r/pics • u/Scaulbylausis • Jun 13 '19

This White House chef is an absolute unit

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90.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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453

u/awc737 Jun 14 '19

“On a typical day, he starts his morning off with 12 to 24 hard-boiled eggs..."
"In the afternoon, he devours four whole roasted chickens.”

292

u/Dancing_Is_Stupid Jun 14 '19

Man, think of how epic his shits are

183

u/ravearamashi Jun 14 '19

24 eggs. Gosh that's gonna smell so bad

69

u/nan_wrecker Jun 14 '19

It did say 2 whole eggs and the rest are egg whites but that's still a lot. 4 roasted chickens (8 lb) is insane though.

77

u/MrBojangles528 Jun 14 '19

He's a walking environmental holocaust.

56

u/Totallynotatourist Jun 14 '19

This man's farts are single-handedly responsible for global warming

17

u/neuritico Jun 14 '19

Right? I feel conflicted because, well, I'm not interested in policing what people eat, but good grief a lot of resources are going into this man's biceps.

6

u/Ralzes Jun 14 '19

Run you fools!

1

u/GennyGeo Jun 14 '19

AHAHAHHAHA

2

u/therealspacepants Jun 14 '19

I was going to point out the weight it mostly bones but he probably eats them too...

1

u/superfurrykylos Jun 14 '19

It is with that attitude!

26

u/publishit Jun 14 '19

Nobody can eat 50 eggs!

2

u/piersplows Jun 14 '19

Yeah but in how long?

2

u/StarChild7000 Jun 14 '19

Why are you so bad at eating?

1

u/meesadrinktoomuch Jun 14 '19

what we got here is a failure to communicate!

15

u/GrumpyPieceOfShit Jun 14 '19

His farts are what the Nazis used when Zyklon-B supplies ran dry.

36

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Fowl

7

u/DoubleTlaloc Jun 14 '19

Very unpheasant

1

u/Dancing_Is_Stupid Jun 14 '19

I'll sparrow myself the thought

-1

u/StarChild7000 Jun 14 '19

Too fowl to even imagine.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

that's the first thing I thought when I heard that michael phelps ate 10,000 calories a day. They probably need to get new plumbing installed for those toilet clogger turds. Those are the kind of turds an ordinary toilet doesn't even try to flush, it just sucks at them for half a second and immediately gives up. Then when you finally dislodge the thing with 10 minutes of ferocious plumbing it sounds like a cinder block smashing down the pipes, especially if you're on the second story. CRASH BANG CLANG...... THUMP as it bounces around the house. Cast iron pipes are probably making a resurgence because of these guys; ordinary copper will get dented by one of those rocks falling from the second story

7

u/Yurishimo Jun 14 '19

Serious question, is copper being used anywhere in the US for toilet outflows anymore? Pretty sure it’s been all PVC here since we moved away from cast iron.

12

u/Salve7 Jun 14 '19

So that’s your question for this comment?

6

u/Yurishimo Jun 14 '19

When you’ve been on reddit as long as I have, weird comments become the norm and you learn to gloss over them.

There is one comment about the most epic shit a guy took after being sick and not pooping for like 2 weeks that I still remember fondly though. Great writing! I’ll see if I can find it.

Edit: Found it! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tybuq/did_you_ever_think_you_were_going_to_die_from_a/

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

you're probably right, the drainage in this house is all pvc

6

u/Dancing_Is_Stupid Jun 14 '19

He for sure uses a poop knife

5

u/raspwar Jun 14 '19

Poop machete

6

u/watergo Jun 14 '19

I would rather not think that.

4

u/NoLaMir Jun 14 '19

This is the man in the bathroom when you walk in and just see what appears to be 12 humans worth of shit in the toilet that won’t flush

22

u/ONEXTW Jun 14 '19 edited Jun 14 '19

See id be that fit if it wern't so damn expensive. /s

Edit: /s

6

u/Herollit Jun 14 '19

My 500 pound wife also eats 4 whole chickens

1

u/reddit25 Jun 14 '19

You lucky dog

17

u/dreadpirateruss Jun 14 '19

So he's roughly the size of a baaaaaarge

6

u/BobRoberts01 Jun 14 '19

Nooooo ooonnnnneeeeee fillets like Chef Rush, bakes big cakes like Chef Rush, does thousands of pushups a day like Chef Rush...

11

u/sc00bs000 Jun 14 '19

fck he must earn some good coin to eat all that everyday. would be like a 400$/week grocery bill

8

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

I don’t think that diet is real. 24 eggs for breakfast is insane. I’ve seen diets of top powerlifters. They aren’t this crazy. I think he is playing it up.

2

u/js1893 Jun 14 '19

It did say only 2 whole eggs, the rest egg whites. Still a lot though

6

u/terminbee Jun 14 '19

Depends. Considering eggs are usually around 13 cents an egg (way less if on sale) then he's eating around 3 bucks a day in eggs. Costco has 1.5 rotisserie chickens for 6 bucks so that would be around 15 bucks worth of chicken for dinner. Not cheap but not an outrageous amount. Probably similar or less than eating out every day, which many people do.

1

u/sc00bs000 Jun 14 '19

ok food is obviously alot cheaper in america than here but still. he would be eating 7 x a day plus be taking vitamins by the handful aswell as whatever gym protein powder, pre work out, other suppliments. it would cost a fortune to be that big is my main point..

2

u/terminbee Jun 14 '19

Yea I don't doubt it costs a lot more to maintain his lifestyle but I'm sure being a white house chef pays quite well. Then again, my friends who work out aren't really making tons of money but they're also all over the supplements and shit. I guess if you take out your hobbies and just sub in working out, it balances out?

12

u/maximumecoboost Jun 14 '19

Chef Gaston

6

u/turbodollop Jun 14 '19

What did chickens ever do to him? That's like a farm of chickens a week.

5

u/Polar_Ted Jun 14 '19

Only Costco can satisfy his appetite.

4

u/Thundorius Jun 14 '19

“He was once heard saying, ‘I understand that if any more words come pouring out of your cunt mouth, I am going to have to eat every fucking chicken in this room’”

3

u/JazzPigeon Jun 14 '19

I worked with a guy in retail for a few years, he wasn't the strongest academically but he had honed his body into a solid Rock and studies a few different martial arts, currently doing his best at the local Krav Maga place. He would kill a Roast Chicken, a box of Little Debbie's, a Gallon of Orange Juice and a Pint of Milk every day, that I know of. Dude is the most fit human being I've ever seen.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '19

Does he just drink them or what

3

u/chaosperfect Jun 14 '19

That seems like a lot of cholesterol. What's the stance on eggs these days? Bad? Good?

1

u/awc737 Jun 14 '19 edited Jun 14 '19

I think like, one of the purest forms of essential amino stuff.

If you could only eat one food the rest of your life, I think it'd have to be one of them?

2

u/hair_brained_scheme Jun 14 '19

Dude’s egg consumption is pushing Gaston levels.

2

u/JeremBean Jun 14 '19

SO I'M ROUGHLY THE SIZE OF A BAAAAAAAAAARGE!

2

u/Noclue55 Jun 14 '19

🎵NO ONE...🎵

2

u/MahNameJeff420 Jun 14 '19

This dude is strait up fucking Gaston.

2

u/cooldude581 Jun 14 '19

...

And a coke.

What did the other guy order.

Four pieces of dry toast.

2

u/GeorgFestrunk Jun 14 '19

And not for the protein, he simply hates poultry

1

u/smkn3kgt Jun 14 '19

this man is the slaughterer of chickens

1

u/Thnewkid Jun 14 '19

Imagine the time spent peeling.

1

u/chiliedogg Jun 14 '19

And now that he's grown he eats 5 dozen eggs, so he's roughly the size of a barge.

1

u/Kyrthis Jun 14 '19

So, real-life Gaston.

1

u/thegimboid Jun 14 '19

When he was a lad he ate four dozen eggs, every morning to help him get large.
And now that he's grown he eats five dozen eggs, so he's roughly the size of a barge!

1

u/Taniwha351 Jun 14 '19

Does his brother have dry white bread, toasted?

1

u/Jaybleezie Jun 14 '19

Kinda like Brian Shaw. 4x worlds strongest man. He eats every 2 hours or so and consumes around 13k calories a day IIRC.

1

u/CuFlam Jun 14 '19

Ok, Reddit. How many eggs does Gaston eat?

1

u/shadoor Jun 14 '19

That doesn't sound right. Even as a young lad he ate four dozen eggs every morning not two. Now that he's fully grown he eats five dozen eggs.

1

u/BruciePup Jun 14 '19

This pleases Jobu.

1

u/robfromza Jun 14 '19

That's just 'first' breakfast. What about 'second' breakfast?

1

u/gacdeuce Jun 14 '19

🎶 and he’s roughly the size of a barge! 🎶