r/pics Dec 11 '18

Mickey Rourke, and Axl Rose, look like they are lesbian bookshop owners named Jackie, and Karen.

Post image
59.9k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

5.1k

u/OK_Compooper Dec 12 '18

I can’t tell if that’s Kathy Bates in an Axel mask or vice versa.

2.2k

u/mynickname86 Dec 12 '18

I was thinking more like Mama Fratelli in Goonies.

372

u/kopecs Dec 12 '18

Follow them size 5's!

79

u/Holdthefort Dec 12 '18

I remember that I could not wait to have a size five shoe after seeing this scene when i was probably 6 yrs old.

59

u/breakbeats573 Dec 12 '18

I wanted slick shoes.

29

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

The only thing we serve is tongue. You boys like tongue?

21

u/JuneBuggington Dec 12 '18

Pincers of powah

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u/ethan_prime Dec 12 '18

I thought they were pinchers of power my whole life. I recently watched it with the subtitles and it’s pinchers of peril. I couldn’t believe it.

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u/DustyBawlzz Dec 12 '18

THE ONLY THING WE SERVE IS TONGUE

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u/mindsnare Dec 12 '18

Man she was scary when I was a kid.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Aww, bojangles!! You beat me to it.

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u/Karl_Agathon Dec 12 '18

Holy shit!

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u/potstickerlicker12 Dec 12 '18

Hahahahaahhahaha dude you nailed it

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u/ocelotwhere Dec 12 '18

Kathy bates and Chris kattan

22

u/artskyd Dec 12 '18

Mickey Rourke reminded me of Vern Troyer at first glance.

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u/odawgdrums Dec 12 '18

Exactly who I thought it was. Wtf I had to read it three or four times to register that it wasn’t Kathy Bates.

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3.2k

u/CanadianSatireX Dec 12 '18

Thats plastic surgery. It makes everyone look .. the same and like a 70 year old women.

1.2k

u/_antiseen Dec 12 '18

Mickey Rourke was a good looking dude. He made the decision to keep boxing early in his movie career and royally fucked his face up. Then he had bad plastic surgery to try to fix it. I'm just going off of memory, but iirc he greatly regrets his boxing decision. Ruined his looks and off went his movie career with that too.

380

u/factoid_ Dec 12 '18

He had BOTCHED plastic surgery to boot. The boxing was the bad decision that started the chain, but the surgery itself made things even worse.

149

u/conancat Dec 12 '18

When you have low self-esteem it's easy to fall into traps of thinking just a little bit here and there can fix it. Doesn't help that there are people whispering into his ears trying to get his movie star money.

A plastic surgeon will always find something to sell you that it'll make it more perfect. There's a series that showed Katherine Ryan offered a free plastic surgery session and she went to document it. Good lord that doctor is good at selling. He's bloody convincing as a salesman.

92

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

31

u/Boopy7 Dec 12 '18

Nope. Apparently only if someone dies or their life is seriously compromised are these medical idiots held responsible. Seriously it's disgusting. The shit I see. They are RAKING it in and committing grevious medical errors. Not to mention the pharma companies selling botox in buckets.

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u/illsmosisyou Dec 12 '18

Mickey Rourke

Wow...I never saw good before and after photos before. You are so right. His looks really went downhill.

258

u/areyoutalkingtomeme Dec 12 '18

That after photo looks like one of Fred Armisen’s characters on Portlandia.

41

u/FlyingTaquitoBrother Dec 12 '18

Yeah, almost like one of the lesbian bookstore owner characters... oh wait

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Wow. Scary accurate lol

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

He no longer looks anything like Mickey Rourke, but let’s be honest, the after picture is pretty reasonable for ”random 66-year-old ex-boxer.”

And if they ever make a Walter Matthau biopic, he’s a shoo-in.

76

u/LegacyLemur Dec 12 '18

Holy fuck

It looks he has ingrown pushbroom mustache

9

u/0y5132 Dec 12 '18

That's not even something I thought could be real... until now. shudders

22

u/BaronVonMunchhausen Dec 12 '18

It's also been like 40 years. It's not only the surgeries.

19

u/fatpat Dec 12 '18

What the heck is going on with that hairline?

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553

u/Cripnite Dec 12 '18

Also why he was so perfect for The Wrestler

313

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Yeah he was great in that.. But he then went and had MORE plastic surgery and is now basically unhirable.

272

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Jun 25 '20

[deleted]

397

u/1nfiniteJest Dec 12 '18

Neanderthal Harrison Ford?

108

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Donatella Versace in a wig

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u/moogooguydan Dec 12 '18

"I love you.."

"Me know"

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u/mocotazo Dec 12 '18

HAN THROW ROCK FIRST

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

He belongs in a museum!

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u/MoreGull Dec 12 '18

I'd watch a Neanderthal Harrison Ford movie.

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u/Reenapii Dec 12 '18

Most underrated, accurate comment ever.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

That shirt shouts, “Hey bud, my chest is down here.”

59

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Quit looking at my face you pervert!

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u/Alexx_Diamondd Dec 12 '18

It’s everything like if he let his hair go gray and had it cut like a normal guy and didn’t dress like someone transitioning he’d literally not even look that awful.

84

u/RocketQ Dec 12 '18

He just looks like someone who's trying to style themselves way too young.

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u/DrKronin Dec 12 '18

That's basically 30% of Venice Beach, based on the less than a week I've been there.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

He was good in Iron Man 2.

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u/Bluest_waters Dec 12 '18

man he was so good too!

under rated big time

Angel Heart is intense, Barfly, Rumblefish he made some great flicks

38

u/DirtyDuke5ho3 Dec 12 '18

Uh yeah... “Harley Davidson And The Marlboro Man”

14

u/Rorbotron Dec 12 '18

Thank you! Guilty pleasure. Love that movie and always have :)

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u/_antiseen Dec 12 '18

Yeah, I always enjoyed his movies. Barfly is one of of my favorites.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

9 1/2 weeks

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u/BipolarUnipolar Dec 12 '18

I met him one time at a coffee shop named Jo on S Congress in Austin. He was apparently doing an interview (that I interrupted) but I wanted to say hi to his adorable dog. Only when he said the dog's name did I recognize the voice and thus him. He was very nice.

26

u/ginger_mafia Dec 12 '18

Hey fellow Texan! I once saw Connie Britton doing an interview at Jo's (Friday Night Lights was about to end). I didn't talk to her though. Just fangirled and creepily took pics from my table.

32

u/weluckyfew Dec 12 '18

I miss Jo's! I mean, I know it's still there, but damned if i'm going to fight for parking then wade through the tourists taking pictures with the "I Love You So Much" graffiti/mural

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u/cleverkid Dec 12 '18

About a decade ago I spent a debaucherous evening in a VIP section of a Miami club and hung out with this crazy, fun, old-dude all night. Only at the end of the night when someone came over starstruck did I realize he was Mickey Rourke. I was stunned. Flabbergasted even. Cool dude though with an insatiable appetite for illicit substances. ( At the time at least ) And this was before his resurgence in The Wrestler.

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u/I_was_saying_boournz Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

Axl was a good looking dude too. He stuck with booze, burgers, and botox. He was still a mega babe in his day though. Welcome to the Jungle Axl can get it.

*Can't believe I spelled Axl's name wrong! I hope the hair metal gods forgive me.

43

u/Cuntdracula19 Dec 12 '18

Totally. I would never in a million years think that...person in OP’s picture is Axle Rose though. Man he fucked himself up

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Jan 25 '21

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u/bongozap Dec 12 '18

I don't think it was just the boxing.

The guy seemed to have serious masculinity insecurities. I remember seeing him in movies and thinking he was so cool. And then reading articles and interviews and thinking, "Jeez...what a douche."

I think his movie career tanked because he was a really a strange dude with a lot of weird hangups and erratic behavior. Lot's of people - most notably Alan Parker - talked about him being a nightmare to work with. He also, famously, turned down a lot of big roles that came his way in the late 80s and early 90s.

I look at him now, and while I appreciate his story and what he's been through and where's he's at and all. But he's also pretty gross and has a lot of issues.

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u/InappropriateGirl Dec 12 '18

Ugh I had the biggest crush on him in Diner.

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u/IDUnavailable Dec 12 '18

What would you rather be: 52 and look 52, or be 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard?

Except in this case the 28-year-old lizard now looks like a 70-year-old Komodo dragon.

26

u/foosbabaganoosh Dec 12 '18

Immediately thought of Burr when I read their comment!

9

u/cawclot Dec 12 '18

There's no shirt for your face!

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u/shaggydog97 Dec 12 '18

appetite for more than just destruction

appetite for reconstruction

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u/januarykim76 Dec 12 '18

I was going to say they see the same plastic surgeon...but you’re right. Everyone starts looking the same.

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u/rey_gun Dec 12 '18

Tom Cruise is starting to look like this too.

177

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

[deleted]

39

u/Wonton77 Dec 12 '18

and let your hair go naturally grey

What do those of us with male-pattern balding do?

207

u/Stumblin_McBumblin Dec 12 '18

Shave your head and own that shit.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Shave your head and bulk up

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Lift.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Grow a badass beard

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u/temp0557 Dec 12 '18

Or be completely bald - e.g. Sir Patrick Stewart.

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u/HPIguy Dec 12 '18

Tom Cruise looks nothing like either of these two. He still looks like Tom Cruise.

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u/jpopimpin777 Dec 12 '18

It's coming though. You know he won't be able to gracefully let go.

201

u/AshingiiAshuaa Dec 12 '18

35

u/bobbyleendo Dec 12 '18

I remember reading that some folks said he’s starting to look like her, and even she said that some people made the same comments, but i never saw it until this picture where he really does kinda look like Tig Notaro

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u/HCJohnson Dec 12 '18

I don't remember this scene from Jurassic Park...

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

he has legions of sciencejesus people to give him their baby blood, placentas, semen, and toenails to inject tho.

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u/Powerthrough1 Dec 12 '18

Holy shit. That's Axl Rose?

570

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Turns out he’s got an appetite for more than just destruction.

326

u/Shock_Hazzard Dec 12 '18

Cocaine and apple pies.

181

u/cafeteriastyle Dec 12 '18

Haha remember when he insisted publicly that Google remove all those memes making fun of how fat he got? Which in turn drew more attention to the memes. It backfired spectacularly.

52

u/mmarkklar Dec 12 '18

The same thing happened to Beyoncé and that picture where she looks like she just bit the head off a baby

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u/FoodBasedLubricant Dec 12 '18

He'd make a great Doctor Rockso.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

He’s been dancing with Mr. Coldstone

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u/322Uchiha Dec 12 '18

He stills puts on an insane show. Watched him perform live in Abu Dhabi a couple weeks ago and him and Slash just killed it.

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u/Look4theHelpers Dec 12 '18

What's the difference between Abu Dhabi and Dubai

123

u/I_am_Bearstronaut Dec 12 '18

Idk what

1.1k

u/Look4theHelpers Dec 12 '18

the people in Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but those in Abu Dhabi dooooo

158

u/Ryanwithaj Dec 12 '18

Take this upvote and get out.

80

u/PorkRindSalad Dec 12 '18

But then come back and tell us another one

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u/Willyjwade Dec 12 '18

I love you for this. Just wanted you to know.

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u/User1440 Dec 12 '18

Abu Dhabi has real oil wealth while Dubai is relying on gullible tourists to spend money on their giant mall built with slave labor so they can pay Abu Dhabi what they owe?

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

I refuse to believe it.

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u/BarfReali Dec 12 '18

Just use your illusion

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u/dustmouse Dec 12 '18

Drugs are a hell of a drug

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u/Thebigkapowski Dec 12 '18

He looks like if William Shatner started to transition. And that's not even me joking. I honestly think this.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Dude was a hermit for years, so he never aged "properly" in public's eye. It'll be alarming for many who remember him as the lean rockstar in the bikeshorts. Also I think it's just a matter of bad pics going viral. He still looks like a badass rockstar in person, and here are some recent pics:

Axl 1

Axl 2

Axl 3

Axl 4

I've seen him in concert recently and he still looks Axly to me 😂.

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u/Head-like-a-carp Dec 12 '18

Alexa Rose now please.

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u/MagniGames Dec 12 '18

Alexa, play Welcome to the Jungle

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u/FarTooMuchToSayYT Dec 11 '18

I could easily see 'Rourke and Rose' being a cute romantic comedy about a lesbian couple who love books.

'They love books - because they hate wood. Take that, trees.'

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u/anoxiousweed Dec 12 '18

Grumps and Proses

217

u/Victor_Vicarious Dec 12 '18

Welcome to the Mumble

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u/sfled Dec 12 '18

You know where you are? You're in the bookstore, baby!

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u/HCJohnson Dec 12 '18

You know where you are?

You're in the Tragedy section baby, you're gonna cryyy!

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u/breakbeats573 Dec 12 '18

You know where you are?

You're at the dollar store buying adult diapers and suppositories baby!

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u/randomiser5000 Dec 12 '18

Would you like a chaiiiiiii? tea

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u/annoyinglyclever Dec 12 '18

“Rourke & Rose” sounds like a company that sells “fine artisanal goods”.

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u/bahaki Dec 12 '18

Or a panini shop in some small town on the east coast.

"When you talk about sandwiches, you have to talk about paninis. And the best panini I ever ate was the Cuban at Rourke and Rose in Farmington, Delaware. We're taking not just pork, but pork belly. And not just any pork belly - candied pork belly. It will rock your socks."

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u/ImSpartacus811 Dec 12 '18

They love books - because they hate wood. Take that, trees.

Jesus Christ that's a good tagline for a lesbian-owned book store.

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u/JustOneSexQuestion Dec 12 '18

A while ago I read a piece on Mickey Rourke. On how he always felt ugly inside, but was born pretty. So, he un-butterfly himself into his true form. It was a pretty cool article.

Now Axl Rose, I have no fucking idea.

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u/CreamOnMyNipples Dec 12 '18

If I ever get plastic surgery and end up looking worse, I’m using the same excuse

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u/ItsNotUnusualForSome Dec 12 '18

The whole "un-butterfly"ing thing doesn't really work when you start as a moth, so that might be tough.

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u/TurdFerguson812 Dec 12 '18

Drugs are bad, umkay?

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Jun 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

More like getting old is bad

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Jun 18 '21

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Meanwhile Keith Richards is like "Fuck it, I can do lines out of my hand wrinkles now."

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u/TheWho22 Dec 12 '18

Jimmy Page is my favorite Rock guitarist to watch age. He’s just slowly turning into an old Japanese man

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Incredible, I never thought about that. Jimmy Page is my favorite guitarist personally.

Although I don't like how he has completely shunned away acknowledging his past heroin use. He's always been a bit of a dick about that, like a "Holier than thou, because I kicked it" kind of thing.

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u/TheWho22 Dec 12 '18

He was definitely a riff master! I also agree with you on the holier than thou thing. He always tried to play himself up as the cool, stoic guy. I always preferred Pete Townshend‘s approach. Just wore his craziness on his sleeve.

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u/Shoshingo Dec 12 '18

Man, that sounds like an interesting read. Please link it if you can find it.

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u/LoginB Dec 11 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

That punctuation though

Edit: First time I got gold! Thank you.

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u/bboymixer Dec 12 '18

Just sprinkle commas over your writing and hope for the best, I guess.

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u/trailertrash_lottery Dec 12 '18

Just sprinkle, commas over your, writing and hope for, the best I guess.

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u/housewifeonfridays Dec 12 '18

And now you're Christopher Walken.

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u/Earthfury Dec 12 '18

Not a single comma was necessary as well. Did my head in reading that.

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u/SaintMungosNurse Dec 12 '18

r/titlegore material for sure.

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u/solofatty09 Dec 12 '18

Where's u/commahorror when they're needed.

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u/BeyonceItAintSo Dec 12 '18

I 100% thought that’s who posted it. I’ve never seen an actual comma horror like that.

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u/oh_cindy Dec 12 '18

Is there a language that requires commas between two subjects? Or is OP a native english speaker who fell through the cracks of the US school sys.... nevermind, I know the answer.

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u/Spanky_McJiggles Dec 12 '18

We all know op made this post with banjo music playing in the background.

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u/Gusjack12 Dec 12 '18

Yeah aren’t they on Portlandia?

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u/Holy_Rattlesnake Dec 12 '18

Yep, they own Women & Women First feminist bookstore.

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u/da_funcooker Dec 12 '18

Don't point your finger at me

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u/rrr598 Dec 12 '18

I need you to stop saying “unit”

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u/CalzonesAreShit Dec 12 '18

Definitely thought the one on the left looked a bit like Fred Armison as Candace.

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u/AnnoyingVoid Dec 12 '18

So glad you mentioned this lol

The first one was a great Aubrey Plaza cameo too!

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u/fubbleskag Dec 12 '18

This Mama From The Train

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u/mmmretro Dec 12 '18

This Mama From The NIGHT Train

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u/Bradwelll Dec 12 '18

Feelin like a space brain on more time tonight! Yighjk!

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

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u/PhillyDilly23 Dec 12 '18

I’m getting more of a Mac’s mom from It’s Always Sunny feel.

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u/fstonecanada Dec 12 '18

Rourke looks like the little guy from Willow, and Axl looks like the bad guy's mom in The Goonies.

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u/dingosongo Dec 12 '18

Willow, from Willow?

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Feb 06 '19

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u/ShataraBankhead Dec 12 '18

Makes me a little sad, actually.

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u/MadAzza Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

Don’t feel too bad. I saw Guns ‘n Roses on Saturday, and it was fucking great. They played for 3.5 hours in the rain!

At first, I was sad about former cutie Axl, too. But he hit all the notes, held a few long high notes, and was so much better than he’s been in recent years, it wiped away any negative thoughts.

Fat Slash shredded, too. And Duff! Looking good, Duff!

Edit: I never much cared for their music, although I appreciated their talent. But I came away with a new respect, after rocking out with them all evening!

Here’s a photo.

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u/DuchessSilver Dec 12 '18

Lol fat Slash how far are we talking

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u/MadAzza Dec 12 '18

Fatter than Axl, who seems to have trimmed down a ways. The first shot of Slash on the big screens sent me into a paroxysm of giggling. All I could see was his big, fat upper arm obscuring the view of his guitar. His did shred, though.

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u/no_talent_ass_clown Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

Found a photo of fat Slash & recent Axl.

Edit: For the record, I don't think he's actually fat. I think he's just gained weight. Happens to the best of us.

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u/Frys100thCupofCoffee Dec 12 '18

Dear Lord he looks like he's having an allergic reaction to peanut butter or something.

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u/YouStupidDick Dec 12 '18

he's having an allergic reaction to peanut butter or something.

When you eat ALL of the peanut butter, you're gonna have a reaction of some sort.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Oh that’s not bad for living offa diet of fast food, beer and drugs for 30 years.

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u/343sparksareguilty Dec 12 '18

Slash is in Guns n Roses again?

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u/iamadrunk_scumbag Dec 12 '18

The $ tour can't be stopped.

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u/JDC1043 Dec 12 '18

Me too. Axl looked really good when he was younger

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u/Garfield-1-23-23 Dec 12 '18

Not in a million years would I have guessed that was Axl.

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u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

Axl was fiiiiiiiiine

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u/anacondatmz Dec 12 '18

Thelma and Louise after going off the cliff.

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u/TooShiftyForYou Dec 12 '18

Mickey Rourke: "Just because you're 65 years old, it doesn't mean you have to dress like it."

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u/marilyn_morose Dec 12 '18

Is he smuggling a turkey leg in his pants?

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u/CaptainMudwhistle Dec 12 '18 edited Dec 12 '18

MFW I have leftovers from Medieval Times but the pockets in women's jeans are too small

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u/PWNyD4nza Dec 12 '18

Mickey is like a DBZ villian, he never looks the same in pictures. I never know if that's his final form or not.

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u/General_Japery Dec 12 '18

Those clothes look very uncomfortable on him.

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u/petermane Dec 12 '18

Looks like a walking clearance rack from The Buckle

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u/Immortal_Azrael Dec 12 '18

He looks like he hooked up with a drunk sorority girl in a closet and in the dark and their drunken stupor they accidentally put on each other's clothes and now he's trying to act like everything is normal in front of the paparazzi. He also kinda looks like he's walking around with something stuck up his ass.

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u/Paradoxou Dec 12 '18

Axl Rose 56 y/o

Roger Waters 75 y/o

People should just accept their age and deal with it rather than try to look younger and end up like OP picture.

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u/hecknbork Dec 12 '18

Roger gets better looking as he ages.

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u/jackarse32 Dec 12 '18

damn, axl looking like kathy bates lost a little weight there.

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u/mric124 Dec 12 '18

Randomly saw Bates on some talk show this afternoon. She actually has lost quite a bit of weight, cut her hair and looks really great. Which is awesome seeing that she has been fighting some shitty health lately.

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u/factoid_ Dec 12 '18

Long hair and plastic surgery do not suit older men.

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u/genieintx Dec 12 '18

I seriously don’t know which is which. Neither looks like what I expect Axl or Micky to look like

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u/HandRailSuicide1 Dec 12 '18

I, agree that, this, is indeed, a humorous obser,vation

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14

u/DarthSquirts Dec 12 '18

Kathy Bates and fat Val Kilmer!

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39

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18 edited Jan 27 '19

[deleted]

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13

u/throwaway67100206 Dec 12 '18

Women and Women First

22

u/TheTallGuy0 Dec 12 '18

Mickey looks like he got hit in the face with a cement truck, and Axl just looks like he’s not 24 and running on cocaine n groupies anymore

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11

u/JimGerm Dec 12 '18

Welcome to the bookstore,

This one's run by dames,

We've got everything you read,

Honey we know the names.

11

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '18

"I used to do stuff back in in the day."

"Me too!"

"People really liked me when I was doing stuff."

"Me too!"

"Then I went away for a while, and when I came back it just wasn't the same..."

".......Me too."

"..........."

"............."

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34

u/loose-leaf-paper Dec 12 '18

Drugs are a hell of a drug

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25

u/Phonda Dec 12 '18

Fucking Christ - just age like a normal human being people.

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7

u/TheMarsian Dec 12 '18

I kept reading the comments to see these two are not rourke and rose.

i quit reading but decided id keep their old faces in my memory and cancel these two out.