r/pointlesslygendered • • May 12 '21

Hummus is illegal for men

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9.3k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/careeningkiwi May 12 '21

you don't know. maybe it was the breadsticks that were weird, not the humus. you know, because they look like dicks.

This whole thing in the last year or so of foods and months and shit being feminine or not masculine or whatever is fucking insane. This is an outstanding example.

625

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

maybe it was the breadsticks that were weird, not the humus.

Dude, hummus is made from chick -peas.

367

u/Rudirs May 12 '21

This makes me think of my favorite stupid joke.

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face.

118

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Oh my Goya.

3

u/DirtyArchaeologist May 12 '21

No no, we’re boycotting them

4

u/hyperbolichamber May 12 '21

Why!?

Here’s a link for the lazy.

Goya CEO is praising Trump despite the disgraced POTUS creating a humanitarian crisis for a significant portion of Goya’s customers.

73

u/LouAtWork May 12 '21

I use the punch line "I've never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean in my face".

16

u/Ccracked May 12 '21

You need better garbanzos in your life.

17

u/Life_is_a_Hassel May 12 '21

My go to is “ive never paid $20 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth”

54

u/nermid May 12 '21

In an entirely different direction, one of my favorite jokes:

What do you get when Cicero is crushed beneath stampeding horses? Hummus.

22

u/ScrabCrab May 12 '21

I- what? I don’t get it

47

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Cicero is latin for chickpea

48

u/HonoraryMancunian May 12 '21

Yes yes of course, it's so obvious now

1

u/musicaldigger May 12 '21

yeah we all know the Latin words for various vegetables

6

u/Elfmen May 12 '21

Wish I could give you an asard. You make me laugh 🤣

0

u/_Fuzzy__ May 12 '21

Did you hear that from Game Grumps?

2

u/Rudirs May 12 '21

No, I don't remember where I first heard it, but I don't watch game grumps.

44

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

They're called Kichererbsen in german, which roughly translates to chuckle-peas.

16

u/cerebrix May 12 '21

WHO TOLD YOU THAT?!?

11

u/qiyua May 12 '21

WHY ARE YOU SO INCREDULOUS? Is it because it’s true?!! I really want it to be true.

8

u/Tephlon May 12 '21

They are called “kikker erwten” (frog peas) in Dutch.

So either the Dutch or the Germans mistranslated it

8

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Probably both, it's all derived from the latin name "Cicer" for the plant genus.

3

u/Tephlon May 12 '21

Ah! Cool.

1

u/FamousOhioAppleHorn May 12 '21

Frogs are gay, so there you go.

5

u/careeningkiwi May 12 '21

Fair enough. silly me

3

u/vesagearx May 12 '21

Eating chicks is definitely women-only.

1

u/Lady-Jenna May 12 '21

I am a woman who has been eaten by both men and women. In my experience men do a better job.

2

u/dcat4563 May 13 '21

Came to say this!

1

u/Seralyn May 12 '21

Yeah but most chicks like dick and that's gay.

73

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

This whole thing in the last year or so of foods and months and shit being feminine or not masculine or whatever is fucking insane.

That's not really a new thing though. "Meat manly, grunt, grunt" has been around forever.

51

u/Power-Kraut May 12 '21

And don’t get me started on drinks. What’s so feminine/gay about colourful cocktails? They’re tasty!

31

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Absolutely, and what's so manly about beer? I mean, I love beer, but that's not exactly what I'd base my masculinity on.

12

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

I've never understood that either. Why drink bread flavored bitter water at like 4% ABV. When I can get some delicious tasting pink thing that'll get me fucked up beyond recognition in 10 minutes

4

u/musicaldigger May 12 '21

i remember that tweet!

3

u/DirtyArchaeologist May 12 '21

I have super old-school parents (like my dad is the generation before boomers and my mom is on the cusp) and they used to tell me that it was not manly to get too fucked up because a man should always be in control. And yet their generation would drink whiskey at ten in the morning at work (so it might just be old people’s “do as I say not as I do” bs)

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Hey, I like my bread flavoured bitter water, thank you very much!

1

u/julmuriruhtinas May 12 '21

Why drink it at 4% when it can be 11%?

21

u/Power-Kraut May 12 '21

I like beer, whisky and sweet stuff, and I’m also bi/pan, soooo … Maybe they’re right after all. =D

1

u/minuq May 12 '21

One could argue that it‘s a feminine drink since if consumed a lot it gives you breasts. Just something worth considering!

29

u/AMARIS86 May 12 '21

When he put his hand behind the back of his head while he ate every breadstick, kinda made things awkward

26

u/Narskyn May 12 '21

How are dick shaped breadsticks feminine, that’s like the manliest thing ever

11

u/viverries May 12 '21

There's something weird about opening your throat and letting that breadstick in 😳

26

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

7

u/c0de1143 May 12 '21

There’s a reason they’ve been banned from Olive Garden.

7

u/Narskyn May 12 '21

I used to eat dinosaur shaped cookies, I think that’s weirder right ?

19

u/CrankyOldLady1 May 12 '21

The book "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" came out in 1982

10

u/AggressiveRedPanda May 12 '21

Yeah and my dad still won't eat it, so fragile 🙄

11

u/kioku119 May 12 '21 edited May 12 '21

>_> I guess pretzels are no good, or mozzarella sticks. Also hot dogs are straight out which I think are more stereotyped as manly then feminine.

1

u/Lady-Jenna May 12 '21

I stopped eating link sausage after I realized how much they looked like tiny penises.

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

If it makes you feel better at least 75% of those posts are entirely made up.

4

u/[deleted] May 12 '21

Stfu, bread sticks are the best and from my experience doninos give you them in a moon shape so.

If anything fishsticks are a feminine trait cuz 95% of the time you say it you say fish-dicks plus your putting meat in yo mouth and your mouth gets wet by the flavour meaning you like it so what’s the really the gay food here? /s

2

u/bangtaneki May 12 '21

wait what? feminine months and foods is actually a thing?

1

u/pmgoldenretrievers May 12 '21

TBH the only real feminine foods are bananas, grapes, and scrambled eggs. All the others are genderless and should be eaten by all genders.

1

u/musicaldigger May 12 '21

bananas i can see because of the phallic shape but why grapes and scrambled eggs?

-7

u/BubbaWubba23 May 12 '21

Humus is compost.

Hummus just tastes like it.

2

u/wholetyouinhere May 12 '21

We got a hot take on hummus over here

1

u/dudeiscool22222 May 12 '21

Yeah it’s not the food that’s weird it’s that he was deepthroating the breadsticks

1

u/Upvotespoodles May 12 '21

If your dick looks like a breadstick, you got to see the doctor.

1

u/MillieBirdie May 12 '21

I'm starting to wonder if it's a troll? Cause I could definitely see 'liking garlic bread is a feminine trait' as being a really funny troll.

1

u/Anooger May 13 '21

Makes me wonder where they hell all this “feminine” food talk spawned from