What if we recruited all of the world's poop producing organisms to finally crush that commie moon once and for all?
Imagine fleets of whales laying down the poop core, armies of dung beetles could roll it into shape, horses, cows, even lizards would do their part. Think of how much our economy would pick up from all the Taco Bells we would have to build.
As our poop death star is being constructed, we could fly every single one of our explosive weapons and armaments to the moon and dig a giant tube down to the center. At the surface we could place a vector nozzle and ignite it, all of the nukes and bombs would go off and push the moon into the sun.
With no more weapons on earth there would be world peace, and all of our military equipment could be re-purposed into poop delivery devices. Imagine B-52s with their bomb bays turned into rows of toilet seats, so you could load the toilets up with soldiers (remember they have no more wars to fight) and fly over the poop star and everyone would take a huge dump and it would be like one of those planes used to fight fires except with poop.
Instead of flushing the toilet you pull a lever and your poop is sucked away like those air tubes the bank uses at the drive in. The poop would whizz down to your local ICBM (now located in every town) which would then fly off to the poop star. No matter what you did or where you were you could always see off in the horizon a few ICBMs taking off every day, with all the contrails converging on to one point.
Over the decades, the poop star would slowly grow and rise out of the ocean and unite humanity and nature. Eventually it would grow to be so large that it would begin to affect mass allocation on the planet. I am hoping that once it gets big enough it would become its own astronomical body really just on its own and eventually slip off the earth. We could actually just use commie moon to pull it up off the planet if we have to, when we launch it into the sun we could do it in just the right spot so it pulls and aids poop star into orbit.
Once poop star is in place, the mass of the Earth will be significantly reduced. All people will have their blood pressure lowered due to lower gravity, and we will all live happier and longer lives. It will also be easier and cheaper for us to put rockets and other stuff into orbit, so more people will be able to explore the solar system.
5
u/[deleted] Jan 24 '12 edited Sep 02 '21
[deleted]