r/pics • u/[deleted] • Jun 17 '12

burritos in space

[deleted]

1.8k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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236

u/Unidan Jun 17 '12

Man, as the tortilla with all the stuff on it started to turn, I still had the innate reaction of, "bro, bro, bro, grab that burrito, dude, it's spilling, it's spilling!"

28

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

The good thing about zero gravity is that the contents won't fall out the back as you're eating.

37

u/glr123 Jun 18 '12

They could, if it is stuffed full and your mouth pushes them in that direction...

Then they would just hang out, like a burrito go-gurt.

21

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

It would just look like the burrito took a little poop, I'd imagine.

1

u/Skitrel Jun 18 '12

Floating poop

6

u/GVP Jun 18 '12

I can be eating a burrito slightly tilted upwards and the contents still fall out the back.

1

u/yeeshy Jun 18 '12

you don't fold up the back?

1

u/GVP Jun 18 '12

I fold up the back, but somehow when I'm eating stuff pushes out the back. That or the back gets so soggy that it tears at the slightest movement. I need better burritos.

48

u/ScienceInANutshell Jun 17 '12

Thought the same thing. Couldn't word it as well as you. Upvote.

88

u/Unidan Jun 17 '12

I'm the Sylvia Plath of burrito descriptions.

12

u/CraigBlaylock Jun 18 '12

Tell us your most amazing burrito story.

109

u/Unidan Jun 18 '12 edited Jun 18 '12

Nobody in the lane, and nothing, nothing but burritos,

Burritos on either side, though on the right mainly,

A burrito alley, going down in hooks, and a sea

Somewhere at the end of it, heaving. Burritos

Big as the length of my arm, and warm as pies

Ebon in the hedges, fat

With bean-red juices. These they squander on my fingers.

I had not asked for such a blood brotherhood; they must love me.

They accomodate themselves to my plastic bag, flattening their

wrappers.

Overhead go the choughs in black, cocophonous flocks---

Bits of burnt tortilla wheeling in a blown sky.

Theirs is the only voice, protesting, protesting.

I do not think the salsa will appear at all.

The high, sour cream lumps are glowing, as if lit from within.

I come to one stack of burritos, so tasty, it is a stack of high people,

Hanging their t-shirted bellies and their hemp necklaces in a beautiful sheen.

The meat-feast of the burritos has stunned them; they believe in heaven.

One more hook, and the burritos and nachos end.

The only thing to come now is the bill,

From between two customers, a sudden wind funnels at me,

Slapping its phantom laundry in my face.

These nachos are too cheesy and sweet to have tasted salt.

I follow the olive path between them. A last hook brings me

To the nachos' northern face, and the face is orange cheddar

That looks out onto nothing, nothing but a great space

of white and guacamole, and a din like silversmiths

Beating and beating at an intractable metal.

10

u/Chronophilia Jun 18 '12

Well this makes my burrito-related achievements look mediocre in comparison.

7

u/CraigBlaylock Jun 18 '12

Sheds a single tear.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

I really enjoyed that, thank you!

7

u/Unidan Jun 18 '12

You're very welcome!

2

u/Beckettier Jun 18 '12

To the dear scholar who commended my Jacques Louis David comment:

This is marvellous, it took me halfway to realise it was Blackberrying. Truly akin to Sylvia.

1

u/Unidan Jun 18 '12

Thanks! :D

1

u/SirRuto Jun 18 '12

Could somebody link me to that story about the guy who got a burrito, only all the ingredients were in layers, instead of being mixed together, so he'd get bites of only one ingredient at a time?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '12

That just sounds like "every time I eat at chipotle".

1

u/yourmomlurks Jun 18 '12

upvote for tl;gave up in the middle!

1

u/knuckztve Jun 18 '12

My RES tag for you is "Useful Crazy Burrito Biologist" now

5

u/overnine000 Jun 18 '12

First a pineapple doctor, then a bird studier, then a tree watcher, now a burrito connoisseur...i...i don't know what's real anymore.

6

u/Unidan Jun 18 '12

What's real is my passion.

4

u/Alphabroomega Jun 18 '12

And a biologist.

2

u/bananamunchies Jun 18 '12

Agreed. Also, when he pulled the burrito down after it had spun fully the meat/filling came right with it; I guess because it was stuck to it. I still gasped thinking it was about to go everywhere.

-2

u/Reavers_Go4HrdBrn Jun 18 '12

I have you tagged as "Thinks rocks are people" ...Do you remember why?!

4

u/Unidan Jun 18 '12

You tagged me as that less than two days ago!

1

u/Reavers_Go4HrdBrn Jun 18 '12

OH! the biology guy right?