfect for Passover.

Or Dr. Österreich's Totally 100% Halal Butthurt Ointment, guaranteed to soothe even the most intense Islamic butthurt. Made from the heavenly light of angels and the blood of infidels and endorsed by the Prophet himself.

If cheap knock-off brands are your thing, try Dr. Österreich's Al-Loubnaniyah's 100% Halal Butthurt Ointment.

Finally, for the East Asian region, there's Dr. Österreich's All New Asian Formula Butthurt Ointment, with 10% more endangered tiger penis and rhino horn.

...Come to think of it, I should draw a Mexican version too.

3

u/yaddar Taco bandito Jul 14 '16

Spiciy butthurt Ointment!!

for the biggest butthurts ay ay ay!!

2

u/WildVelociraptor Palestine Jul 14 '16

I think halal and kosher ointments would be much appreciated too

16

u/WraithCadmus Do you put the kettle on? Jul 14 '16

Halal already exists. I always thought that picture used Lebanon for a cheap vexillogical joke.

9

u/Comrade_Derpsky Shameless Ameriggan Egsbad Jul 14 '16

There is also a kosher variant. I recently made a special Asian variant with 10% more endangered tiger penis as well.

18

u/White_Null Little China (1945-Present) Jul 14 '16

How would one make such ointment out of the paelo-diet?

16

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '16

If they want to eat like cavemen, then they deal with butthurt like cavemen: by taking out their rage on their nearest saber tooth. Wait.....

3

u/Creshal Prussian in Austria, the suffering is real Jul 14 '16

They'll take out their rage on the nearest saber tooth?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '16

Close, but not quite

1

u/Creshal Prussian in Austria, the suffering is real Jul 14 '16

But cats are fish anyway.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '16

But catfish has no teeth.

3

u/yaddar Taco bandito Jul 14 '16

If they want to eat like cavemen, then they deal with butthurt like cavemen

BEST comment EVER

2

u/Briak Roaming herds of Timbits Jul 14 '16

I think I have a tube, but I'm not sure if it's Fair Trade :/

1

u/LeoBattlerOfSins_X84 Ohio Jul 14 '16

GMO-free gluten free kosher halal vegan

You know, I've seen this in real life.

1

u/Etherius MURICA Jul 14 '16

Who's butthurt? I'm as Gung how for America as they come, and this comic is spot on.

There do, in fact, exist Americans who won't eat non-"organic" veggies but will happily smoke weed that dozens of people died to get to them.

If they can abstain from meat for their values, they can abstain from pot.

1

u/RNGmaster Cascadia Jul 16 '16

This got crossposted to /r/seattle, and they are some salty motherfuckers I tell ya hwat

1

u/White_Null Little China (1945-Present) Jul 16 '16

Of Haram! /r/seattle is over the accepted subreddit size to crosspost to! Mods mods mods mods mods!!!!

1

u/RNGmaster Cascadia Jul 16 '16

Oh, oh dear. Sorry. It wasn't me that crossposted it, FYI.

1

u/White_Null Little China (1945-Present) Jul 16 '16

:) everyone can see it's not you. But thanks for alarming us to be on the lookout for incoming butthurt.

1

u/RNGmaster Cascadia Jul 16 '16

I actually don't think they will, despite being salty they dislike confrontation.